Quotes that make the Left look Foolish

gopher

Hall of Fame Member
Jun 26, 2005
21,513
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48
Minnesota: Gopher State
You must be Flossy's American cousin. :lol:



Eh??

 

Bar Sinister

Executive Branch Member
Jan 17, 2010
8,252
19
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Edmonton

OpposingDigit

Electoral Member
Aug 27, 2017
903
0
16
Every Ideology Is Right
I've come to believe that every ideology is right. Liberalism is right, conservatism is right, radicalism is right, fascism is right, communism is right, Catholicism is right, Rastafarianism is right, Pastafarianism is right. Any ideology that survives more than ten minutes in the ferocious Planet Earth laboratory is right.
What I mean by "right" is that is each one is responding to a genuine problem within human existence. And their prescriptions for how to deal with that problem "work," at least in the short term in limited circumstances.
Obviously, there are unforeseen consequences because each ideology looks at a limited aspect of reality, and then tries to apply its solution for that part of reality to ALL of reality. The important thing is to try to have your ideology "look" at as much of reality as possible.
When you're dealing with people with other ideologies than your own, it's difficult not to try to persuade them they're wrong. But you can't, because their ideology does correspond to some of their direct, lived reality. They're not just imagining it. And they'll fight hard against any attempt to tell them they haven't experienced what they've experienced. So instead of telling them they're wrong, you have to demonstrate that they're only seeing part of the picture.
That's the theory, anyway. It seems to work as much as 2% of the time.
--Jonathan Schwarz, October 07, 2009--
A Tiny Revolution

Republican Dictionary
February 10, 2005

Activist Judge: A judge who attempts to protect the rights of minorities--most especially homosexuals--against the tyranny of the majority.

Alarmist: Any respected scientist who understands the threat of global warming.

Allies: These are foreign government officials who accept and follow anything that Republicans demand, even if detrimental to their respective nations.

Alternative Energy Resources: New locations to drill for oil and gas.

American Interests: Anything that would benefit the financial needs, assets and wealth of US big corporations to the complete exclusion of American people’s interests, like in the case of invading Afghanistan and Iraq to protect “American interests.”

Balanced: 1. favoring corporations (more balanced approach to the environment.); 2. favoring conservatives (fair and balanced reporting).

Belief in Jesus Christ: This refers merely to a “symbolic” type of belief, twisted by Republicans to suit their political agenda. For example, Republicans refuse to accept Jesus’ warning to “put the sword away because he who kills by the sword will die by the sword.” The love and compassion that Jesus advocates for all people is demonstrated only to those who demonstrate themselves to be faithful followers of Republican leaders and the Republican agenda.

Bi-Partisanship: When conservative Republicans work together with moderate Republicans to pass legislation Democrats hate.

Civil Liberties: Unnecessary privileges that you aren't afraid of losing unless you are a God-hating, baby-killing, elitist liberal who loves Saddam Hussein more than your own safety.

Clarify: Repeating the same lie over and over again.

Class Warfare: Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.

Clean: The word used to modify any aspect of the environment that Republican legislation allows corporations to pollute, poison, or destroy.

Climate Change: Global warming, without that annoying suggestion that something is wrong.

Coalition: One or more nations, whose leaders have been duped, pressured or bribed into supporting ill-conceived, unnecessary, under-planned and/or illegal US military operations.

Collateral Damage: This refers to tens of thousands of innocent people killed brutally with American weapons in both Afghanistan and Iraq ; however, Americans killed in the process of the war are viewed as victims.

Conviction: Making decisions before getting the facts, and refusing to change your mind afterwards.

Courage: The ability to be arrogant to the highest level imaginable by pursuing actions even if they were to be detrimental, illegal and against the will of an entire population.

Criminal: Anyone, domestic or foreign, who opposes the Republican agenda.

Death Tax: A term invented by anti-tax zealots and referring to a tax used to prevent the very wealthy from establishing a dominating aristocracy in this country.

Democracy: A government by the rich and for the rich, where everything is done to benefit the financial interest of US big corporations, which control the government. This is technically known as plutocracy. Democracy is also used to mean a puppet government installed by a carefully manipulated US political plan to bring a nation under full control of American big corporations, like installation of democracy in Iraq .

