Here's a story:
And this story is a good one:
http://www.winchesterstar.com/article_details.php?ArticleID=6587
And this story is a good one:
http://www.winchesterstar.com/article_details.php?ArticleID=6587
Complaining about humanity
- Thread starter karrie
- Start date
You may not like it but is that really your choice?
Take a little side-journey with me here and maybe you can learn a little about yourself!
When you were a child, did your folks give you an allowance?
Do you give your children an allowance?
Why?
Many people think that the mechanism of gifting their children with “allowance” teaches them about responsibility and “rewards” them for taking on their share of responsibilities around the house….that it’s “necessary” to demonstrate to a child that when expectations are met…that reward will follow….that withholding an “allowance” will place an undue burden on their children as their peers practice spending money handed them by their folks….. “Managing their money…”
WRONG!
We live in a world influenced to the utmost degree by the rallying cry of Individuality.
And yet, the expectation of an allowance is all but “standard” and fully accepted as normal in today’s society. How can a nation of robust individualism fall so completely and ubiquitously to the standard of “My friends all get allowance…so why shouldn’t I?”
We’ve made the term “community service” a criminal sentence, meted out as punishment to young offenders and criminals who through some legerdemain of legalistic gymnastics somehow dictates that this criminal “justly” deserves this “lighter” sentence…..
Members in a community, whether that community is the family (nuclear or extended) the village town city or nation of permanent residence, share in the economic philosophical ethnic religious and legal traditions of that community. Allowance is about teaching children about their participation in and their obligations to their community. It’s that complicated.
Moms and dads don’t get an allowance. Moms and dads have found they have to work …to trade labor and skills for script that can be exchanged for goods and services they need, want or desire. No one hands mom and dad a weekly stipend… Why? Do mom and dad go to work to fill in time while waiting for their allowance?
When a family is moderately “prosperous” they live indoors and eats reasonably regularly. Many families have been observed wearing clothes and the adults have been witnessed driving automobiles and various other kinds of vehicles. Frequently in some locations precipitation in the form of frozen water vapor falls to the earth and requires policing to facilitate mobility. In some areas, grass has been known to grown on land in front of people’s houses and some suggest that even the back yard is capable of exhibiting a similar propensity.
Air born contaminant like dust and dirt, infiltrate living accommodations and requires removal from time to time…..now understand here, the living accommodations I’m talking about are EVERYONE’S! Yes, the living room, the kitchen, hallways, every single space inside a residential domain occupied by and used by EVERYONE sometimes needs to be cleaned.
It’s common in reasonably prosperous family constructs to consume food together as a familial tradition. Since most if not all this food requires some preparation beyond being lugged home from the supermarket and stored briefly in the refrigerated storage available to this miniscule community. Similarly cleaning supplies, toilet paper and non-edible consumables require storage and frequent replenishment. It’s important to remember ….THIS FOOD AND THESE GOODS ARE FOR and USED BY EVERY MEMBER of this little collective. Rafters and shingles aren’t selective in whom they protect. The same roof that covers mom and dad covers Johnny and Sally too.
“Community” brings with it…. now brace yourself….RESPONSIBILITIES!
When a reasonably prosperous family unit enjoys a surplus of disposable income (from either or both the pooled earnings of Mom and Dad or the principle wage earner) an “allowance” is both a figurative and actual distribution of the “wealth” of the community unit among the members of that community. Cleaning up “your room”, mowing the lawn, shoveling the walkway and a multitude of tasks that exist around the home exist for every member of the community. Compensating a child for shouldering their fair share of the community’s needs and tasks reduces parenting to a business arrangement.
When the mortgage falls due, the credit card balance is yammering for attention and the utility companies post expectations of payment for services delivered…. these expenses are expenses of the community.
Have you ever sat with your children and clarified this reality with and for them?
I’ll bet you haven’t! In fact I’d go so far as to hazard a guess that you’ve never adopted this perspective yourself. When you can’t meet your “allowance obligations” do you explain to your children that the family finances are somewhat more burdensome than anticipated and the ritual of “allowances” will be deferred until the financial complexion of the community’s cash flow reflects a positive change?
