At this point in the discussion I think it might be interesting to turn the OP's question around: do you struggle like Jesus did? I think most of us who are trying to make sense of our lives would probably answer yes, to some degree, though fortunately very few of us know that our lives are going to be sacrificed for some supposedly greater good and I hope very few of us would have the hubris to equate our personal struggles with what reportedly happened to Jesus.
Even as an atheist, this is one of the great mysteries to me. I've never been any good at making leaps of either faith or logic, I have to see the whole argument laid out in rational steps and justified at every point before it makes sense to me, and this one eludes me entirely. How can one person take on all the 'sins of the world,' whatever that means, for all time, for everybody? Why didn't the whole world get that message at the same time? I've been told at various times by various people that god has not seen fit to remove the scales from my eyes, that I'm arrogant and ignorant, that I'm a scoffer and a mocker and worse, that I'm damned for all time because I insist on reasoned explanations and justifications, that doubt and reason and logic are bad and useless things, that I am personally a bad man, and I've had scripture cited at me to justify all those claims. I reject it all. It fundamentally doesn't make sense to me.