Democratic Ally: Any democracy, monarchy, plutocracy, oligarchy or dictatorship--no matter how ruthless--that verbally supports American diplomatic and economic goals.

Deregulate: To pursue greed and exploitation.

Detain: Hold anyone at will in a secret place without recourse to law while, at the same time treating that person as sadistically as one may wish.

Diplomacy: A strategy that would make people believe what you want them to believe and to see what you want them to see.

Economic Progress: 1. Recession; 2. Rising unemployment; 3. Minimum-wage freeze.

Economic Recovery: When three out of five software engineers who lost their high-paying jobs are able to find part-time work at Wall-Mart.

Election Fraud: Counting every vote.

Environment: Giving big US corporations the green light to do what they wish to boost their respective products, even if that were to pollute the air and water with deadly toxic wastes top the detriment of people’s lives.

Faith: The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary.

Faith-Based Initiative: Christian Right Payoff.

Faith Community: Evangelicals, because they are saved, and hawkish conservative Jews, because they are useful. Israel is the bait-on-the-hook just waiting for God to take that Rapturous bite.

Family Values: Low regard of women, promotion of war everywhere under the pretext of protecting the American nation, viewing as enemy or dangerous anyone who does not espouse the Republican brand of morality.

Fiscal Conservative: A Republican who is in the minority.

Fox News: The White House Press Office.

Freedom: Creation of periodical chaos among people so that, through western military intervention, governments could be overthrown, their population be brought under western type of control, and the respective nation’s resources go to benefit those that instigated the governmental overthrow. People are then asked to elect their representatives “freely,” which would amount to the installation of a puppet government.

Freedom Fighters: Foreign young men who try to overthrow their government under the direction of American agents, like it was with the case of Nicaragua, Guatemala, Chile and several other countries. The videotapes: “ School of Assassins ” and “Arms for the Poor” bring this into full focus.

Free Market System: The sacrosanct right for business people to produce any product they want and to sell it at any price they wish. Such products may include guns and lethal weapons, the promotion of pornography and classic violence on Television.

Friends: All those who are sympathetic to Republican policies and who accept such policies without raising any single question.

Growth: The justification for tax cuts for the rich. What happens to the deficits when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.

Hard Work: What Republicans say when they can't think of anything better.

Healthy Forests: No tree left behind.

Heroism: Those who perform heinous crimes as inspired by Republican leadership are viewed as good Americans that should be hailed for their acts of heroism.

Honesty: Lies told in simple declarative sentences: "Freedom is on the march."

Human Rights: Accepting willingly all limitations set on you by the Republican leadership in relation to what you can do and where you could go, like the prohibition for Americans to travel in certain countries that would include Cuba and North Korea, in addition to others.

Humbled: What a Republican says right after a close election and right before he governs in an arrogant manner.

Insurgent: Armed or unarmed, violent or non-violent Iraqis on the receiving end of an American rocket blast or bullet spray, regardless of age, gender or political affiliation.

International Criminal Court: Although supported by the United Nations, Republicans are opposed to it because they would not want any entity above them to dictate what is right and wrong, what is morally acceptable or not, and what international laws should be observed by all means. What Republicans say must always be final.

Job Growth: Increased number of jobs an individual has to take after losing earlier high-paying job.

Leadership: Making decisions and carrying them out at will regardless as to whether they may be beneficial or detrimental to the people. Republican leadership requires people to follow orders with no questions raised.

Liberation: Invading a nation by unlawful means to take control over its rich natural resources under the guise of freeing the people from their government, like the “liberation” of Iraq .

Moral Values: The belief that once you proclaim yourself to be against abortion and profess belief in marriage unity, you may then disregard all traditional moral laws, like do not say lies, do not kill, do not destroy the property of others, etc.

Mandate: What a Republican claims to possess when only 49 percent of the voting public loathes him instead of 51 percent.

Military Aid: Way of promoting the lethal products of the weapons industry, the US most lucrative business of all big corporations, no matter how detrimental this may be to the peace and security of a nation’s people.

Military Strength: This is based on the belief that a nation with a big military that is equipped with the most sophisticated and devastating weapons in the world, should make that nation safe. Everything else is viewed as marginal or of secondary importance and that would include the people’s health care and education.