I’ll bet that the mysterious and perhaps miraculous phenomenon of the “credit card” comes into play in this little drama……
A credit card allows you to spend money you haven’t earned…but promise to repay to the lender….. This is a magical concept to a youngster. Money from nothing……
How realistic do you think your modeling of the nature of familial commerce is to your children? Do your children perceive the connection between “money for nothing” and weeks working at jobs that are all too often unfulfilling and tedious or dangerous…. to pay off that credit balance?
Is your children’s “expectations” product of your failure to be completely transparent and open regarding the nature of what it is to earn a living and put food on the table?
How realistic is it to believe that a child will somehow “learn” the value of both community and a dollar when the standard they see doesn’t reflect the reality of life?
Many people it seems can’t deal with a critical eye turned toward their traditions and behaviors. Perhaps it’s because an examination of those traditions and those behaviors would bring the hypocrisy and self-delusion into too sharp a focus!
Why gee Mikey….it’s not all that important after all….. It’s only the structures we’ll set into place that our children will employ as standard and model upon which they’ll build their own lives……not all that critical…..
Take a little side-journey with me here and maybe you can learn a little about yourself!
When you were a child, did your folks give you an allowance?
Do you give your children an allowance?
Why?
Many people think that the mechanism of gifting their children with “allowance” teaches them about responsibility and “rewards” them for taking on their share of responsibilities around the house….that it’s “necessary” to demonstrate to a child that when expectations are met…that reward will follow….that withholding an “allowance” will place an undue burden on their children as their peers practice spending money handed them by their folks….. “Managing their money…”
WRONG!
We live in a world influenced to the utmost degree by the rallying cry of Individuality.
And yet, the expectation of an allowance is all but “standard” and fully accepted as normal in today’s society. How can a nation of robust individualism fall so completely and ubiquitously to the standard of “My friends all get allowance…so why shouldn’t I?”
We’ve made the term “community service” a criminal sentence, meted out as punishment to young offenders and criminals who through some legerdemain of legalistic gymnastics somehow dictates that this criminal “justly” deserves this “lighter” sentence…..
Members in a community, whether that community is the family (nuclear or extended) the village town city or nation of permanent residence, share in the economic philosophical ethnic religious and legal traditions of that community. Allowance is about teaching children about their participation in and their obligations to their community. It’s that complicated.
Moms and dads don’t get an allowance. Moms and dads have found they have to work …to trade labor and skills for script that can be exchanged for goods and services they need, want or desire. No one hands mom and dad a weekly stipend… Why? Do mom and dad go to work to fill in time while waiting for their allowance?
When a family is moderately “prosperous” they live indoors and eats reasonably regularly. Many families have been observed wearing clothes and the adults have been witnessed driving automobiles and various other kinds of vehicles. Frequently in some locations precipitation in the form of frozen water vapor falls to the earth and requires policing to facilitate mobility. In some areas, grass has been known to grown on land in front of people’s houses and some suggest that even the back yard is capable of exhibiting a similar propensity.
Air born contaminant like dust and dirt, infiltrate living accommodations and requires removal from time to time…..now understand here, the living accommodations I’m talking about are EVERYONE’S! Yes, the living room, the kitchen, hallways, every single space inside a residential domain occupied by and used by EVERYONE sometimes needs to be cleaned.
It’s common in reasonably prosperous family constructs to consume food together as a familial tradition. Since most if not all this food requires some preparation beyond being lugged home from the supermarket and stored briefly in the refrigerated storage available to this miniscule community. Similarly cleaning supplies, toilet paper and non-edible consumables require storage and frequent replenishment. It’s important to remember ….THIS FOOD AND THESE GOODS ARE FOR and USED BY EVERY MEMBER of this little collective. Rafters and shingles aren’t selective in whom they protect. The same roof that covers mom and dad covers Johnny and Sally too.
“Community” brings with it…. now brace yourself….RESPONSIBILITIES!
When a reasonably prosperous family unit enjoys a surplus of disposable income (from either or both the pooled earnings of Mom and Dad or the principle wage earner) an “allowance” is both a figurative and actual distribution of the “wealth” of the community unit among the members of that community. Cleaning up “your room”, mowing the lawn, shoveling the walkway and a multitude of tasks that exist around the home exist for every member of the community. Compensating a child for shouldering their fair share of the community’s needs and tasks reduces parenting to a business arrangement.
