Accidental Blast During Bomb-Making Class Kills 30 Taliban Fighters

Ron in Regina

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Accidental Blast During Bomb-Making Class Kills 30 Taliban Fighters

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A group of Taliban jihadists gathered at a mosque in the village of Qultaq on February 13 to receive training on how to assemble bombs and improvised explosive devices (IED).

The Taliban has not commented on the incident. Such accidental explosions are fairly common in war-torn Afghanistan. A similar blast occurred at a mosque in Balkh’s Chahabar Bolak district in August.

At least they're not claiming a wedding broke out before the blasts & are blaming it on Western Infidel Decadence. How many virgins does one get for accidentally blowing up your own mosque anyway?
 

Ron in Regina

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Seriously though, does just the guy who accidentially blew up the mosque get 72 virgins (?) & the rest get "participation stickers" or do all 30 each get 72 virgins for a total for 2,160 virgins (?) and would there be bonus points for the mosque? Do these 30 guys have to split 72 virgins amongst them, or is there some other option? Do the 29 other guys split 72 virgins & the guy who blew up the mosque have to watch from the closet while wearing boxing gloves & a clown nose? There's a real theological question here. What if these 30 guys where in fact virgins themselves? Would they (& 42 others) end up being the reward for some other guy blowing himself up?
 

petros

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The belief that the Koran promises 72 virgins in heaven for Muslim martyrs is the result of a monumental "mistranslation," according to Islam scholar Irshad Manji, who claims that these individuals are, instead, offered "raisins" after death.

"Nowhere in the Koran does it promise 72 virgins, 70 virgins, 48 virgins. What it promises, as far as heaven goes, is something lush," Manji told CNN's Fareed Zakaria. "The Arabic word for virgin has been mistranslated. The original word that was used in the Koran was the word for 'raisin,' not 'virgin.' In other words, that martyrs would get raisins in heaven, not virgins."

Manji, who made this claim last month during a CNN special titled, "Why They Hate Us," cited "several scholars" who she said have investigated this issue and concluded that the word "raisin" is a more appropriate Koranic fit:
 

Tecumsehsbones

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Seriously though, does just the guy who accidentially blew up the mosque get 72 virgins (?) & the rest get "participation stickers" or do all 30 each get 72 virgins for a total for 2,160 virgins (?) and would there be bonus points for the mosque? Do these 30 guys have to split 72 virgins amongst them, or is there some other option? Do the 29 other guys split 72 virgins & the guy who blew up the mosque have to watch from the closet while wearing boxing gloves & a clown nose? There's a real theological question here. What if these 30 guys where in fact virgins themselves? Would they (& 42 others) end up being the reward for some other guy blowing himself up?
Fuckups get 72 ugly, woke virgins.

 

Ron in Regina

"Voice of the West" Party
Apr 9, 2008
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The belief that the Koran promises 72 virgins in heaven for Muslim martyrs is the result of a monumental "mistranslation," according to Islam scholar Irshad Manji, who claims that these individuals are, instead, offered "raisins" after death.

"Nowhere in the Koran does it promise 72 virgins, 70 virgins, 48 virgins. What it promises, as far as heaven goes, is something lush," Manji told CNN's Fareed Zakaria. "The Arabic word for virgin has been mistranslated. The original word that was used in the Koran was the word for 'raisin,' not 'virgin.' In other words, that martyrs would get raisins in heaven, not virgins."

Manji, who made this claim last month during a CNN special titled, "Why They Hate Us," cited "several scholars" who she said have investigated this issue and concluded that the word "raisin" is a more appropriate Koranic fit:
Those better be some pretty awesome raisins if these dudes are willing to die for them....or they must reaaaally like raisins.
 

Ron in Regina

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Wait! Was raisin period slang for something else ??? I like raisins as much as anyone else but I'M NOT GOING TO KILL someone for a handful of raisins in the afterlife. What do these folks plan to do with/to these raisins that make them worth killing for?
 
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Tecumsehsbones

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Wait! Was raisin period slang for something else ??? I like raisins as much as anyone else but I'M NOT GOING TO KILL someone for a handful of raisins in the afterlife. What do these folks plan to do with/to these raisins that make them worth killing for?
Turns out when Osama bin Laden got to the afterlife, he was looking around when he was approached by George Washington, who punched him in the face, knocking him down, and said "This is for what you did to my beloved country!" As Osama lay on the ground gasping, Thomas Jefferson approached and kicked him in the belly, shouting "This is for what you did to my people!" In pain, trying to get his breath, Osama was approached by James Madison, who stomped on his face and shouted "This is for what you did to our freedoms!" As Osama looked blearily around, he saw a long line of men in 18th-century garb, all lined up for a shot at him. Osama cried out "O Allah, the benevolent, the merciful, you promised me 72 virgins as a reward for my holy martyrdom!"

A thundering voice from above replied "You misread the text. I promised you 72 Virginians."
 

taxslave

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"Pay attention class. I am only going to demonstrate this once".

As for the virgins, that was a poor translation. It is actually a 72 year old virgin. And Allah didn't specify the sex.
 
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NZDoug

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Rhese guys were poorly trained by the CIA if they cant get basic shit together.
Some body pass me a Stinger missile.
There were over 2700 aerial strikes, mostly drones, between 2016 and 2020, by USA military and CIA.
It always sounds cool to give it a comedy factor.
Civilian deaths are collateral damage.
🤡💥🔥☠️