no absolutely, you are correct. I almost kept all.. but I realized that ain't true. I am one. I don't see them as objects of desire.
Help me to understand a canadian man!
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Thanks to everybody, really thanks for your replies, i assure you we are old enough, both of us, and as for me i am a serious, high educated girl and before i decided to keep contacts with him, i was thinking if it really worth... and I think he is good for me
As about time difference, he is canadian, but working in Europe now.
As about time difference, he is canadian, but working in Europe now.
If you can, meet him in a public place.
the first 'ten' times lol lol
hmmm maybe that's not funny or silly, but smart.
Ok.... if you are not yet 20 years of age, and he may not be 20 year either, I would be very careful on deciding to venture across the planet to meet this person.
I'm not saying don't..... I'm saying be very careful.
The way you were describing him constantly saying he misses you, etc. sounded to me as though he wasn't too old yet and is allowing his emotions and hormones to drive his decisions and thinking.
He might very well be thinking that since you're quite attractive and a decent person, he might not do any better in life and thus is trying to throw everything at you as much as possible..... but both you and he are still quite young and have much to learn and explore in your lives.
Maybe this is one of those things you are to explore in your life and learn from....... maybe both of you are meant to be in a relationship..... Nobody knows unless you decide on what you want to do..... but if you do decide to do this and try and meet him, try not to hold any expectations that things will be exactly the same as through your web cam experiences.
I'm from Canada and my wife came from Australia..... we only met each other online and never saw each other face to face until she took the chance and flew here to live with me..... that was a big risk for not just her, but myself.
We both had to trust that we were telling each other the truth about ourselves and that we were not making up stories when talking online...... I very well could have been an axe murderer or some rapist..... and she could have very well been a big hairy man in prison.
It is very risky and you need to seriously think about those risks and if they're worth it.
If you do decide to meet this guy somewhere, while they may seem like a great and wonderful person, you need to protect yourself and think of the worst case situations...... and you need to think about what to do if the worst happens and have backup plans.
What if he never shows up?
What if he's nothing like what you experienced online?
Should you go with a friend?
Both my wife and I were in our late 20's when we met and decided to see each other..... we went though many months getting to know one another and planning what to do and accepting that things might be different when we meet.
We were lucky and eventually we got married......
You might be lucky as well, I can not say..... but you need to protect yourself and make sure you seek this relationship carefully.
To be honest, if you have concerns or you are not sure about something he is saying or doing (Or something he is not doing) then you need to ask him directly. If he can not give you a clear answer you can understand and sounds reasonable, then you need to step back a bit and think about where this relationship is heading.
You may like his ideas about love, happiness and family, but most people around the world like those things and can easily make something up. Ask in detail and get personal about his likes.... really test him.
At the same time, allow him to test you in the same fashion.... it is only fair.
The more you know about each other before you meet, the more answers you can get that tell you what is really going on.... the better you can make a responsible and informed decision that is in your best interests.
While his interests are important for a relationship, until you both meet and actually start a physical relationship, you need to protect yourself first.
Yes, more sense, but when i ”met” him he was in Canada, and though he is in Europe, but is not the same country as I am. And when he came to Europe, he said that he is close to me now, but i dont think is a big difference as long as he is always busy.
Well he very well could be busy with work..... But if he's nearby in Europe.... see if he can make a time to meet you at a cafe or restaurant somewhere in the public..... meet him halfway perhaps.
If he really likes you, he will try and meet with you. There is a chance he could be pretty shy and think you might be disappointed meeting him in person, and thus may hesitate in wanting to meet you..... it's a big thing for some guys, especially shy ones.
You may need to remind him that this opportunity will not come often and that you are willing to take the risk if he's willing to take the risk...... and if he doesn't take this risk, then he may spend the rest of his life wondering what might have been.
Who knows, it might turn out great and after your first face to face meeting, both your lives may change to something amazing...... but take it a step at a time.
Added:
But.... do keep in mind that his job may not allow him much free time to venture elsewhere in Europe and may have to head back to Canada shortly..... if that is truly the case, perhaps what you can do is try and plan with him his next trip to Europe, either for work or for a vacation, and try and work in at least one day where you both can meet each other.
I will take in consideration all risks that you are wrote and gonna meet him on my ”territory„, but he told me that had to come to visit me several times and all the time smth happened and he didnt, All these made me angry, as a reply he continue to ask me all the time if i think about him and is very calm. Thats why, i dont understand him.
He is a man, but i know more men and have boyfriends before, and i preffer to be ”clear” everything, need explications and dont want to live in doubts.
Set a day and a time and a place to meet him. Tell him if he doesn't show up, to leave you alone. Tell him no more excuses like "something happened".
Well if he continually says he wants to meet you but then never does or always has an excuse why he can't, while those reasons might be true, you have to base your understanding on what you know and what you feel.
The fact is that he has not yet made a direct plan to meet you.... you want to meet him, therefore you have to ask him if he is really serious and you need to tell him that you can not keep doing this forever. If you continue this to keep happening, then it will keep going as it is.
