Been a grim couple of weeks

[karrie]

I can imagine it would be highly frustrating Dex.

Your sister's cancer will bring about a lot of long waits. That's the nature of small cancers like that. They don't panic and rush in for surgery, and once the surgery has been done, it will take a long time to know if it was all gotten. It's backwards to what our minds are doing when we hear the word 'cancer'. We fly into panic mode. We want instant answers and instant surgeries, instant cures. But, this one doesn't work that way. We're going through it right now with one of my mom's best friends. It feels like we're running on spot while she sits and sips her coffee and waits.

I hope the lack of change in your sister-in-law bodes well Dex. I hope it's because she's resting and trying to heal. Hold out hope. It's all we can do it seems.

I wish I could make you a coffee and talk face to face Dexter.

 

[unclepercy]

Dex,

Very sorry to her about your sis and sister-in-law. You certainly know from what I have said that I sympathize with anyone who has cancer. Then, I sympathize with the care-giver who often gets forgotten. Let's remember them too.

Well, all strokes are not equal, but my pain doctor had one, is in a wheelchair, has had cancer, and she is still practicing. Her mental acuity is as good as ever, but she never got back the use of her right side. What a trooper she is...

Unc

 

[Night Safari]

You're a fairly stable and intelligent guy and that's the "plus" you have in your character ability to manage each emotional step to make it through this rough period in your life right now.
Of course it helps to know others care and they do. I do and from the number of responces here, so does everyone here.
Take strength from the love and concern of people near you and embrace it. I'm sending you and your family my very best Dexter!

 

[Dexter Sinister]

Some news, finally. My sister-in-law has been moved out of the ICU and into the general neurology ward, her condition is no longer critical. She quite clearly understands at least some of what's going on around her, one of her children mentioned playing the French horn, which she used to do, and her left hand made the gestures of working the valves. She responds to simple verbal instructions, and appears to recognize her family. Her eyes track them as they move around her, she squeezes their hands in response to their touch, she smiles at them, and responds to her name by turning toward the speaker. I haven't seen her, only her husband and children are allowed to visit her, and only for 10 minutes at a time, any longer seems to distress her. She's not talking, and she's not moving her right arm, but there are no other signs of right-side paralysis, she moves her right leg and the right side of her face hasn't sagged. My brother, her husband, remarked, "She's starting to look a little pissed off." That would be completely typical of her, she's never had any patience with her physical frailties. She's beaten some pretty long odds to get to this point, and for as long as I've known her she's been a model of courage, fortitude, and endurance, which is part of why she's so dear to me. If anyone can come back from such an injury, she can do it.

Long way to go, but grounds for hope.

 

[talloola]

Some news, finally. My sister-in-law has been moved out of the ICU and into the general neurology ward, her condition is no longer critical. She quite clearly understands at least some of what's going on around her, one of her children mentioned playing the French horn, which she used to do, and her left hand made the gestures of working the valves. She responds to simple verbal instructions, and appears to recognize her family. Her eyes track them as they move around her, she squeezes their hands in response to their touch, she smiles at them, and responds to her name by turning toward the speaker. I haven't seen her, only her husband and children are allowed to visit her, and only for 10 minutes at a time, any longer seems to distress her. She's not talking, and she's not moving her right arm, but there are no other signs of right-side paralysis, she moves her right leg and the right side of her face hasn't sagged. My brother, her husband, remarked, "She's starting to look a little pissed off." That would be completely typical of her, she's never had any patience with her physical frailties. She's beaten some pretty long odds to get to this point, and for as long as I've known her she's been a model of courage, fortitude, and endurance, which is part of why she's so dear to me. If anyone can come back from such an injury, she can do it.

Long way to go, but grounds for hope.

I love it, good news, and yes, a long way to go, but I like what's happening here, and
it seems she is tough, and will try her hardest to fight her way back. Good work.
I hope she can keep it going in this direction.

 

[karrie]

Incredible news Dex. I'm so glad to hear she is doing so well. Those are some long odds to beat. I hope she'll keep being an example of why holding out hope is not always in vain.

 

[shadowshiv]

Some news, finally. My sister-in-law has been moved out of the ICU and into the general neurology ward, her condition is no longer critical. She quite clearly understands at least some of what's going on around her, one of her children mentioned playing the French horn, which she used to do, and her left hand made the gestures of working the valves. She responds to simple verbal instructions, and appears to recognize her family. Her eyes track them as they move around her, she squeezes their hands in response to their touch, she smiles at them, and responds to her name by turning toward the speaker. I haven't seen her, only her husband and children are allowed to visit her, and only for 10 minutes at a time, any longer seems to distress her. She's not talking, and she's not moving her right arm, but there are no other signs of right-side paralysis, she moves her right leg and the right side of her face hasn't sagged. My brother, her husband, remarked, "She's starting to look a little pissed off." That would be completely typical of her, she's never had any patience with her physical frailties. She's beaten some pretty long odds to get to this point, and for as long as I've known her she's been a model of courage, fortitude, and endurance, which is part of why she's so dear to me. If anyone can come back from such an injury, she can do it.