Modernize: To do away with, as in modernizing Social Security, labor laws, etc.

Neo-Conservatives: Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.

News Media: Immoral elitist liberally-biased traitors who should leave Republicans alone so they can complete God's work on Earth in peace and quiet, behind closed doors.

Obstructionist: Any elected representative who dares to question Republican radicals on the issue of the day.

Office of Faith-Based Initiatives: Christian Right payoff.

Ownership Society: A society in which Republican donors own the rest of us.

Patriotism: This refers to total blind support and execution of what Republican leaders dictate. If they order US soldiers to enter into a city and literally kill everyone they come across, including children, women, the elderly and the sick, such atrocious acts would be viewed as acts of patriotism.

Peace: This is viewed as a tricky devise of potential terrorists. For extreme conservative Republicans, anyone who speaks of peace or of trying to promote peace is a terrorist and must be viewed as a suspect. This is proven by the fact that quite a few peace activists that included Roman Catholic priests and nuns were arrested and jailed.

Philosophy: In Republican terminology this simply means Religion.

Political Capital: What a Republican president receives as a result of a razor-thin margin of victory in an election.

Press Conference: A rare event designed for the President to brag about his prowess as a leader while simultaneously dodging difficult questions.

Privatize: To steal the resources of the national community and give them to private business.

Reform: Rollback of New Deal reforms, laws, standards and social protections; also, to eliminate, as in tort reform (to eliminate all lawsuits against businesses and corporations) or Social Security and Medicate reform (to eliminate these programs altogether).

Reliability: This quality is found in all those who submit themselves to everything Republicans propose and want. They are usually known as “yes” men, mere faithful servants of the Republican establishment.

Resolute: Pig-headed.

Sacredness of Life: This is referred only from the moment of human conception up to the moment of birth. After birth, life ceases to be sacred for all practical purposes, like we have witnessed in Iraq where the massacre of innocent people was merely referred to as collateral damage, just a like they were a piece of furniture.

Safe World: Establishment of unlimited military bases across every continent while equipping as many nations as possible with “military aid”, that is, with weapons of total devastation and destruction, instead of food, medicine, educational material and pre-fabricated homes for the homeless.

Simplify Taxes: To cut the taxes of Republican donors.

Slave: A person without legal rights and that would include the fetus since he is not technically recognized as a person by law.

Small Business Owner: Rich person.

Social Security Reform: Leave no Wall Street broker behind. Passing the social security in the hands of a private insurance company whose ultimate goal is not to help Americans but to fleece them out of every single dollar they can, thus making them earn less and less for their survival.

Sound Foreign Policy: The invasion of any sovereign nation whose leadership Republicans don't like.

Space Exploration: Replacing our last peaceful frontier with the creation of war zone in space by putting numerous weapons of mass destruction orbiting over our planet on a 24 hour daily basis.

Stability: This may be described as smoothness in operation within a nation in accordance with the wishes and dictates of big corporations, even if detrimental to the people.

Staying the Course: The act of being stubborn and unable to admit glaring policy mistakes; being wrong and sticking with the wrong idea regardless of the consequences.

Strict Constructionist: A judge with extremely conservative beliefs, who interprets laws in a manner that fits his/her own belief systems, while maintaining that this was the original intent of the law.

Supporting the Military: To praise Bush when he sends American young men and women off to die for no reason and without proper body armor.

Suspect: One who criticizes the Republican agenda.

Tax Reform: The shifting of the tax burden from unearned income to earned income, or rather, from the wealthy elite to the working class.

Tax Simplification: A way to make it simpler for large US corporations to export American jobs to avoid paying US taxes.

Tort Reform: Corporate immunity and impunity.

Tyranny: This refers especially to any head of a foreign government who refuses to let US big corporations to exploit the resources of his country. Such a head of state is viewed as tyrant, like with the case of Castro of Cuba and Chavez of Venezuela, even though such heads of state might have provided to their people free health care, free education, and free housing facilities and adequate nourishment.

United Nations: A bunch of governments representing various global areas which are hopeless and helpless unless they seek to co-operate with the interests of US big corporations through the titular figure of the US government.

Uniting Leader: A leader who brings together his followers by fomenting hatred for anyone who disagrees with him.

