What you are describing are all very positive and desirable qualities... But both men and women can, at least in my opinion, demonstrate these qualities. Why associate them to the male sex with the word 'manliness'? Doesn't it diminish the female sex by insinuating that someone who DOESN'T have these qualities is womanly?
Being a man
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What you are describing are all very positive and desirable qualities... But both men and women can, at least in my opinion, demonstrate these qualities. Why associate them to the male sex with the word 'manliness'? Doesn't it diminish the female sex by insinuating that someone who DOESN'T have these qualities is womanly?
Some people believe that it depends on what cultural rules you adhere to....in Canada, it gets harder and harder to define anything. Personally, I define myself by my habits. They are always subject to change.
Anytime you're attributing one type of behavior to one gender, yeah, it's sexist. If my girlfriend gave me a back thumping hug (you all know what I mean right?), and I said 'wow that was manly', it's still sexist, even if I'm only categorizing her behavior. Is it sexual harassment, or sexually limiting? No... but sexist, yes.
maybe...but i guess he would be girly...if he continuded with it....it could also be mental...Nature Nurture...all things to be considerd
So its sexist because her hug was more like a hug i would give my buddy? I guess I dont follow.
Yea I guess I see what your saying...and I suppose id be offended if someone said i was girly.
I remember one time a female friend of mine told me she was inviting my male roomate over to her place for dinner. When I asked her what she was cooking she immediatley called me a sexist pig. I was stunned. I didn't even think about it, it just seemed common sense that if you are inviting someone over to dinner, then you are making it. Anyway, she was studying Womens Studies at the time so I think it was just getting to her. It did make me think though about the stereotypes we all have of each other, and I am not just talking about gender roles.
Weakness nah...Girly no..I dont agree with that ethier..not that I cry all over the place..Crying is something more for approprite reasons though...i think its annoying for girls or guys to cry about almost everything...or things that are stupid...like the notebook...God...dont even get me started...yeah ok its touching....but damn it...its nothing to get all teary about...baaaahhhh
Hubby and I hang out with another couple here in town on a pretty regular basis, and I have to say that when we have dinner parties, it's pretty 50/50 as to which gender might be cooking. The notion that women do the cooking goes out the window pretty quickly if both people are working. What does frustrate me though, is women of my generation who choose to stay home, but won't do the cooking and cleaning alone because they've been conditioned to think the man has to help. Well, that's true, only IF both people are working. Otherwise, it's just a woman sitting at home on her ass all day, and then making her man work all evening. Not really a fair progression in my opinion.
It's a hormonal thing beyond my control, so, I can't say I don't do it. I don't WANT to get teary... but I do if I'm moved. Or tired. Or grumpy. Or happy. *sigh* I tear up at the drop of a hat. I yawn and tears run down my face for pete's sake.
I agree if the woman is home all day.. doing nothing...but tell me..what woman sits at home all day and does nothing if children are involved..... and even then there are the "manly" chores..... garbage... shoveling snow... mowing the lawn... going to the dump...the man must have his chores to bepart of the family unit.. merely bringing in a paycheque doesn't cut it in my books...
I think women have it difficult these days because they are torn between roles. Some feel guilty because they are working and not spending enough time with the kids. Some feel guilty
because they are at home with the kids and not working. In my opinion, I think women's roles changed too quickly regarding the workforce. Many are just as confused as the men, who were traditionally the bred winners of the household. But all of a sudden, the governement interfered and created these equity programs to make room for women. No one was prepared. Now, there are unemployed fathers who have been booted out of the house because they are "lazy" and there are supermoms who are taking care of the household and trying to work full time. It really is a mess. It should have been a gradual process.
Wow -great topic! Manliness. mmmmhmmmm.
It's true that it's difficult to describe what qualities determine how manly a man is. For me, it's a guy who is comfortable in his own skin - regardless of what environment or situation he finds himself in. No matter if he's scrubbing a floor, hoisting 60 lb boxes into the back of a tuck, or soothing the tears of a frightened child - if he's sure of himself, confident, true to his word, understands and lives by the concept of honour and integrity, he's a man.
I know these qualities can be just as easily seen in women, and I believe they should be - just as surely as they should for men.
Yet they do translate differently for men than women. This is a good thing to me. I love being a woman, and I love everything about men that makes them different than women. If asked to put name to it, I can't come up with anything beyond whatever primal instincts we've been blessed with that creates this amazing push/pull between men and women. It exists whether I'm in the trenches sweating over hard labour with my man, or if he's in the basement sorting laundry with me. It's not what we do that defines us, it's what we do with what we have.
Anyway, I've long held that this race to equality has done a great disservice to the differences between men and women - our differences should be cherished - not stifled, re-moulded and maimed into something unrecognizable to either gender. Trying to put word to those differences also disservices them. Somethings are just innate and should be accepted as such. imo.
It's true that it's difficult to describe what qualities determine how manly a man is. For me, it's a guy who is comfortable in his own skin - regardless of what environment or situation he finds himself in. No matter if he's scrubbing a floor, hoisting 60 lb boxes into the back of a tuck, or soothing the tears of a frightened child - if he's sure of himself, confident, true to his word, understands and lives by the concept of honour and integrity, he's a man.
I know these qualities can be just as easily seen in women, and I believe they should be - just as surely as they should for men.
Yet they do translate differently for men than women. This is a good thing to me. I love being a woman, and I love everything about men that makes them different than women. If asked to put name to it, I can't come up with anything beyond whatever primal instincts we've been blessed with that creates this amazing push/pull between men and women. It exists whether I'm in the trenches sweating over hard labour with my man, or if he's in the basement sorting laundry with me. It's not what we do that defines us, it's what we do with what we have.
Anyway, I've long held that this race to equality has done a great disservice to the differences between men and women - our differences should be cherished - not stifled, re-moulded and maimed into something unrecognizable to either gender. Trying to put word to those differences also disservices them. Somethings are just innate and should be accepted as such. imo.
I don't think it does. I think we're looking at something that doesn't have an opposite and trying to fit something into that form. Is Woman the opposite of Man? What about Boy? What about Mouse? Context is the thing. And so, it's relevant to both sexes. Other wise, we do just get down to physical differences.
Also I don't think people are diminished by what they lack. They are defined by what they possess. Wouldn't you agree?
As I see it, thinking such a thing is a weakness, is a lack of understanding the human condition.
My opinion? To be a man you need to be unaffected by the opinons of others, whether or not they find you handsome, friendly, charming or an arse. Self-reliant to the point of insane stubborness and always on the path of doing what you consider right in your heart of hearts (not that you can't change that definition through education)