Long way to go, but grounds for hope.

It is good to hear that her condition has improved, Dexter.:smile: Hopefully she will be able to play the French Horn again soon.

 

[quandary121]

There's always hope Dexter,you have my prayers m8

 

[Dexter Sinister]

The best news: my favourite sister had her surgery today and all seems to be well on that front. The procedure started around noon, and by 5 p.m. she was sitting up in bed issuing instructions to her husband about the care and feeding of her cats and house plants. She'll probably be back home on Saturday. The surgery went well, no surprises or complications, and the surgeon said what he removed looked exactly as he expected, very small, confined, no sign of spreading. We still have to wait a couple of weeks for the detailed pathology report to be sure, but all indications are that this one's over. Whew!

My sister-in-law: no news, really, except that she no longer seems distressed by visitors, so the 10-minute limit has been removed. She's in a lot better condition than she was a couple of weeks ago, but realistically, the chances of anyone coming back from a major haemorrhagic stroke without significant physical or cognitive impairment are pretty small. Hope springs eternal, but the odds are heavily against her. There just ain't no justice; why this most excellent woman, when there are so many knuckle-dragging mouth breathers around that nothing bad happens to? Or maybe it does and they're too dumb to notice it. But as my other favourite sister says, take care of your own business and don't expect peace or justice, just be grateful when you get them.

 

[talloola]

The best news: my favourite sister had her surgery today and all seems to be well on that front. The procedure started around noon, and by 5 p.m. she was sitting up in bed issuing instructions to her husband about the care and feeding of her cats and house plants. She'll probably be back home on Saturday. The surgery went well, no surprises or complications, and the surgeon said what he removed looked exactly as he expected, very small, confined, no sign of spreading. We still have to wait a couple of weeks for the detailed pathology report to be sure, but all indications are that this one's over. Whew!

My sister-in-law: no news, really, except that she no longer seems distressed by visitors, so the 10-minute limit has been removed. She's in a lot better condition than she was a couple of weeks ago, but realistically, the chances of anyone coming back from a major haemorrhagic stroke without significant physical or cognitive impairment are pretty small. Hope springs eternal, but the odds are heavily against her. There just ain't no justice; why this most excellent woman, when there are so many knuckle-dragging mouth breathers around that nothing bad happens to? Or maybe it does and they're too dumb to notice it. But as my other favourite sister says, take care of your own business and don't expect peace or justice, just be grateful when you get them.

That's great news, and I can see that you feel much better too, that's good all round.
I hope the best for both of them, and you too Dex.

 

[karrie]

That's wonderful news about your sister Dexter. Absolutely awesome.

As for your sister-in-law, well.... I know that I'm the annoyingly optimistic one, the one who's always looking at the worst in the world and hunting for the silver lining, so please, try not to be too annoyed if you disagree. But, just because she won't be the same doesn't mean that she won't still be incredible. We all have different facets to our minds, we all have different things to offer in life. What was most prevalent in her as far as what she put forward, and what she had to offer, may have changed, but that just means you may get to discover something new.

My sister-in-law: no news, really, except that she no longer seems distressed by visitors, so the 10-minute limit has been removed. She's in a lot better condition than she was a couple of weeks ago, but realistically, the chances of anyone coming back from a major haemorrhagic stroke without significant physical or cognitive impairment are pretty small. Hope springs eternal, but the odds are heavily against her. There just ain't no justice; why this most excellent woman, when there are so many knuckle-dragging mouth breathers around that nothing bad happens to? Or maybe it does and they're too dumb to notice it. But as my other favourite sister says, take care of your own business and don't expect peace or justice, just be grateful when you get them.

 

[Dexter Sinister]

But, just because she won't be the same doesn't mean that she won't still be incredible.

That's a good thought karrie, that frankly hadn't occurred to me. Thanks, I'll hang on to that one.

And you said you don't seem to have any of the words... You underestimate yourself.

 

[karrie]

And you said you don't seem to have any of the words... You underestimate yourself.

When it comes to the fight for life, I really am at a loss Dex. That struggle falls all to the family. The fight for recovery, well.... I wish I could say that what I'm typing is from me, but it's not. My sister used to work in brain rehabilitation, and it's her words that rang through my head, her point of view.

You see, from her perspective, she was meeting someone for the very first time when they had little to no movement, little to no function. And they would work and work and work, and throughout the rehabilitation process, she'd get to see this person be revealed bit by little bit. She'd get to meet them for the first time, and she'd come to absolutely adore who it was she was meeting.

