Funny Quotes, Sayings & Memes


New Member
Sep 16, 2006
Here are some funny quotes and sayings, you can share these funny lines with friends on social networks like facebook as statuses, myspace, google plus, twitter, etc.

1. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

2. "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

3. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

4. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

5. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

6. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

7. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

8. "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

9. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

10. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson


Time Out
Feb 2, 2006
If life gives you melons, you may have dyslexia.

A Short History of Ireland

Potatoes, whiskey, potatoes, whiskey, poetry, potatoes, whiskey, music, fistfights, no potatoes, whiskey, potatoes, JFK, whiskey, bombs, potatoes, bombs, whiskey, U2

There's a new Muslim clothing store that opened in Lethbridge but I've been banned from it after I asked to look at some bomber jackets.

Look at your post, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your post, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You're on CanCon, reading the post that your post could be like. I'm on a computer.

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