When the mortgage falls due, the credit card balance is yammering for attention and the utility companies post expectations of payment for services delivered…. these expenses are expenses of the community.
Have you ever sat with your children and clarified this reality with and for them?
I’ll bet you haven’t! In fact I’d go so far as to hazard a guess that you’ve never adopted this perspective yourself. When you can’t meet your “allowance obligations” do you explain to your children that the family finances are somewhat more burdensome than anticipated and the ritual of “allowances” will be deferred until the financial complexion of the community’s cash flow reflects a positive change?
I’ll bet that the mysterious and perhaps miraculous phenomenon of the “credit card” comes into play in this little drama……
A credit card allows you to spend money you haven’t earned…but promise to repay to the lender….. This is a magical concept to a youngster. Money from nothing……
How realistic do you think your modeling of the nature of familial commerce is to your children? Do your children perceive the connection between “money for nothing” and weeks working at jobs that are all too often unfulfilling and tedious or dangerous…. to pay off that credit balance?
Is your children’s “expectations” product of your failure to be completely transparent and open regarding the nature of what it is to earn a living and put food on the table?
How realistic is it to believe that a child will somehow “learn” the value of both community and a dollar when the standard they see doesn’t reflect the reality of life?
Many people it seems can’t deal with a critical eye turned toward their traditions and behaviors. Perhaps it’s because an examination of those traditions and those behaviors would bring the hypocrisy and self-delusion into too sharp a focus!
Why gee Mikey….it’s not all that important after all….. It’s only the structures we’ll set into place that our children will employ as standard and model upon which they’ll build their own lives……not all that critical…..
"When you were a child, did your folks give you an allowance? "
No.
"Do you give your children an allowance?"
No.
"A credit card allows you to spend money you haven’t earned…"
We don't carry debt except for a small mortgage. No point in paying someone else for the money we spend. We're pretty clear about that with our kids. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. Credit cards are used only where it's a canvenience issue, but never where it's a 'lack of money' issue.
No.
"Do you give your children an allowance?"
No.
"A credit card allows you to spend money you haven’t earned…"
We don't carry debt except for a small mortgage. No point in paying someone else for the money we spend. We're pretty clear about that with our kids. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. Credit cards are used only where it's a canvenience issue, but never where it's a 'lack of money' issue.
Good principle Karrie!
My point however is that we’ve accepted “traditions” and ideas about what we do and why we do them…often without really understanding.
Have you (not just Karrie but folk in general) ever sat your children down and talked about the myth of Santa Claus?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus
Santa Claus and “Christmas” aren’t about “Peace on Earth” and “Good will toward all men.” perhaps at one time there may have been some substance to this notion but human greed has fastened onto this idea and …ask any retailer… When are you most likely to see a surge in business and recoup any shortfall in income over the year…?
This “occasion” has been turned into an orgy of greed. At every level imaginable, people are encouraged to spend more than they can afford…(credit cards and charge accounts) children are advertised-to and encouraged to “expect” the current popular bauble…. and pressure their parents to purchase it…. People afraid they’re being observed by everyone around them will spend more because they want to preserve the image of “success” and demonstrate how wealthy and “successful” they are…. whether their purchases mean anything or not…
From chocolate bunnies at Easter to Valentine “gift-boxes” to buying the “right” gift for mom on Mother’s Day and of course the “right” gift for Dad on Father’s Day, we are (successfully) conditioned to consume without conscience and then wonder why people are often so sad on these “holidays”….
Because they’ve become meaningless hollow rote-endeavours bereft of any real meaning.
We’re automatons following a programmed routine of functions…and that’s about all there is.
And how long has it been this way?
Our traditions and our ideas about everything from “allowance” to the Tooth Fairy are manipulations performed on ourselves’ and on each other to reinforce the non-reality of our “beliefs” and our “traditions”.