And then the family would come in. And their loved one would still be different. And so they'd grieve (which is perfectly natural), and it would totally crush both the patient, and my sister, to have all this hard work, this clawing back from the edge, be viewed as merely a shadow of a past person, rather than the birth of a new part of them. Coming to it from ground zero gives a person a completely different perspective than coming to it having known the person a long time.

 

[Dexter Sinister]

An extraordinary, almost unbelievable, update. If I could, I'd change the thread title to "Been an amazing few weeks."

I have recently seen both my sister and my sister-in-law. They're in a different city: I'm in Regina, they're in Saskatoon, 250 km away. An easy drive, but I can't always get away whenever I'd like to. My sister is in excellent spirits, completely back to her old self, and fully confident that she's cured, it's over. My sister-in-law, while not close to that point, has made an amazing recovery. When I saw her a few days ago, she was fully conscious, lucid, and able to say simple two and three word sentences. She recognized me immediately as I approached her bed, there's no mistaking that smile and the outstretched hand. I spent about 15 minutes with her, and as I was leaving I bent over to kiss her cheek and tell her "You can do this," and she turned her head to kiss me as well, and put an arm up around my shoulders in a hug. There wasn't much strength in it, but she was clearly pulling me towards her. And today I got this note from her husband, my brother:

She has a place reserved in the rehabilitation unit and she will be transferred there as soon as a bed becomes available. I was there this afternoon when the rehab doctor interviewed her. "Can you close your eyes and stick out your tongue?" he asked. "Yes," she said, and did it. "Can you touch your left thumb against your right ear?" he asked. "Yes,"she said, and did that too. He made several other requests, which she agreed she could do, but made no attempt to perform. That's my girl, I thought, she takes orders from no one. After a few moments the doctor looked at me and said she was ready to take the next step.
​

I also had a report from one of their children that the physiotherapists are confident she will be walking and talking after she's been through the rehab process.


I didn't expect to hear anything like this for another couple of months at least. The prognosis for haemorrhagic stroke victims is usually pretty grim. I did the research in the first week after her stroke and was not encouraged (the Merck Manual, the standard reference for physicians, is online). To get to this point at all, never mind doing it so quickly, she's beaten odds of thousands to one against her. This is one tough lady. She'll be changed of course, you don't stare down the Grim Reaper without being changed, quite apart from whatever residual brain damage there may be, but I can now believe, against all odds, that we're going to get her back as herself.

 

[talloola]

An extraordinary, almost unbelievable, update. If I could, I'd change the thread title to "Been an amazing few weeks."

It feels so good to hear good news. It is proof once again how risilient the human body is, and is able to respond in ways we could never imagine.
I feel good for you, as I see that you are so encouraged by the news of both women,
and what seemed like a very dark time in your, and their lives, is now one of healing
and strength.
Keep up the good work, and for what is worth, wish them both well from me.

 

[Outta here]

Wonderful news Dexter! I'm happy for you and your favourite sister and sis-in-law. Good for both of them - I'm sure there is much relief and gratitude echoing throughout your family.

It's really incredible to see how some people can beat such frightening odds. I'm curious though - how did your sister come to believe she is cured of breast cancer so quickly? If I read your OP correctly, she was diagnosed in the early part of August? That's pretty amazing!

 

[Zzarchov]

Im glad to hear things are looking up for you and your family.

 

[Dexter Sinister]

how did your sister come to believe she is cured of breast cancer so quickly?

She had the surgery to remove it, the pathology report indicates it was tiny and confined, exactly as the surgeons expected, and all other tests are negative, there's no sign of it anywhere else and no indication of metastasis, they got it in time. That's a cure, at least of this particular occurrence.

 

[Outta here]

That is indeed good news. Sounds like she caught it early.

 

[dirtylinder]

I too have been riding a roller coaster, however mine seems to be going off the track...my good friend who I grew up next door to (her parents still live in the same house which is right next door to my Dad's place) is very ill. A few months back she developed a lump in her neck, they did tests...CANCER was the diagnosis. They did the radiation etc. but the lump wouldn't go away so they said we'll just go in and remove it...they opened her up, and promptly closed her back up...I think once the oxygen hit, it fed the problem...they are moving her to a hospice this coming week.
I am sad....but it is her parents that I worry about! She is their only daughter (their favorite one) and I don't know what to do, say or what card to buy..."get well soon" doesn't work.
My Dad is very emotional about the situation....he had a test recently and the old prostate numbers have gone from 0 to 5 sinse the last test.....now they think the hip problem he has could mean bone cancer ...he is scheduled for a bone scan... when he calls to ask about Sissy, I say shes holding her own and change the subject to how are you doing Dad...this is his 3rd bout...damn!