Very Clear: Modifier used immediately before any preposterous explanation or rationale.

Victims of Terrorism: This refers mostly to the 3,000 Americans that were killed during the attack on the twin towers in New York by foreign young agents. This does not apply to the tens of thousands of innocent people in both Afghanistan and Iraq killed brutally with American weapons.

War: Taking the initiative to attack any country of the Republican’s choice even without warning and without any given reason whatsoever. The ultimate goal of war is the promotion of the weapons business, which often finances national political campaigns.

Welcoming New Ideas: Repeating with precision but in different words the same identical ideas expressed by the Republican leadership

http://www.thenation.com/blogs/edcut?pid=1994
http://www.thenation.com/blogs/edcut?pid=2045
 

JamesBondo

House Member
Mar 3, 2012
4,158
37
48
No wonder the left seeks to avoid political debate at all costs. Why bother? Members of the left are not interested in having a debate about policy. They are not interested in debating what is right or wrong for the country. They are interested in debating you personally. They are interested in castigating you as a nasty human being because you happen to disagree. This is what makes leftists leftists: an unearned sense of moral superiority over you. And if they can instill that sense of moral superiority in others by making you the bad guy, they will.

Ben Shapiro
 

OpposingDigit

Electoral Member
Aug 27, 2017
903
0
16
No wonder the left seeks to avoid political debate at all costs. Why bother? Members of the left are not interested in having a debate about policy. They are not interested in debating what is right or wrong for the country. They are interested in debating you personally. They are interested in castigating you as a nasty human being because you happen to disagree. This is what makes leftists leftists: an unearned sense of moral superiority over you. And if they can instill that sense of moral superiority in others by making you the bad guy, they will.

Ben Shapiro
The Fourteen Words Never To Use
February 28, 2005

Frank Luntz is an expert at the politics of Orwell -- that is, using language to
manipulate the people's opinions through nothing more than the words he
tells politicians to use.

His latest release is a 160 page briefing book on how the Republicans should
be framing the arguments to selectively deceive the American people and
appeal in turn to our best and worst qualities.

Without further ado, Frank Luntz's commentary on how stupid we all are, and
how easy it is to deceive us using nothing more than DoubleSpeak:

Appendix:- The Fourteen Words Never To Use

Sometimes it is not what you say that matters but what you don't say.

Other times a single word or phrase can undermine or destroy the credibility
of a paragraph or entire presentation.This memo was originally prepared
exclusively for Congressional spouses because they are your eyes and ears, a
one-person reality check and truth squad combined. However, by popular
demand, I have included and expanded that document because effectively
communicating the New American Lexicon requires you to STOP saying words and
phrases that undermine your ability to educate the American people.
So from today forward, YOU are the language police. From today forward,
these are the words never to say again.

Never Say:- Government
Instead Say:- Washington
The fact is, most Americans appreciate their local government that picks
up their trash, cleans their streets, and provides police and transportation
services. Washington is the problem. Remind voters again and again about
Washington spending, Washington waste, Washington taxation, Washington
bureaucracy, Washington rules and Washington regulations. Then remind voters
that if Washington created this mess, it is Washington's responsibility to
fix it. "If we expect to succeed, we must look to ourselves and not to
Washington to raise our kids, start our businesses and improve our
day-to-day lives." If you must talk about government, use the context
defined by President Bush: "Government should help people improve their
lives, not try to run their lives."

Never Say:- Privatization/Private Accounts
Instead Say:- Personalization/Personal Accounts
Many more Americans would "personalize" Social Security than "privatize"
it. In fact, two-thirds of America wants to personalize Social Security
while only one-third should privatize it. Why? Personalizing Social Security
suggests ownership and control over your retirement savings, while
privatizing it suggests a profit motive and winners and losers. BANISH
PRIVATIZATION FROM YOUR LEXICON.

Never Say:- Tax Reform
Instead Say:- Tax Simplification
While a majority of Americans are generally in favor of tax reform,
one-third of the population fears that they would end up paying more in
taxes if the tax code was in fact reformed. However, almost all Americans
believe they would personally benefit from a tax code that was simplified-in
terms of money they owe, time they spend and anxiety about the IRS. When
more Americans fear the IRS than root- canal surgery, something should be
done to simplify the tax code.

