5. A Turkey Sandwich
According to an emergency room doctor: “A morbidly obese man with a large abdominal pannus (the overhanging image above) came in exhibiting red, irritated skin around the abdomen.
It looked like a routine skin infection. But what was the cause? During the exam, I lifted the pannus and a turkey sandwich fell from between his folds.
The man said it was about a month old, which the smell confirmed.”
4. Loose Change
According to an RN: “We got a lady who was admitted because her many decubiti needed debriding (aka, her bedsores needed to be treated). She had several of them, and was so fat, she was as wide as she was tall. I took all of her clothes off and prepared to dress and document all of her wounds.
Part of her abdomen and one of her breasts were greenish; I thought she had a fungus or something. I started wiping it off and followed it up to a skin fold, where I found . . . a quarter, a dime, and a penny–that was oxidizing and was turning her skin green. There were perfectly round sores underneath each coin. The smell was lovely too.”
3. A Packet of Duck Sauce, other stuff
Perhaps MacGuyver put on a few pounds. According to a hospital worker: “A 600+ lb woman comes in. It takes 8 people to transfer her from the ambulance stretcher to the bed. When removing said patient’s clothing from her, in the folds of her abdomen, we find: a paperclip, a plastic fork and a package of duck sauce.”
2. A Couch (Yes, a couch)
According to a Stuart, Florida news station: “Gayle Laverne Grinds, 40, died Wednesday, after a failed six-hour effort to dislodge her from the couch in her home. Workers say the home was filthy, and Grinds was too large to get up from the couch to even use the bathroom.
Everyone going inside the home had to wear protective gear. The stench was so powerful they had to blast in fresh air.
Emergency workers had to remove some sliding glass doors and lift the couch, with Grinds still on it, to a trailer behind a pickup truck. Removing her from the couch would be too painful, since her body was grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin had literally become one with the sofa and had to be surgically removed.
She died at Martin Memorial Hospital South, still attached to the couch.”
1. Pot
According to a Jacksonville, Florida (it’s always Florida) news station: “Officers said Cedric Webb, 25, was at the Montgomery Correctional Center on the Northside on Friday night when officers searching for contraband told him to lift his shirt.
According to the police report, when Webb raised his shirt, the officer saw two bags of marijuana and tobacco tucked into his stomach fat.
Investigators said the drugs then fell to the ground.
The report said Webb would not explain how he got the banned substances into the facility.
The arrest report describes Webb as 6 feet 2 inches tall and 290 pounds and his build as ‘heavy.’”
