I Feel Like This Guy on This Website...Like I Showed Up At the Wrong Gig or Somethin

Hoof Hearted

House Member
Jul 23, 2016
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Facebook is the one place where you can meet all of the people you've purposely ignored your whole life...all on one page.

Twitter is the same 800 or so shut ins projecting and feeding off of each other's stupidity.

I'm not done...just need to sink another drink to give me time to think. Cause if I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance.

 
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taxslave

Hall of Fame Member
Nov 25, 2008
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Vancouver Island
Worry not, my horsey friend. Often what is considered "in" is more accurately described as lemmings on the move. Some of the smartest people dance to a different drummer.
 
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Hoof Hearted

House Member
Jul 23, 2016
3,418
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taxslave,

I've been on a suicide mission pretty much my whole adult life...not caring what I said or whose feelings i hurt. I apologize...I was only ever angry at myself, but I've never had the guts to off myself.

But I welcome death. If someone jumps out of the pack and takes me out, so be it. At ;least dead men don't think.

I've discovered trying to make peace with my past is becoming pretty damn near impossible. My schizophrenia is telling me I'm in a giant Funhouse at a Carnival...with mirrors, distorted mocking faces, and I'm getting vertigo from all of it.

I don't know how to end this Circus I've created in my mind. i don't think this is going to end well. I'm just going to lay low for a while and try to think this through.

 
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Hoof Hearted

House Member
Jul 23, 2016
3,418
135
63
taxslave,

No. I'm not into sadfishing, and I will not take my own life. I'm just confused in this moment. I walk out the front door and feel like the whole world is coming at me. I still have insight...for now. It's my schizophrenic 'delusions of reference' and 'delusions of persecution.'

I just wish i was 10 years old again....knowing nothing of drugs, tobacco, alcohol, racism...etc. Just pure unbridled god-given energy, creativity, joy, no responsibility...etc.

Thanks for taking a moment to talk to me. It meant a lot.

"Often what is considered "in" is more accurately described as lemmings on the move. Some of the smartest people dance to a different drummer."

I wish I had written that! :)