Spanking detrimental to children, study says
- Thread starter SirJosephPorter
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The stupidity of people that state....This is what you should do because it worked when I did it with my kids......... Big f*ckin deal..... it worked for you and your kids, does NOT mean it will work for someone else and their kid(s).
This worked for numbers 1 & 2 , this worked for number 3, this worked for number 4 and 6, this worked for number 5 and this worked for number 7..... get it?????
This worked for numbers 1 & 2 , this worked for number 3, this worked for number 4 and 6, this worked for number 5 and this worked for number 7..... get it?????
From what I can tell from the news article of the study, they said spanking may have a detrimental effect on toddlers. For one thing, toddlers are like up to age 4, IMO. For another thing, the researchers may be right, but their findings can only be applicable for the children of low-income families who are spanked and not for the kids of the rest of society.
I'm not convinced spanking a toddler under any circumstances is appropriate. Perhaps for older kids it may be, but I think a parent who resorts to spanking must be frustrated beyond control.
I had the kids with me one time when one acted up in a store. I dropped everything and took the kids home. Then I explained that they would not be getting the dinner they wanted because I didn't get the groceries to make the dinner. And I didn't get the groceries because the people in the store don't like that sort of behavior because it hurts them. And I said if you want people to love you, you don't hurt them. It worked. I think her sister had a little chat with her after, too, which might have helped.
If you view kids as your property (or even pets for that matter), you objectify them as belongings and that has a subconscious effect on you. Kids are small people. They need help to grow, not tyranny.
I'm not convinced spanking a toddler under any circumstances is appropriate. Perhaps for older kids it may be, but I think a parent who resorts to spanking must be frustrated beyond control.
I had the kids with me one time when one acted up in a store. I dropped everything and took the kids home. Then I explained that they would not be getting the dinner they wanted because I didn't get the groceries to make the dinner. And I didn't get the groceries because the people in the store don't like that sort of behavior because it hurts them. And I said if you want people to love you, you don't hurt them. It worked. I think her sister had a little chat with her after, too, which might have helped.
If you view kids as your property (or even pets for that matter), you objectify them as belongings and that has a subconscious effect on you. Kids are small people. They need help to grow, not tyranny.
You can't even chat on a forum without resorting to incoherent goonery. This would all be a mighty challenge for you.
I don’t think exclusion is necessarily meant as a punishment. Exclusion is more of a precaution, to separate the miscreant from other students (he may be a disruptive influence on the class).
The student himself may not even regard it as a punishment. If the reason he was misbehaving was that he did not like school, he may look on expulsion as a kind of vacation.
But the reason for his exclusion may be to keep peace in the school.
:roll:
I've had seven of my own, plus taken in others....Karrie has met my 2 youngest....
Karrie,what did you HONESTLY think of my 2 youngest boys?
I KNOW what is involved in raising kids, and not just "normal", "easy to handle" kids. ADD/ADHD kids, kids with parents that were drug adicts, FAS kids.
Which is why "expulsion" doesn't help the child in question and some other way of dealing should be found....but no/...so much easier for the lazy educators to just turf the kid.
Sometimes, only the shock value of a crack on the ass - ONE open-handed crack on the ass for they who like to interpret slap as beating - will reach what all the fuzzy-bunny coddling can't. If you're rearing kids like they're all alike, then who really is the idiot?
If it "feels good" to the angry parent, then that angry parent shouldn't be a parent - plain and simple as that. With three kids, I can count the number of times the whole brood got it on the fingers of one hand - and three of them were my son. They were done with the cry and on about their business long before I stopped feeling bad about it.
Imposible...you had to be angrier than hell and one step away from murder in your eyes when you beat that child.:roll:
I'm glad he's a great guy.
My opinion on this is there is no need to hit a kid. Just as there is no reason to have corporal punishment in school. Schools are miles ahead of where they were when I was a kid. Parenting evolves too.
corporal punishment is just one tool in a parents bag. If some parnts choose not to avail themselves of that tool, fine. Just like some parents don't believe in grounding a child. As long as the child grows up to be a well adjusted, contributing Adult, the Parents have done their job.
One more comment, concerning the screaming child in the supermarket. At onetime, the general concensus among child "experts" was to ignore the child that was aving a "fit". To "acknkowledge" the childs behaviour in any way would just reinforce that behaviour. Parents were old to ignore the child and eventually the child would learn, on his or her wn, that that type of behaviour would not garner the child what he/she wanted. Yet there are people on here, that have said some not so nice things about the parents that follow this teaching.
The point is, not ALL things work for ALL children, and the "experts" don't know it all. As a matter of fact, the "experts", through the years, have been proven wrong more many many times.
One more comment, concerning the screaming child in the supermarket. At onetime, the general concensus among child "experts" was to ignore the child that was aving a "fit". To "acknkowledge" the childs behaviour in any way would just reinforce that behaviour. Parents were old to ignore the child and eventually the child would learn, on his or her wn, that that type of behaviour would not garner the child what he/she wanted. Yet there are people on here, that have said some not so nice things about the parents that follow this teaching.
The point is, not ALL things work for ALL children, and the "experts" don't know it all. As a matter of fact, the "experts", through the years, have been proven wrong more many many times.
I'd like to point out a few obvious problems to the conclusive nature of the first post:
1.) correlation does not imply causation.
Are children who are spanked more likely to misbehave, or is it that children who misbehave are more likely to be spanked? I know where I would put my wager.
2.) "That is a high proportion of spanking indeed. No wonder we have such a problem with violence today. Evidently in the families where spanking does goes on, it seems to be routine, quite frequent."
"problem with violence today" implies we have more violence today than previously. If that is so than not spanking would seem to increase the problem of violence, since previous to the current generation spanking was the default behaviour.
That if spanking is way down to this generation, and violence way up, it would imply (but again, in no way prove causation) that spanking reduces violence.
food for thought.
1.) correlation does not imply causation.
Are children who are spanked more likely to misbehave, or is it that children who misbehave are more likely to be spanked? I know where I would put my wager.
2.) "That is a high proportion of spanking indeed. No wonder we have such a problem with violence today. Evidently in the families where spanking does goes on, it seems to be routine, quite frequent."
"problem with violence today" implies we have more violence today than previously. If that is so than not spanking would seem to increase the problem of violence, since previous to the current generation spanking was the default behaviour.
That if spanking is way down to this generation, and violence way up, it would imply (but again, in no way prove causation) that spanking reduces violence.
food for thought.
But many people misunderstand what some of the new thinkers are saying. The retired-pedi I referred to earlier believes in physical parenting, just not hitting. It's pretty complex to explain it on a forum but it isn't just about watching a kid have a tantrum and telling them how lovely they are. There is much more to it.