Warrant: Girl was tortured for dating the wrong boy
- Thread starter Praxius
- Start date
Prax... I've read a lot about the kinds of kids who end up hurting other kids, who grow up to be violent, and trust me, they're more often than not kids who were beaten at home. The lack of a smack on the ass, or physical punishment, isn't the issue. Just because we have laws and rules saying that kids shouldn't get more than spankings, doesn't mean kids don't get more. Trust me.
Fair enough, however I wasn't just talking about getting a smack as a form of dicipline. In the example of the father who was struck down by the courts and his own daughter.... in cases where non-physical punishment is still too much and kids can goto courts to force their parents to do what they want to do.... exactly how can one expect children to hold any respect towards parenting?
And I'm not generalizing all parents or all children, I am focusing on the children who commit these sorts of crimes.
In this father's case, he can't even make a decision where his daughter can go on a useless trip she didn't even diserve... it was made for him. This form of punishment wasn't going to kill her, or harm her in anyway.... perhaps it might have harmed her popularity or something. And when the courts revoke your own decision as a parent, what is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to be respected by his daughter now? What are the options left to his disposal?
What about the worse situation where the child is violent, doesn't respect his/her parents let alone respects anybody else in the community? What do you do when they're so out of control that the parents are in fear of their own child?
I ask these questions because yes.... I don't have a kid of my own, that's why I have these questions... that's why I have these concerns.... that's why I get pissy when these sorts of things continually happen.... and that is why I ask questions and make comments.
To understand.
I mean, besides removal of their games, tv, or cell phone privilages, or making them goto bed earlier.... if none of that works, all I can see that a parent can do is hang them off a bridge or send them to boot camp without resorting to physical punishment.
And I say this as one of those kids who used to test the systems, know my limits, see what I could get away with, and most of the "No TV, no Video Games" stuff never worked on me..... so my father would come home and strike the fear of God in me and my brother/sister so we wouldn't do what we did again.
But I was never one to go around and beat up other kids, I never treated other kids like scum. Even when another kid would pick a fight with me, I'd never fight back, because I always figured I'd get in even more crap then before.
Heck, even when I told my father about these times, he told me I had his permission to put the boots to them and make them hurt. Make one example out of one kid and the rest will leave you alone....... and yet, I still never did, because that was never me.
Of course now looking back, I wish I did unload a few fists and put some thugs to the ground, but I didn't.
I didn't, because I knew what would happen once I started..... I wouldn't stop.
So as someone actually asking other's opinions.... what would you guys do, as parents, if you have a child who was commiting crimes such as the ones listed above?
And I ask, because quite frankly, as with others where I live of my age.... we're all wondering what's the point? What's the point in raising a kids in an environment where they'll be going to school with people like this.... people much worse then what I went through in school? Where even dicipline that sounds reasonable, isn't reasonable.
You know...some kids are just bad. A few years ago there was a gang of white kids in suburban Las Vegas. These kids participated in what you folks are calling "swarming". They video taped them jumping other kids, causing mayhem etc. The kicker was they were ALL from well to do families. Beautiful Houses, neighborhoods but they were just out of control.
What got me thinking was when a mother of one of these thugs was interviewed and she said...
"People are saying 'Where were the parents'? Well I can tell you I was right here all the time. I raised three other kids who didn't get involved in any of this. I raised them all the same."
Again...some kids are just bad.
What got me thinking was when a mother of one of these thugs was interviewed and she said...
"People are saying 'Where were the parents'? Well I can tell you I was right here all the time. I raised three other kids who didn't get involved in any of this. I raised them all the same."
Again...some kids are just bad.
I'm not there yet Prax. I can't tell you what I will or would do, because I don't know what these kids were like. I don't know how they were at home. I have no clue what their personalities are like, what sorts of things they react to, what they value, or what they NEED.
There is simply no formula. Take my own two kids as an example, even though they are young. My daughter values no one toy, no one privilege. Taking away anything from her in a case of misbehavior doesn't work. The only truly influencing factor on her behavior is the opinion and reaction of the people around her. For now anyway. If we are displeased, she is crushed. It makes her an extremely easy kid to deal with. She's had a total of MAYBE three spankings in her entire life (and I mean a simple swat on the bum), and I honestly can't see her ever needing one again. She's simply too mature now, at the age of 8.