It only makes sense logically that the business community would champion generosity at Christmas time…doesn’t it? Where is the business community when a drug rehab center needs support or a batter women’s shelter needs clothing and food? And look a little deeper into the miasma of “charity” as practiced by MacDonald’s and many other retailer/fast-food emporiums…
After selling billions upon billions of burgers and fries…does it make any sense that there are starving children in Canada? Does it make any sense that food-banks are used by three-quarters of a million Canadians?
Our traditions and our perspectives are moulded to satisfy appetites and we will not abide any interference with our “right” to have those appetites satisfied.
There is unfortunately a great deal wrong with our society and only now and then is so damning an example of how cutthroat and petty we’ve all become reached out to touch us. Recently a woman was fired at a Tim Horton’s for giving a “Tim-Bit” to a child…and this same organization wants you to spend money there during “Camp Week”….. You can feel good about spending your money at Tim Horton’s because the people who run Tim Horton’s really really care about people…………..
But it’s like I’ve said before….
We choose.
My point however is that we’ve accepted “traditions” and ideas about what we do and why we do them…often without really understanding.
Have you (not just Karrie but folk in general) ever sat your children down and talked about the myth of Santa Claus?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus
Santa Claus and “Christmas” aren’t about “Peace on Earth” and “Good will toward all men.” perhaps at one time there may have been some substance to this notion but human greed has fastened onto this idea and …ask any retailer… When are you most likely to see a surge in business and recoup any shortfall in income over the year…?
This “occasion” has been turned into an orgy of greed. At every level imaginable, people are encouraged to spend more than they can afford…(credit cards and charge accounts) children are advertised-to and encouraged to “expect” the current popular bauble…. and pressure their parents to purchase it…. People afraid they’re being observed by everyone around them will spend more because they want to preserve the image of “success” and demonstrate how wealthy and “successful” they are…. whether their purchases mean anything or not…
From chocolate bunnies at Easter to Valentine “gift-boxes” to buying the “right” gift for mom on Mother’s Day and of course the “right” gift for Dad on Father’s Day, we are (successfully) conditioned to consume without conscience and then wonder why people are often so sad on these “holidays”….
Because they’ve become meaningless hollow rote-endeavours bereft of any real meaning.
We’re automatons following a programmed routine of functions…and that’s about all there is.
And how long has it been this way?
Our traditions and our ideas about everything from “allowance” to the Tooth Fairy are manipulations performed on ourselves’ and on each other to reinforce the non-reality of our “beliefs” and our “traditions”.
It only makes sense logically that the business community would champion generosity at Christmas time…doesn’t it? Where is the business community when a drug rehab center needs support or a batter women’s shelter needs clothing and food? And look a little deeper into the miasma of “charity” as practiced by MacDonald’s and many other retailer/fast-food emporiums…
After selling billions upon billions of burgers and fries…does it make any sense that there are starving children in Canada? Does it make any sense that food-banks are used by three-quarters of a million Canadians?
Our traditions and our perspectives are moulded to satisfy appetites and we will not abide any interference with our “right” to have those appetites satisfied.
There is unfortunately a great deal wrong with our society and only now and then is so damning an example of how cutthroat and petty we’ve all become reached out to touch us. Recently a woman was fired at a Tim Horton’s for giving a “Tim-Bit” to a child…and this same organization wants you to spend money there during “Camp Week”….. You can feel good about spending your money at Tim Horton’s because the people who run Tim Horton’s really really care about people…………..
But it’s like I’ve said before….
We choose.
Complaining about humanity is a community service. If you complain you at least recognize an imperfection, a problem, an untruth. If you have no appreciation of the negative you have no appreciation of the positive, if you want to affect positive change you must work through negative informing aspects you cannot simply jump in with what you believe to be positively charged intentions and succeed. If you don't understand that the only way to the good is through the bad then you toil uselessly IMO. The bankers love you.
The issue DB becomes frequency.
The more that I see people try to say 'no... but... humanity IS bad and I deserve to rant about it', the more it underscores my view.
You become what is wrong with humanity when all you care to focus on is its 'wrongs'.
The constant negativity is just as disgusting a part of humanity as the constant greed or the constant war or the constant idiocy. It's just as stomach turning in large doses as someone who refuses to see anything wrong whatsoever and buries their heads in the sand. It's just as imbalanced and just as flawed, and doesn't do anymore to aid the human condition than the bubbly fluff some like to dwell in.
