Harper hates women!
- Thread starter Socrates the Greek
- Start date
Man, what is all that jargon about, we are talking about common human ability to communicate with body language as well visual communication. Whats with I will punch you out if you look at me to long. Humanity if it is to succeed in the future they have to have a great understanding between one another. You go to the bank to borrow money you look at the floor 80% of the time when you talk to your Bank Manager and I guarantee you are not getting the loan. Simple as that. So the question here is are we still in the cave days or we have evoluted to greater abilety in communication?
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Ha. ha. ha. Back up some of your assertions with more than this.
Frankly, you sound like you have a hate on and are grasping at some pretty weak straws to try to paint him as 'bad'. Go back to the beginning, to your first assertion. Stop jumping around from one accusation to the next everytime someone counters one of your points.
Never in my life has my inability to maintain constant eye contact cost me any credibility. People tend to seek me out for advice as a matter of fact. So, your assertion falls flat on this one.
Yes, it is a sign of a strong alpha type personality to be able to maintain constant eye contact. But that's just not needed in any modern governmental position, even our PM.
I know this won't be much of a representative sample, but in my life I've only been turned down for one job that I had an interview for, at McDonald's of all places. I didn't want to work there, but my parents said I had to start looking for a job in high school, so I applied everywhere. I was pretty disinterested during the interview. Looking aimlessly all over the place, just waiting until it was over. No wonder they chose the other fella.
All my other interviews, strong eye contact. Hasn't failed me yet, but it could also be the interest I show during the interview. Hard to say.
Regardless, I've always had good results with eye contact and good posture. When working in peer groups, having good eye contact with other members has always worked well. Seems to go hand in hand with assertiveness, as well as leadership. That's been my experience anyways.
Eye contact depends on the situation I am in. If it is someone I want to impress (boss, hot chick etc), I will tend to make more eye contact then usual. Everyday stuff, e-mail is suffice.
You're not talking just about eye contact though T. Socrates, when talking about a lack of eye contact, automatically goes to 'looking at the floor'. That's a combo of fixed interest elsewhere, bad posture, and a significant body language of lack of interest.
Making an initial eye contact, then glancing around while maintaining good posture, showing interest in your surroundings as well as making sure to look back at the person talking to you, shows that you're interested in what they're saying, without creating a need to maintain constant eye lock.
You're right, I wasn't. I think it fits with a larger package of behaviour.
Constant eye contact isn't something I really do either. Good eye contact doesn't mean constancy, and it certainly isn't a lack of eye contact either, though that will depend on the cultural specifics. It's still a judgment call for the brain. Our brain is interpretting more than just the frequency of eye contact, as you explained above.
Getting back to Harper, he reminds me of a android. Maybe it has something to do with his beady eyes.
And that right there is part of what annoys me about his assertion that it makes a person 'less' or denotes disrespect. If you were sitting across the table from me T right now, I simply could not maintain eye contact, I never have been able to. But you'd know I was listening to you and interested in what you were saying, trust me. And, because you would see that I am not comfortable with constant eye contact, contextually, you would probably automatically, without even thinking about it, stop locking onto my eyes constantly as well in an attempt to converse with me on a level we both found comfortable.
I dunno, I've been told I have dreamy eyes ;-)
Seriously though, I would probably focus on something else, like your mouth, or your hands, or your posture. There are many visual cues besides the eyes.
lol... well then T, perhaps you would catch me staring you square in the eye... if you read back, you'll know what I mean. lol.
Perhaps you need to improve your reading communication skills. If I warn you first that I'm not comfortable with you gocking at me and you continue to do so regardless, you're gonna lose vision quality... not hard to understand. I didn't say if you look at me I'm gonna put you in the hospital, just don't stare at me like you have a problem and things will be fine.
You would refuse my loan because I don't stare you down? Regardless of all the other information I supply, my credit rating, stable job with income.... you'd turn my loan down because I don't look at you enough?