Never Say:- Inheritance/Estate Tax
Instead Say:- The Death Tax
While a sizable 68% of America thinks the Inheritance/Estate Tax is
unfair, fully 78%think that the Death Tax is unfair. And while a narrow
majority would repeal the inheritance/estate tax, an overwhelming majority
would repeal the death tax. If you want to kill the estate tax, call it a
death tax.

Never Say:- A Global Economy/Globalization/Capitalism
Instead Say:- Free Market Economy
More Americans are afraid of the principle of globalization than even
privatization. The reason? Globalization represents something big, something
distant and something foreign. It's the same reason why Americans like their
local government but dislike Washington-the closer you are, the more control
you have. So instead of talking about the principles of globalization,
instead emphasize "the value and benefits of a free market economy."
Similarly, capitalism reminds people of harsh economic competition that
yields losers as well as winners. Conversely, the free market economy
provides opportunity to all and allows everyone to succeed.

Never Say:- Outsourcing
Instead Say:- Taxation, Regulation, Litigation Innovation, Education
When you use the words of your opposition, you are basically accepting
their definition and therefore their conclusion. We should NEVER use the
word outsourcing because we will then be asked to defend or end the practice
of allowing companies to ship American jobs overseas. Rather, we should talk
about the "root cause" why any company would not want to hire "the best
workers in the world." And the answer: "over-taxation, over-regulation, too
much litigation, and not enough innovation or quality education." Because it
rhymes, it will be remembered.

Never Say:- Undocumented Workers
Instead Say:- Illegal Aliens
The Dems have adopted the phrase "undocumented worker" but you shouldn't.
Call them exactly what they are. In fact, instead of addressing "immigration
reform," which polarizes Americans, you should be talking about "border
security" issues. Securing our borders and our people has universal support.

Never Say:- Foreign Trade
Instead Say:- International Trade
For many reasons unrelated to this issue, the word "foreign" conjures up
negative images. Americans simply don't like "foreign oil," or "foreign
products" or "foreign nationals." International is a more positive concept
than either foreign or global.

Never Say:- Drilling for oil
Instead Say:- Exploring for energy
It's the picture people paint in their minds, the difference between an
old-fashioned oil rig that gushes up black goop vs. 21st century technology
and innovation that provides us the ability to heat our homes and drive our
cars. When you talk about energy, use words like "responsible" and
"balanced" and always address your concern for the environment.

Never Say:- Tort Reform
Instead Say:- Lawsuit Abuse Reform
The term "tort" has very little meaning to the average American, and at
best reminds one of a French pastry. "Lawsuit Abuse" is something most
Americans understand and resent. If you really want to make your case, add
the word "frivolous."

Never Say:- Trial Lawyer
Instead Say:- Personal Injury Lawyer
It is hard to distrust a trial lawyer because we see them portrayed so
favorably on L.A. Law and Law & Order. But personal injury lawyers, also
known as ambulance chasers, remind people of those annoying, harassing
commercials we see at 1:00 a.m. cajoling us to sue someone. If you want to
get the full bang for the buck, call them "predatory personal injury
lawyers."

Never Say:- Corporate Transparency
Instead Say:- Corporate Accountability
I constantly hear the need for "transparency" coming from members of the
financial services industry as well as members of Congress. But if you asked
the American people, corporate accountability is a much higher priority. The
fact is, a majority of Americans can't even explain what transparency
actually means. But everyone understands and demands accountability from
all sectors of the economy . and the government.

Never Say:- School Choice
Instead Say:- Parental Choice/Equal Opportunity in Education
Americans are still evenly split over whether they support "school choice"
in America's schools. But they are heavily in favor of "giving parents the
right to choose the schools that are right for their children," an there is
almost universal support for "equal opportunity in education." So frame the
issue right and you get the support you need.

Never Say:- Health care "Choice"
Instead Say:- "The Right to Choose"
This is an important nuance so often lost on political officials. Almost
all Americans want "the right to choose the health care plan, hospital,
doctor and prescription drug plan that is best for them," but far fewer
Americans actually want to make that choice. In fact, the older you get, the
less eager you are to have a wide range of choices. One reason why the
prescription drug card earned only qualified public support was that it
offered too many choices and therefore created too much confusion for too
many senior citizens.