The instant I see the fourth or fifth post from someone explaining that humans suck, I start to tune them out, because they are doing nothing but adding to the issue.
Balance.
The more that I see people try to say 'no... but... humanity IS bad and I deserve to rant about it', the more it underscores my view.
You become what is wrong with humanity when all you care to focus on is its 'wrongs'.
The constant negativity is just as disgusting a part of humanity as the constant greed or the constant war or the constant idiocy. It's just as stomach turning in large doses as someone who refuses to see anything wrong whatsoever and buries their heads in the sand. It's just as imbalanced and just as flawed, and doesn't do anymore to aid the human condition than the bubbly fluff some like to dwell in.
The instant I see the fourth or fifth post from someone explaining that humans suck, I start to tune them out, because they are doing nothing but adding to the issue.
Balance.
Me I like humans, but there are many who do suck, big time.
You become what is wrong with humanity when all you care to focus on is its 'wrongs'.
I disagree with this statement partially because it is incomplete isn't it?
You will find many humanitarians working in the field of poverty and conflict resolution who focus almost exclusively on the negative aspects of humanity because it is the greatest good they can perform, those people are emmersed in the ills of humanity and they find the very best of humanity in the exact same places. So again the good and the bad cannot be separated. There are many philosopical explainations of that condition streaching back to the days of cave painting.:smile:
See my highlight in red. If they find the very best in humanity, if they're working in fields where humanity has fallen, rather than sitting around declaring over and over again the vast suckage of the human race, then they really aren't solely focused on the bad, are they? They're focused on fixing the bad, not declaring humanity not worth their time.
While I agree that you cannot solve a problem until you see and formulate it, unfortunately, it is not often that the people who complain the most make any effort to actually change anything. It is very often the case that while people see other perople's wrongs, they hardly notice their own. And any significant change should begin with changing yourself.
That's for sure Vereya, sometimes it is hard to shut our mouths and take constructive criticisim long enough to effect a usefull change in ourselves. Is it true that chronic complainers do not engage in work to change what they percieve to be injustices or is that just a popular misconception?
Precisely what set me off on this tangent was a poster in another forum who chronically complains about the ills of humanity, using such repetitive phrases as 'people are worthless', 'humanity sucks', 'this is why I have pets instead of friends', etc. No, that sort of attitude isn't doing squat to make humanity better. That sort of language 'humanity sucks', makes you part of the problem. Saying that 'murder sucks', 'genocide sucks', focusing on the things that piss you off, but leaving room for the things that don't, draws a striking difference between seeing the bad, and dwelling in the bad, if that makes any sense.
The chronic complainer CAN be one that does diddly fluff to change the state humanity is in, instead preferring to draw it further down through liberal doses of scorn.
Jeeez. This is interesting. A buncha whiners whining about people whining. lol
Just teasing.
I get tired of hearing people moaning and groaning about how hopeless humanity is, too. In fact I have semi-retired from listening to the news. Info-overload. Negative info-overload.
I rather enjoy people for the most part.Most are able to muse about things negative and then drop it for a while and have fun and that's when I find people delightful. I go pay my property taxes for instance, and instead of moaning about how much it is, I chat about weather or kids or tell a joke or something funny and I actually get most of the clerks smiling eventually.
Much nicer to see than the deadpan, bored, glazed looks they have when I go in. And I leave hoping that their smiles last for a while.
Just teasing.
I get tired of hearing people moaning and groaning about how hopeless humanity is, too. In fact I have semi-retired from listening to the news. Info-overload. Negative info-overload.
I rather enjoy people for the most part.Most are able to muse about things negative and then drop it for a while and have fun and that's when I find people delightful. I go pay my property taxes for instance, and instead of moaning about how much it is, I chat about weather or kids or tell a joke or something funny and I actually get most of the clerks smiling eventually.
Much nicer to see than the deadpan, bored, glazed looks they have when I go in. And I leave hoping that their smiles last for a while.
O/K now I'm understanding what you're getting at a little better, but I'm not sure we're into the same spiral.