Gay Public Displays of Affection

[MikeyDB]

Vereya

Greetings!

You're pretty clearly on the side that public display of affection is wrong, and I'm interested in why you feel that way. It's unlikely that there will be a very broad spectrum of response to the question but do you think there's any correlation between your age and your perspective? Would I be way off the mark if I suggested that older folk might relate the choice to publicly demonstrate their affection...or what passes for affection for someone else....as an act of desperation? A kind of "coming-out" a-la..."see I really honestly do have genunine feelings for you and I'm willing to demonstrate those feelings in public because I don't care what anyone else thinks about the way I feel about you..."?

When we were younger, the "money-shot" was when Clark Gable or Bogart planted a big one on the lips of their co-stars ... at the train station at the bar at the race track etc. and we perhaps conceptualized this observation as the closest we were ever to get to explicit sexual overture in public....because of the times in which we lived?

My interest is in trying to understand the nearly desperate effort being made by youngsters today to demonstrate that they have feelings...that they are capable of something other than texting on a Blackberry or "Like totally talking on the cell... (phone)...

Same-sex couples spontaneously engaging in physical exchanges are perhaps an act of defiance.....

Lots of questions.....but truthfully not an earth-shattering kind of consideration by any stretch of the imagination....

Just voyeuristic interest perhaps...

 

[MikeyDB]

Praxius

I agree with your sentiments in regard to this matter, and wonder why the world didn't fall into chaos back when mini-skirts were worn! We have it seems less concerns over inappropriate physical contact of the aggressive variety than we do with contact that appears to invite consideration of our sexual nature....

People are afraid....

I wonder why................

 

[karrie]

Karrie

That's what I asked about wasn't it? I'm indifferent to your personal "take" on the issue, but very interested in why people "think" or "react" the way they do. Not jumping on your case Karrie, but interested in why...

I think part of it has to do with us categorizing what we're doing in a day, and that we've been taught that thoughts of sexuality have a specific time, place, and manner, and shouldn't be cluttering up our day to day. So, walking through the park with the kids, or having lunch with grandma, for us to suddenly be put in mind of sex (even if something wasn't overtly sexual), is disconcerting for us. It's out of place, not where we've allotted it space in our lives.

 

[hermanntrude]

Because once you begin to think about it........it's public...... already shared..... does it not then welcome any and all reaction if they are within reason? What are the limits?

what about ugliness? that's public, and unpleasant to see, but you can't really say that it should be banned in public. the difference, I suppose, is that you can't help ugliness. What about pulling faces? or sniffing? there's a while bunch of things which you can do in public but annoys other people. the only way around it really is to avoid being annoyed by them because no-one's gonna ban them all and even if they do, some people will still do it.

 

[Vereya]

You're pretty clearly on the side that public display of affection is wrong, and I'm interested in why you feel that way. It's unlikely that there will be a very broad spectrum of response to the question but do you think there's any correlation between your age and your perspective? Would I be way off the mark if I suggested that older folk might relate the choice to publicly demonstrate their affection...or what passes for affection for someone else....as an act of desperation? A kind of "coming-out" a-la..."see I really honestly do have genunine feelings for you and I'm willing to demonstrate those feelings in public because I don't care what anyone else thinks about the way I feel about you..."?

Greetings, Mikey!
You've made some really interesting comments, thank you!
You know, I think that any relationship is a very private thing. There should be only two people in it, as it concerns only two people. I think that everyone would agree that quarreling in public is very bad taste for a couple. Showing mutual affection is the same thing, it's only got a different polarity. If you are in a harmonious relationship, you don't need to convince people that you have a good relationship. If two people are happy together, they don't need to show it publicly. A public display of affection, in my mind, is a sign of insecurity. If you are insecure about a relationship - work on it. Kissing in public, and demonstrating to people that you two are the happiest couple ever is not a way to work on a relationship, quite the contrary. It's a way to avoid that work, a way of hiding from an issue, and it's no good at all. It leads you nowhere. And I do not believe that such public displays are founded on any actual affection. If two people are really emotionally attached to each other, they have no problem with manifesting that attachment in private. Public demonstrations are more of a show, than the real thing.

 

[Canaduh]

Women doing the same on the other hand prompted men to stand and stare, and even introduce themselves.

I honestly have to admit I would too.

 

[Andem]

Wow. Such a topic would not have even come up here in Central Europe.. it's simply a non-issue both with hetero- and homesexual couples or threesomes or foursomes! Bavaria and Austria be the sore thumbs of the lot.

