Well. . . this one's for you then. . .Once the crew on my armoured truck were talking about how good "maple syrup" was. Then one commented "Yep, that Aunt Jemima's is really great".....and I lost it.
"Aunt Jemima's!! FFFS, the closest that crap ever got to a maple tree was when it was in the back of a truck going down the highway. Garbage! Brown sugar and water!"
Then I brought them each a small bottle of the real stuff.