A heart attack. I have had a few of those too. Only the miracle of medical science could tell the difference. I couldn't. Although I knew the last heart attack was coming hours before my heart actually stopped. I managed to get someone to call an ambulance and got to the hospital before I went into full cardiac arrest. That was 14 years ago. They gave me 1 month to live if I didn't have triple bypass. I'm still here and there is no scar on my chest.
I've spent years living with panic attacks. The mere idea of reading about them is almost enough to set one off. I won't even click on your link. I've had full blown agoraphobia twice - so bad that I had to quit good jobs on both occassions. I actually had agoraphobia really bad three times but the very first time, I didn't know what it was and I was a stay at home Mom at the time. I was about 26 or 27 years old at the time and here I am around 35 years later still afraid to read about them. I was almost over them. I have not had a full blown panic attack in years but the stress I've been living with over the past year seems to be making them think about rearing their ugly head again and it truly worries me. I've been fighting hard for the past few days not to let them happen and it's so odd that I come here and it's a thread. I hate panic attacks. You have to face the fear or it overtakes you. A panic attack won't kill you. It just feels like it's going to.
Did you know that men can do that easier then women can for some odd reason. Women get panic attacks that are much more severe than men do (for the most part - not always). I honestly believe that had someone been able to tell me that all I was experiencing was an attack of anxiety, I would have relaxed then and there and been done with it. In those days, they didn't know what it was and simply used the words "It's your nerves". I was in my 20's and I didn't know what in hell they meant. I found out what I had by a fluke. Walking down the street one day I saw a pamphlet laying on the ground. It said something like "Are you terrified you are dying" so I picked it up and found out what was going on. I can't believe I actually reached down and picked up a dirty pamphlet off the ground to find that out.
Oh how well we plan our lives around the possibility of another attack! I have a range of travel by car I can do comfortably. Other than that, I leave the driving up to someone else. I think my range has stepped up to about 10 km. from my home. I can go that far as long as I know there is a "safe haven" (familiar place) for me when I get there if I am traveling alone. I used to avoid malls but now I can enter and even go well into the mall rather than just visiting the stores close to the door. My last few days have been very rocky but I am confident that I cannot let them get the best of me and I will continue moving about. It's the only way it will pass. I know there is treatment out there but - it means I have to go to the mainland to a shrink and pay a considerable fee while they teach me to "get over it". The trips alone are costly, let alone the cost of the docs. Can't go alone so I would need my husband to take time off work. I'll have to stay in my little 10 km world but I'm okay with that. I can go anywhere as long as a friend or relative is with me or at least near by and I can drive miles with another family member near by on the highway with me. Somewhere I can see them in my rear view mirror. I have a bit of a lead foot. ;-) Now I have to shower and drive 8 kms to my son's old house. I think it's called facing down the lions.:lol:
Thanks Curio. Kind words in both your posts. I have tried all the prescriptions you've mentioned and more. There is only one that works. It's cheap, it's been around forever but for me and many others who suffer from panic attacks it works. It's diazepam. Doctors don't like to give it out but no one argues with me about it anymore. All they have to do is look at the list of what I have tried and what makes it worse. It always comes back to just the one thing to calm me down. I think it's totally because it's a muscle relaxant. I'm sure you are well aware of the feeling of walking around feeling like you are a bunch of tight elastic bands that are about to break at any given moment.. I've been down the road with a number of shrinks. It doesn't help. This is a thing I was born with and my brothers and sister have it and I've passed it on to my sons and I am now seeing bits of it in my grandchildren as well. Sometimes, years and years ago when my sons were away at college and my husband was working evenings, I would call my sons. One of them would answer and I would chat away, not telling them that I was in a major state of anxiety. After a few minutes of talking, which ever one answered would say "are you alright now Mom". I never even had to say that I was troubled. They just knew. I would say yes and move on to another subject. I didn't want to talk about it because it would bring it back. Today is better than yesterday was and tomorrow will be better again. I just know because I will make it so.
A sense of humour is a great thing to have for panic attacks (well - for many things). Tell me though, in the midst of an attack, are you going to have the presence of mind to sit down at your computer and start searching for this thread? It is going to disappear off the page soon enough. Read what Dexter has to say about dealing with them. I loved his words for getting through one.
Thanks. I've had lots of freedom days and have not had an actual panic attack in years. I do make sure I don't put myself in the position though. It's always there in a little corner of my mind but I try not to let it occupy to big a corner. I had a few iffy days there but it passed over. One thing that I left group therapy with years ago was this little saying about panic attacks: It came to pass. It didn't come to stay.