How Republicans are being taught to talk about Occupy Wall Street
By Chris Moody
December 01, 2011

The Republican Governors Association met this week in Florida to give GOP state executives a chance to rejuvenate, strategize and team-build. But during a plenary session on Wednesday, one question kept coming up: How can Republicans do a better job of talking about Occupy Wall Street?

"I'm so scared of this anti-Wall Street effort. I'm frightened to death," said Frank Luntz, a Republican strategist and one of the nation's foremost experts on crafting the perfect political message. "They're having an impact on what the American people think of capitalism."

Luntz offered tips on how Republicans could discuss the grievances of the Occupiers, and help the governors better handle all these new questions from constituents about "income inequality" and "paying your fair share."

Yahoo News sat in on the session, and counted 10 do's and don'ts from Luntz covering how Republicans should fight back by changing the way they discuss the movement.

1. Don't say 'capitalism.'

"I'm trying to get that word removed and we're replacing it with either 'economic freedom' or 'free market,' " Luntz said. "The public . . . still prefers capitalism to socialism, but they think capitalism is immoral. And if we're seen as defenders of quote, Wall Street, end quote, we've got a problem."

2. Don't say that the government 'taxes the rich.' Instead, tell them that the government 'takes from the rich.'

"If you talk about raising taxes on the rich," the public responds favorably, Luntz cautioned. But "if you talk about government taking the money from hardworking Americans, the public says no. Taxing, the public will say yes."

3. Republicans should forget about winning the battle over the 'middle class.' Call them 'hardworking taxpayers.'

"They cannot win if the fight is on hardworking taxpayers. We can say we defend the 'middle class' and the public will say, I'm not sure about that. But defending 'hardworking taxpayers' and Republicans have the advantage."

4. Don't talk about 'jobs.' Talk about 'careers.'

"Everyone in this room talks about 'jobs,'" Luntz said. "Watch this."

He then asked everyone to raise their hand if they want a "job." Few hands went up. Then he asked who wants a "career." Almost every hand was raised.

"So why are we talking about jobs?"

5. Don't say 'government spending.' Call it 'waste.'

"It's not about 'government spending.' It's about 'waste.' That's what makes people angry."

6. Don't ever say you're willing to 'compromise.'

"If you talk about 'compromise,' they'll say you're selling out. Your side doesn't want you to 'compromise.' What you use in that to replace it with is 'cooperation.' It means the same thing. But cooperation means you stick to your principles but still get the job done. Compromise says that you're selling out those principles."

7. The three most important words you can say to an Occupier: 'I get it.'

"First off, here are three words for you all: 'I get it.' . . . 'I get that you're angry. I get that you've seen inequality. I get that you want to fix the system."

Then, he instructed, offer Republican solutions to the problem.

8. Out: 'Entrepreneur.' In: 'Job creator.'

Use the phrases "small business owners" and "job creators" instead of "entrepreneurs" and "innovators."

9. Don't ever ask anyone to 'sacrifice.'

"There isn't an American today in November of 2011 who doesn't think they've already sacrificed. If you tell them you want them to 'sacrifice,' they're going to be be pretty angry at you. You talk about how 'we're all in this together.' We either succeed together or we fail together."

10. Always blame Washington.

Tell them, "You shouldn't be occupying Wall Street, you should be occupying Washington. You should occupy the White House because it's the policies over the past few years that have created this problem."

Bonus:

Don't say 'bonus!'

Luntz advised that if they give their employees an income boost during the holiday season, they should never refer to it as a "bonus."

"If you give out a bonus at a time of financial hardship, you're going to make people angry. It's 'pay for performance.'"

A Leader’s Lexicon for the 21st Century
By Lesley Docksey
January 23, 2013

Intended to help all 21st Century leaders (Western, of course) when making speeches or statements to the press and their gullible public. N.B.: this is not an exhaustive list, and leaders will invent their own useful words and phrases, freely copied by their fellows.

Insurgents (also known as terrorists, Mujahideen, Al Qaeda, Taliban, Islamists): bad. We don’t support them.

Rebels: good. We support them, with weapons and other equipment, training by our own forces (that are not there) because…

Boots on the ground: we are not going to send in any of our own troops (because they went in secretly last week/month/year).

Regimes, dictatorships: legitimate governments we don’t support.

Governments: regimes and dictatorships we do support.

‘We are proud of our special relationship’: we buy arms from them.

‘Partners’: we sell arms to them.

Friendly nations: and them.

Global allies: and them too.

We welcome the new government/the overthrow of the last government: we want to sell arms to them.

Regimes: people we used to sell arms to.

Dictatorships: as above.

Rogue state: one that has got entirely out of the West’s control.

Chemical/biological/nuclear weapons: use this term to frighten your own citizens. For example, “Iran/Iraq/Syria could attack us with their chemical/biological/nuclear weapons”. Warning – tread carefully here because (1) they may not actually have these weapons and (2) you can’t remember if and when you sold these weapons to them.

Back your statement with: ‘We have proof they have used them on their own citizens’. NEVER provide any proof. The headlines in the press the next day – “Syria/Iran/Iraq accused of…” are what you want.

‘We have proof’: a figment of your imagination. There are two courses you can follow. 1) Never mention it again in the hope the public will forget. 2) Plead ‘security issues’ that prevent you being entirely open and honest.

Robust security response: anything from sanctions, air strikes, boots on the ground to entire lock-down of your own country.

Threat: you can’t use this word often enough, usually with the words ‘grave’, ‘real and present’, ‘real and existential’, large and existential’ etc. Yes – you don’t know what ‘existential’ actually means, but neither does the public, so you get to look smarter than them. You hope.

Intervention: sanctions, air strikes, invasion (but do not mention plots, rebellions or assassinations organised by your own security forces).

Intervention to protect/defend our interests: their resources, our multi-nationals.

Our interests: as above

Humanitarian intervention: look noble when you use this phrase. You are going to stand between an innocent population and its cruel dictator. Do not mention your forces’ shoot-to-kill policy. Also known as ‘Responsibility to protect’, which requires a UN Resolution.

UN Resolution: an impossible set of demands on a rogue state. You know they can’t comply, which gives your invasion an appearance of legitimacy.

We are upholding the terms of the UN ‘responsibility to protect’ resolution: well done, this is quite true! You broke all the terms before you got the resolution passed.

Liberation: offer this to invaded states as the price of modernisation.

Modernisation: handing control of their resources/services over to multinationals.

Democracy (1): arranging elections for invaded states.

Democracy (2): ensuring governments of invaded states are controlled by your preferred candidates. If possible, they should hold American or British passports and maintain a residence in your country.

Democracy (3): ignore local, traditional systems of governance and impose ‘democratic elections’.

Democracy (4): inform your own citizens that you are their leader because they live in a democracy – of which they should be proud.

Removing dictator/regime: make clear to your own citizens that this is in their interest. Make clear that it is also being done to free the invaded country’s citizens and that it is absolutely necessary that they should be the subjects of air strikes etc. Who knows – you might get lucky. One of your precisely targeted missiles might hit the dictator.

Precision bombing: anything within 1000 yards – roughly.

‘Senior Al Qaeda/Taliban /Gaddafi/Assad supporter killed in strike’: Sound proud of your armed drones. They are so pin-point accurate and you know damned well no one can prove otherwise.

Our Brave Boys: our cannon fodder. Use freely and equally with ‘Heroes’.

Combatants: enemy combatants, that is. Their cannon fodder. Synonymous with ‘terrorists’ etc.

Sacrifice: Usually by ‘our brave boys’ when they have been killed, wounded, blown up or captured by ‘the enemy’. ‘Sacrifice’ is often ‘tragic’ – another word to be used freely. Warning: when using the word sacrifice, please hide the satisfaction you feel in knowing you personally will never have to sacrifice anything for the good of your country.

For the good of the country: Use to convince the voters you have a wider, further-reaching vision than theirs. Can also be used in conjunction with ‘national security’ and ‘interests’.

Innocent civilians: yours.

Collateral damage: theirs.

Targeted killing: do your best to sound clinical and leader-like when using this phrase. It means murder or assassination – for which your own citizens would be imprisoned for.