That alone would get a punch in the face
But yes I agree that better communication and understanding is required in humanity.... but I don't need to be glaring you down to understand what you are saying or to communicate clearly.
Allow me to put this in another perspective which might explain my positioning:
As I've babbled on in here, I've got some background in military, father was in the military, brother, blah blah blah.... old news, I know. But when you are thrown in that environment and you are in line, getting dictated to by the superior officer / squad leader..... You look straight ahead and do not wander your eyes around. You stand at attention and you listen.
Stare at your squad leader as he's yelling at you and see what happens. Stare at my father while he's giving me a whoopin' or yelling at me for something stupid I did and see what happens. In jail, stare at another prisoner for too long, or a guard and see what happens.
^ This is the position I come from.... communication does not require someone to be staring at you, and because someone is not looking at you, doesn't mean you can not trust them. If that was the case, no soldier would probably trust one another in their squad..... they wouldn't trust their squad leader.
Granted, Jail, Military or a father from the military is not our entire social existence.... but neither is sales and customer service.
I judge people based on their actions and what they say, not how dreamy they can stare into my precious crystal eyes.
Sure, bottom line the bank manager is a great test onto wether or not eye contact is important. I am not here to advocate that humanity should change their methodology of communication. We have drifted from the main point I made that Harper is a cold personality. Psychologists believe that certain communication behaviour whether physical languish or facial expressions as well eye contact identify the level of warm Ora or cold.
I am not suggesting that you are two face I don't even know yo, I may sound like generalising but my point is PM Harper has a cold Ora around him and his priorities are up side down.
Exactly part of my issue Praxius... eye contact, growing up, meant that you were opening yourself up for a fight, or for unwanted attention. There was a thin line to walk, between showing you were listening to what they had to say, and looking like you were challenging them.
Funny but he never struck me as being 'cold' (focusing on the negative impression of his posture and demeanor), but rather struck me as scrutinizing and thoughtful (focusing on the positive attributes indicated by such demeanor).
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Perhaps you need to improve your reading communication skills. If I warn you first that I'm not comfortable with you gocking at me and you continue to do so regardless, you're gonna lose vision quality... not hard to understand. I didn't say if you look at me I'm gonna put you in the hospital, just don't stare at me like you have a problem and things will be fine.
You would refuse my loan because I don't stare you down? Regardless of all the other information I supply, my credit rating, stable job with income.... you'd turn my loan down because I don't look at you enough?
That alone would get a punch in the face
But yes I agree that better communication and understanding is required in humanity.... but I don't need to be glaring you down to understand what you are saying or to communicate clearly.
Allow me to put this in another perspective which might explain my positioning:
As I've babbled on in here, I've got some background in military, father was in the military, brother, blah blah blah.... old news, I know. But when you are thrown in that environment and you are in line, getting dictated to by the superior officer / squad leader..... You look straight ahead and do not wander your eyes around. You stand at attention and you listen.
Stare at your squad leader as he's yelling at you and see what happens. Stare at my father while he's giving me a whoopin' or yelling at me for something stupid I did and see what happens. In jail, stare at another prisoner for too long, or a guard and see what happens.
^ This is the position I come from.... communication does not require someone to be staring at you, and because someone is not looking at you, doesn't mean you can not trust them. If that was the case, no soldier would probably trust one another in their squad..... they wouldn't trust their squad leader.
Granted, Jail, Military or a father from the military is not our entire social existence.... but neither is sales and customer service.
I judge people based on their actions and what they say, not how dreamy they can stare into my precious crystal eyes.
I can tell you are very sensitive, my illustration with the bank manager is say if you did not know the manager that well. Of course when a person has established credit they probably would do the enquiry for a load over the phone or e-mail and call you to come in to sign the documents. Totally different from walking into the bank not know the manager look at floor 80% of the time guarantee the results will be negative.
By the way this post was intended to help the awareness on a woman stuck in Mexico for two years, while driven to etempting suecied.