You need to set a limit to how far you will continue this or else you will just end up feeling that you are being used as an online escape and that he has no interest in going any further in the relationship.
You setting this limit and telling him that he has to meet you eventually or else stop acting like he wants to meet you, may end your relationship with him and he may never talk to you again...... but if he truly cares about you and considers your relationship with him as serious, he will understand your problems and worries and will understand that if he doesn't try and meet you soon, he may waste a great opportunity. That will not be your fault, that will be his. You are willing to take the risk..... but it sounds like he is not.
Maybe he's really shy.... maybe he has a low self esteem...... or he may not take the relationship seriously. In either case, you sound like you are getting frustrated and coming to the end of how much you will put up with.... the more he keeps avoiding you, the more it is hurting you and the more you are getting confused.
You need to really sit down and talk to him about your problems and worries.
If he can not answer your questions and concerns as clearly as any other guy you've met in the past, regardless of language issues, then you need to use your best judgment on how to continue
I try not to think about him and not to keep contacts, but i am thinking all the time about him, cant stop, its like a crazy, i cant talk about love, because i never saw him.
I dont know what is this.... and i cant keep contacts with other, nor from internet, nor for real life..... Dont know what to do? how to behave? if i ll tell him, that dont want to keep contact at all, i will suffer deeply... how long to wait meeting with him?
I dont know what is this.... and i cant keep contacts with other, nor from internet, nor for real life..... Dont know what to do? how to behave? if i ll tell him, that dont want to keep contact at all, i will suffer deeply... how long to wait meeting with him?
nope, I don't trust this 'constantly cancelling efforts to meet', if he truly has a difficult time getting
away, he wouldn't always say he is going to meet you, then cancel, he would know how frustrating that would
be for you, and he would wait till he 'KNOWS' he can follow through before he makes arrangements.
I would not fall for that one 'one' more time.
away, he wouldn't always say he is going to meet you, then cancel, he would know how frustrating that would
be for you, and he would wait till he 'KNOWS' he can follow through before he makes arrangements.
I would not fall for that one 'one' more time.
Anyway, thanks everybody, i apreciate your receptivity, especially Praxius, i think you have a great life experience and i will take in consideration your advices.
At least all we are ppl, though from different parts of world and diferent culture...
At least all we are ppl, though from different parts of world and diferent culture...
Hmm.... well that is a difficult position as you truly do have feelings for this person.
I can only suggest to tell him exactly how you feel about him and to explain to him your concerns and your worries..... you have to be completely honest to him... being honest to him is being honest to yourself.
If he doesn't want to talk to you anymore and you no longer hear from him again, you may suffer deeply..... but you will suffer more and suffer longer if you allow yourself to be dragged through this game he seems to be playing.
If he is anything like what I used to be in my "Younger" years (well, younger then what I am now) then he very well could be scared or worried that he might ruin what he has now if he meets you face to face...... and he might think what he has now is as good as it may get and doesn't want to risk losing it.... he may think that once you meet him face to face, you may never want to speak to him again or feel he's not good enough for you.
Ask him about these things, talk to him.... ask him what he is worried about, ask him if he's afraid of something happening if you two meet..... perhaps share some of your own worries to help him realize that he's not alone in what he's thinking.
He could be playing games with you and have no serious interest in you..... but by the way you explain the situation and the more I hear, the more it sounds as though he may just not be very self confident and perhaps quite shy. Since you said he doesn't always talk about sex, seems to talk to you about many other things and he seems to be interested in you for more then just your looks..... that sounds to me as someone who probably is very selective on who he has a relationship with and might not have had many relationships in the past.... therefore he may not have much experience, he may feel you have more experience then he does, and thus, even more shy and worried he may screw something up or might not be good enough for you.
Thus, he may be afraid of taking that next step in meeting you.
But the only way to get to the next step is to risk talking to him about all of this stuff. If your relationship with him is meant to be and there is a future together, he will understand you and understand where you are coming from, and he will risk opening up to you and telling you his worries..... which will eventually lead to you meeting someday......
..... or he may brush you off and give you empty excuses, or get upset that your pressuring him to give you answers.
Either way, in doing the above, your relationship will either progress, or it may end..... but you will know if it was meant to be or not and you will no longer be stuck in this position of guessing and worrying what's going on.
Whatever way you decide to approach this, best of luck to you.
Hey no worries, hope it all works out one way or another for you.
Regardless of being from different parts of the world and different cultures, there are some things that are universal for us all, and we're all still humans with our flaws and worries.
Though you never said which country in Europe you come from, much of your above concerns are similar concerns any woman or man here in Canada would have being placed in your shoes with someone you met online whom seems very difficult in meeting.
yes, a lot of things that you wrote are true, he is very selective, but i am also and i have doubts that he is afraid of smth from his past, he told me about his ex, but i dont let myself to open all details..... i will try to talk directly with him, cos honest is the clue....