As a member of the younger generation, I honestly don't care who's making out, kissing or touching -- to a certain degree -- in public.

I think it has to do with age and tradition, really. As we become more of an open and liberal-minded society, religion plays less and less of a role in daily life and tradition; politics are still high on the mind but it's still a liberal-style political thought which ravages the psychic of the average person.

I can't believe two guys or two girls sitting on a bench being affectionate to eachother has even created any kind of stir at all.

 

[hermanntrude]

I can't believe two guys or two girls sitting on a bench being affectionate to eachother has even created any kind of stir at all.

one thing i'm learning now is that north america is lagging behind a bit in things like this. The other day a takeout food store called mary brown's advertised their food with the phrase "hail mary". the catholics in town have asked that it be taken down.

 

[Canaduh]

one thing i'm learning now is that north america is lagging behind a bit in things like this. The other day a takeout food store called mary brown's advertised their food with the phrase "hail mary". the catholics in town have asked that it be taken down.

Its a double edged sword tho... America may be a lot more restrictive on sex in the media and daily life (even though socal produces most of the worlds porn). Europe is a lot more restrictive on violence and guns laws, its not uncommon to see nudity starting at 7-8pm on free to air European channels.

 

[MikeyDB]

Again I ask....

People are afraid.....why?

 

[s_lone]

I can't believe two guys or two girls sitting on a bench being affectionate to eachother has even created any kind of stir at all.

Same here... I just don't get what's the big deal... Montreal seems to be a bit more on the european side of things because that kind of thing is a non-issue here... Of course, that's not to say all Montrealers have no problems with gay people... But someone demonstrating anti-gay behavior in Montreal would be more likely to get frowned upon than the gay couple demonstrating affection.

 

[s_lone]

Public demonstrations are more of a show, than the real thing.

I'm sure some people will do it for the show... but not everyone who does it. There is such a thing kissing for the sake of kissing, with ''being in public'' a non-issue.

 

[EagleSmack]

it wasn't even 100 years ago that our own societies we're stuck up and freaked over women exposing their ankles at the beach and had to dress up like Ronald MacDonald.

SOOOO true. I love the films of women at the beach during the turn of the century. Some even had stockings on as they swam. I am surprised more of them didn't drown with all the clothing they were wearing.

 

[Praxius]

Public affection not a big deal?

Tell you what.... the moment I'm allowed to walk down the street naked will be the moment I don't tell other's to get a room.... that's my deal and I'm stickin to it.

 

[Praxius]

SOOOO true. I love the films of women at the beach during the turn of the century. Some even had stockings on as they swam. I am surprised more of them didn't drown with all the clothing they were wearing.

All in the name of modesty and being lady-like.

My level of modesty and being lady-like is for the woman to get naked and do a little groove'thang on my face.

 

[gerryh]

Public affection not a big deal?

Tell you what.... the moment I'm allowed to walk down the street naked will be the moment I don't tell other's to get a room.... that's my deal and I'm stickin to it.

I see you only believe in extremes.

 

[Praxius]

I see you only believe in extremes.

Only in extreme cases

It was a joke. But yeah.... Down with regulatory clothing!

 

[Zzarchov]

Why are sexual acts (even if only minorly ones) less of an extreme than nudity?

Many people are able to live a life where nudity is not related to sexuality. Seems like a bad example to me,

Why the shame for the human form?

 

[Sal]

Well topless is legal here, so I wonder if it would garner the same types of reaction if a woman and man sat on a park bench chatting and both were topless....

I remember a few years ago on the May 24 weekend a couple of young girls tested the limit by riding in their convertible on the 401 and they were topless. They were stopped and told no one could make them cover up.......not legally, but it would contribute to highway safety if t would do so voluntarily. Everyone was gawking....

 

[Vereya]

Well topless is legal here, so I wonder if it would garner the same types of reaction if a woman and man sat on a park bench chatting and both were topless....

I remember a few years ago on the May 24 weekend a couple of young girls tested the limit by riding in their convertible on the 401 and they were topless. They were stopped and told no one could make them cover up.......not legally, but it would contribute to highway safety if t would do so voluntarily. Everyone was gawking....

Well, of course everyone would be gawking! This kind of thing is not regulated by legislation, it's regulated by human instincts and impulses. A half naked woman is instinctively perceived by the men as asking for sex. If she runs into serious trouble, she'll have no one to blame, but herself. This kind of behavior is going to be safe only after all the human beings learn total control of their instincts. I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon :smile: