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Call the WAAAAHmbulance.

Look, mate, some old drag queen dripping oil on your head is no basis for a system of government! If I went around claiming I was Emperor because some antiquated cross-dresser emptied a fry-pan of grease on my knob, they'd put me away!

Brits always were slow to pick up on technology.

Now THAT, ladies and germs, is one butthurt Brit!

You thought "Alexandra" was likely to be a man's name? And, as Blackie points out, M Petri found out that little detail before you did. Typical ignorant Canuck.

Why. . . why. . . this is as bad as when he made half of the flag Liberal red!

I'd try to change your mind, but why bother? Ain't like your government has much effect on me. Enjoy your hate.

Totally. Don't Brits know how to riot?

So shut it all down. Go back to one Mountie per square forever. There's a perfectly legitimate (and complicated and detailed) discussion to be had on the role and performance of government. Sadly, it's always derailed by some knuckle-dragging moron shouting slogans and drenching his hearers...

I guess we could also shut down meat inspection, food and drug safety, motor vehicle licensing, and air traffic control. To name a few.

Seems to me the best way to not be under constant government watch would be to shut down all police agencies.

Will he wear his mother's dress, or his father's?

Would that be a good thing or a bad thing?

"God damn it, Maverick!"

Voila!

By Alexandra Petri Everything I read about the monarchy in Britain bewilders me and fills me with confusion. I keep seeing headlines like “King Not Greeted With Expected Lamprey Pie (He Would Find It Distasteful to Be Presented With Lampreys Under the Circumstances),” and I have to ask the...

Hunh. Who knew they had a magic show? Pulling 'em out of a hat'd be funnier.

Woulda been better if Peter Cook had played the Archbishop.

Hope they don't have any ordnance hanging. Accidents happen.

Hmm. . . gotta get me one of them "Not My King" protest signs. Cuz, see, in my case, it's not a protest. Just a fact. Maybe all the people holding those signs should be detained and investigated on suspicion of illegal entry.