Boy: (spoken) Hey, who left all this garbage lying on the steps of Congress?
Amendment: (spoken) I'm not garbage.
(sung) I'm an amendment to be,
Yes, an amendment to be,
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me,
There's a lot of flag burners,
Who have got too much freedom,
I wanna make it legal,
For policemen to beat 'em,
'Cause there's limits to our liberties.
'Least I hope and pray that there are,
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far.
Boy: (spoken) But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
Amendment: (spoken) Because that law would be unconstitutional.
But if we changed the Constitution...
Boy: (spoken) Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment: (spoken) Now you're catching on!
Brief breakaway as Bart and Lisa comment on what they're seeing.
Boy: (spoken) But what if they say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Amendment: (sung) Then I'll destroy all opposition to me,
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay,
If he fights back,
I'll say that he's gay!
Fat Senator: (running up) Good news, Amendment! They ratified 'ya. You're in the U.S. Constitution!
Amendment: (spoken, estatic) Oh, yeah! Door's open, boys!
Many bills and amendments run in, behaving wildly and shooting guns; bombs fly everywhere. The crowd cheers enthusiastically as the Senator lifts the boy and the Amendment on his shoulders; both raise their hands triumphantly.
Blackboard: None.
Couch: The family comes in, but they are gray outlines. Robotic arms come in and detail them.
Quotes
"Bye, kids. On your way back, pick up a six-pack of beer." -Homer
"Oh, why can't they just take the gun?" -Homer
"Are you the creator of 'Hi and Lois?' Because you are making me laugh." -comic book guy
"Mom, there's a weird smell and a lot of cursing coming from the basement...and Dad's upstairs" -Lisa
"Look out Itchy. He's Irish!"-Bart and Milhouse
"Well we got plenty of heresay conjecture, those
are kinds of evidence"-Hutz
(Bart and Lisa watch the Schoolhouse Rock rip-off)
Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It's one of those campy '70s throwbacks that appeal to Generation-Xers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to out their ranks a little.
"Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go! go! for the good of the city!" - Comic Book Guy
Lisa: So it's true: some cartoons do encourage violence.
(punches Bart)
Bart: Ow! We gotta get Itchy & Scratchy back.
Lisa: And soon.