Torture: If British, just keep repeating ‘the Government’s clear policy is not to participate in, solicit, encourage or condone the use of torture or cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment for any purpose’, and insist that ‘our brave boys’ would never do such a thing, even if it has already been proved they did and do. If American, insist that US law allows you to do this as it has ruled that water-boarding etc. is not torture. You can be absolutely sure on this – you or your predecessor pushed it through the courts.

We have the enemy on the run: our troops are confined to base.

Bringing our boys back home: always insist that they have ‘fulfilled their mission’. Depend on the fact that very few people will remember what the mission was. If pressed, use the words ‘pulling out’ rather than ‘withdrawing’. Or say that the ‘global threat of terrorism’ has moved elsewhere and that you and your forces are prepared to go wherever it raises its ugly head.

But NEVER, never use the words ‘retreat’, ‘lost’ or ‘defeat’.

Politician Speak Translated
By Michael Greenwell
May 04, 2007

Part 1

Its difficult even for politicians to keep up with some of the jargon, spin and rhetoric these days so, in order to help, there follows a brief description of some of the more common phrases.

Pre-emptive Strike - this is the new term for attacking people who haven’t touched you yet. To put it in a more social setting it is equivalent to going up to a man in a bar and punching him just in case he happens to spill your beer later on.

Preventive War - This means denying everyone but yourself and your friends the chance to even buy a beer.

We Will See How The Situation Develops - we do not have the time, the money, or the inclination to do anything about this at the moment.

Liar/Lying - In the bizarre politics of the early 21st century one of the strangest manifestations in the language is that the one thing that the politicians are trying to outdo each other in is the one thing they aren’t allowed to call each other or accuse each other of (in the UK parliament).

Convention rules that even words such as “untruth” are frowned upon. Due to this some rather strange language has grown up around the subject. Lying has come to be known by such terms as “being economical with the truth”, “putting an interpretation on events that was at significant variance with the facts”, “terminological inexactitude” (Winston Churchill) or even “making a press statement”.

“I’m glad you asked me that.” - that was the one question I hoped you wouldn’t ask me.

Hearts And Minds - These days we are often told that the battle for “hearts and minds” is more important than the physical battle with weapons. This seems a little confusing - presumably the western armies are hoping to pick up the pieces of these hearts and minds from the towns and villages where they have blown them up? Any other explanation seems unlikely, as it is difficult to convince people of your good intentions when you are bombing them.

Or perhaps it relates to what Chuck Colson, former aide to Richard Nixon said ..”When you’ve got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow”.

European Partners - European enemies

Multiculturalism - respecting the symbols, values and idiosyncrasies of all colours, creeds and religions - provided that is, that they can be co-opted into a neoliberal economic order and packaged in plastic and sold off. If it is not possible to do this then the adherents of whichever ideology it is must be considered to be “depraved opponents of civilisation itself.”

A Constructive Discussion - this means nothing at all. The phrase “a constructive discussion” is only used in circumstances where no agreement of any sort has been reached. We know this because if a solution is reached, even if its during a conference about the width of traffic cones then it is still called “an historic agreement”

An Historic Agreement - See entry for “A Constructive Discussion.”

Collateral Damage - this means no more or less than dead people. This phrase released many politicians and military people from potentially difficult situations in that it is much easier to say “the operation was a success although we did sustain a small amount of collateral damage” than to say “we bulldozed our way through a civilian area and though we killed a few camel-f*ckers, we did get what we went in there for.”

Weapons of Mass Destruction - do you remember doing French at school? This phrase only applies to “they” not “we” or “I”. It’s like an irregular verb -

- They have weapons of mass destruction

- You are either with us or against us and

- We have strong defensive capabilities,
or if you prefer “we shall defend our island whatever the cost may be.”

Strong Government - ignoring everybody else. Thereby when the country doesn’t want to go to war and you do you can say you are not being bloody minded or a warmonger - it is in fact “strong government.”

We Are Putting The Matter To Consultation - This can mean one of 3 things,

1 = We are hoping everyone will forget this unpopular measure we are proposing and then we can bring it back when the media is concentrating on something else and try and slip it to them that way.

2 = we simply hope the matter will go away.

Option 3 is to employ consultants that you know will agree with your initial hypotheses and then when they report back you can claim your original policy has been vindicated.