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Cuz they wanna get some. . . candy.

Your Halloween costume is offensive. Whatever it is.

Looks like Anthony's Wiener has struck again! Computer seized in Weiner probe prompts FBI to take new steps in Clinton email inquiry By Rosalind S. Helderman, Matt Zapotosky and Sari Horwitz October 28 at 4:14 PM Newly discovered emails found on a computer seized during an investigation...

Liberals are preparing blacklists of appointees they want Clinton to avoid By John Wagner and Elise Viebeck October 28 at 6:00 AM Liberal advocacy groups are preparing blacklists of candidates for appointments to a Hillary Clinton administration, with one organization even producing...

Wait. . . you're saying a game (entertainment by definition) should take precedence over commerce? Exactly what do you think entertainment is? (Hint: it's part of commerce.)

Americans adopted this South Korean man when he was 3. Now 41, he’s being deported. By Travis M. Andrews October 28 Adam Crapser was born in South Korea, but, when he was 3 years old, an American couple adopted him. Until recently, he lived in Vancouver, Wash., with his daughters and his...

From the "Nice To Be White" files: Jury acquits leaders of armed takeover of the Oregon wildlife refuge of federal conspiracy charges...

An NFL team based in soccer-crazed London? It could happen. https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/an-nfl-team-based-in-soccer-crazed-london-it-could-happen/2016/10/26/e029a905-6ad8-4eca-9f67-196b7cbe2c1d_story.html?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_nfllondon917pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory Call 'em the...

Whatever you perceive their job to be. Me, I don't think we have any pressing problems that require Congressional action right now, except the one thing nobody's even talking about any more. If we don't balance the budget, we're doomed. But there's no point in barking about it. Ain't nobody...

Will Dick Johnson be joining in the complaint?

My costume's real easy. It's just my regular clothes with my fly unzipped and a potato hanging out of it. When people ask, I tell 'em I'm a dick-tater.

Mars lander lost on its descent, ESA confirms Mars lander lost on its descent, ESA confirms Meanwhile, the Martian Embassy confirms that it has asked the London Metropolitan Police to issue an Anti-Social Behaviour Order against Whitehall for dumping trash in the neighbour's garden.

British ghosts can, because they're the greatest ghosts in history!

We prefer the term "Northern Ohio Drunken Savages."

As I've said repeatedly, Brits are retarded.

I'm not sure laughing is necessarily a sign of "freaking out."

Whadda they got against pretzels? I calculate damn near everything is "confusing for Muslim consumers," considering the undiluted pigsh*t they consume as their religion.

stGhjokq57U Now we're blushing. Y'all're right nice.

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An Icelandic lawmaker breast-fed her baby while giving a parliamentary speech — and no one cared...