My son on the other hand, values his toys and his down time. Taking away his computer time is THE number one way to get his attention and change his behavior. What people around him think is quite secondary normally. He's had so many spankings that I can't even begin to count them. His hitting and biting and lashing out was completely out of hand for almost half of his whopping 7 years of life. It took a lot of self discipline for hubby and I to correct his behavior, because my son is a mirror. Yell, and he'll yell. Hit and he'll hit. When he's in a fit, he needs to be locked away from the situation. When he's hurt and upset, he needs to have the situation and the reasoning and the emotion behind it calmly and rationally explained to him. Anything else just sends it all into a tail spin.
I can't parent my two kids the same way. They've had different problems, they react differently, and they value different things. I have no clue what the magic buttons will be when they hit their teenage years. I have no idea if they'll value anything at all, or if the hormonal surge will send them into a downward spiral of anger and self loathing. But... I do know that I'm attentive. And willing to seek different parenting tactics. And willing to seek outside help. And I hope that's enough.
That's a Catch 22 ... considering you will be charged with child abandonment if you drop them on the doorstep of the organization who lobbied to create the monster in the first place - Child Welfare.
Now....this is a HELL of alot better than what you started this thread out with, and what you have done on other threads....and boy...do I have some tales to tell concerning EXACTLEY what you are asking....I just don't have time right thisminute to tell..... let's just start out with that my 2 oldest boys are ADD/ADHD with violent tendancys...I'll get back to this.
Personally, I believe there should be a LOT more concern for the kids in divorces. We can't change the current fashion (or lazy streak) that says it's easier to walk away from tough times than it is to work your way through them ... but should two "adults" really be permitted to mess with the kids heads or use them as pawns in their own control-it-all games? Daddy says I don't have to do that or Mommy told me you were a jerk for stopping me ... or Mommy has a friend coming over so you go to the mall. Daddy can't take you any more. What empathy does the kid learn? What sort of jealousy is the kid going to pick up when that's the atmosphere in which they're raised? What respect is a kid going to learn when there is no means to get the point home? There are no easy answers. It all boils down to it's a throw away society and our kids are paying the price for it.
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This story reminds me of a story I read about and saw vidclips about last year. The girl and her boyfriend were mideastern from different sects of Islam and she was stoned to death for associating with her bf. Didn't find out if anything happened to the boy but I expect nothing did as he is male. Only women can do anything wrong there, you know.
Anyway, I don't think these sorts of people have very good principles if they have any at all.
Anyway, I don't think these sorts of people have very good principles if they have any at all.
I wonder how often that happens. Some folks don't have a lot in the way of self thought but are big in ambition. You do have some copyright protection in the date stamp in these forums. It's costly to sue, but an injunction (or IP block) comes cheap.
Oh, I almost forgot, we better ban cigarettes (which I think is a good idea) and mop handles. (No charge for the sarcasm, Resus)
Like many things in life, these only keep the honest, not creepy folk from being arses. The others however, are just too sad and pathetic to care. They'd rather be moralless freaks and troll around the net trying to fulfill some vendetta or crush or whatever the hell it is that spurs such behavior. Costly to sue indeed... and in order to do it you risk making your personal info accessible to someone who's clearly off their rocker.
4shner</SPAN>
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:04 pm Post subject: · QuoteAw, poor Gerry.........
Gerryh on Canadian Content wrote:Actually...sorry...I have reconsidered...I will not be posting any examples, stories, ancedotes as what I post here does not stay here, but instead is cross posted by someone to another forum.
I'd like to thank that "someone" who is kind enough to continue e-mailing his crap to the repository!
I guess Gerry is "still" lurking.......
_________________
Didn't take the f*ckwad long...did it.....I won't be posting here anymore.
4shner</SPAN>
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 2:13 pm Post subject: · QuoteGerry's in one of his pouty moods again.
Following a paste of my post from here, there's this;
Gerryh on Canadian Content wrote:Didn't take the f*ckwad long...did it.....I won't be posting here anymore.
Just for the record Gerry. The posts are supplied from a regular member of that forum you poor maligned dick!
I guess he'll be lurking there now like he does here!
So.....who's the chicken sh*t? You have the guts to out yourself, or are you just one of forshners f*ck buddies tryin to keep on his goodside so you can continue to get your weekly BJ's....... How did ya's meet? a cornhole convention?
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