Obviously we have to use discretion when applying equality.
No we don't. We have to apply discretion to day to day life issues, but choosing one person over another at any given moment doesn't mean we did so due to a lack of equality.
Equality between my husband and I says that my opinion matters as much as his, that we share our space and our lives as partners. That's the broad sense of equality. But the fact that HIS opinion, and his right to rule the space, rules supreme in the garage, does not negate that we are equals. It merely means that in that time and place, his personal skill set trumps mine. The opposite applies to the kitchen. We aren't inequal.
Just like him giving me a life boat would not make us unequal, because I nurture and protect his offspring. It also would not make me less than equal to work myself off my feet nursing my family if we were to all contract a horrible virus, because that's the sort or way I sacrifice for my family.
Equality means that between him and I, we are free to develop, assess, and apply our skill sets as suits us, in each scenario and facet of life, as we see fit.