Dear Durka:

L Gilbert
#31
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

On the topic of shaving lotion, have you ever tasted Aqua Velva?

No but it makes my toenails shiny.
 
DurkaDurka
#32
Quote: Originally Posted by L GilbertView Post

No but it makes my toenails shiny.

Nice, I can't say I have noticed any benefit to drinking Aqua Velva.... yet
 
DurkaDurka
#33
Quote: Originally Posted by MeesheeView Post

I met Jo-Jo in grade 8 when she came to my school with her sister. She said I was an angel....LMAO

You met Jo-Jo? You lucky devil.
 
eh1eh
#34
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

You met Jo-Jo? You lucky devil.

Is that Jo-Jo Chinto, City Pulse News or Jo-Jo the Psychic Dog Lady?
BTW Dr. Durka I'm having a problem with my blood sugar. Does vodka and ginger ale help?
 
Meeshee
#35
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

You met Jo-Jo? You lucky devil.

Ummm....angel actually. If Jo-Jo called me an angel, it has to be true. Ummm, er.....Right?
 
DurkaDurka
#36
Quote: Originally Posted by eh1ehView Post

Is that Jo-Jo Chinto, City Pulse News or Jo-Jo the Psychic Dog Lady?
BTW Dr. Durka I'm having a problem with my blood sugar. Does vodka and ginger ale help?

I prescribe to you 12 ounces of vodka to 4 ounces of ginger ale. You will feel like a Russian in the morning.
 
DurkaDurka
#37
Quote: Originally Posted by MeesheeView Post

Ummm....angel actually. If Jo-Jo called me an angel, it has to be true. Ummm, er.....Right?

There could be some truth to her words, you will need to confirm that with her though for an additional 99c/minute.
 
eh1eh
#38
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

I prescribe to you 12 ounces of vodka to 4 ounces of ginger ale. You will feel like a Russian in the morning.

OOps. I didn't know I needed to wait til morning to feel Russian.
 
selfactivated
#39
Uh hum.........*tappin toes* Stompin on my side of the street aint ya busta?
 
DurkaDurka
#40
Quote: Originally Posted by selfactivatedView Post

Uh hum.........*tappin toes* Stompin on my side of the street aint ya busta?

I'm not trying to steal your business Self... really.
 
selfactivated
#41
pffffft you couldnt if you tried.....you aint got MY talent!
 
DurkaDurka
#42
My powers seem to have been restored with this beverage I have been drinking. Ask, and you shall be heard.
 
Meeshee
#43
Dear Durka,

I just turned 25 which is 1/4 of a century. Seeing as I most likely will not make it to be 100, I probably have roughly 35% of my life gone. I am hitting a pre, pre mid-life crisis. HELP!
 
DurkaDurka
#44
Quote: Originally Posted by MeesheeView Post

Dear Durka,

I just turned 25 which is 1/4 of a century. Seeing as I most likely will not make it to be 100, I probably have roughly 35% of my life gone. I am hitting a pre, pre mid-life crisis. HELP!

My mystical powers usually need alcohol to activate them, but I'll see what I can do. I will get back to you on this shortly, I have to consult Absolut Vodka.
 
Meeshee
#45
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

My mystical powers usually need alcohol to activate them, but I'll see what I can do. I will get back to you on this shortly, I have to consult Absolut Vodka.

Well don`t wait too long.
 
DurkaDurka
#46
According to Absolut Vodka, you shall immediately go to the mall and purchase the following:

1. Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits
2. 40oz of Peach Liquer
3. 80's style mullet wig
4. 1 bottle of cheap perfume
5. 1 pair of leather type jeans
6. 1 Neon belly shirt
7. 1 tube of bright red lipstick

With these items you will be able to replicate a genuine cougar, go prowl young lady.
 
Meeshee
#47
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

According to Absolut Vodka, you shall immediately go to the mall and purchase the following:

1. Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits
2. 40oz of Peach Liquer
3. 80's style mullet wig
4. 1 bottle of cheap perfume
5. 1 pair of leather type jeans
6. 1 Neon belly shirt
7. 1 tube of bright red lipstick

With these items you will be able to replicate a genuine cougar, go prowl young lady.

Thanks you so much Durka. I will run there now.

Want me to PM you a picture or video of me on the prowl and show you my progress.
 
DurkaDurka
#48
Quote: Originally Posted by MeesheeView Post

Thanks you so much Durka. I will run there now.

Want me to PM you a picture or video of me on the prowl and show you my progress.

Yes, that would be lovely. lmao.
 
Meeshee
#49
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

Yes, that would be lovely. lmao.

Why is that funny. Don`t you want to know the progress of the people you help?
hehe
 
DurkaDurka
#50
Quote: Originally Posted by MeesheeView Post

Why is that funny. Don`t you want to know the progress of the people you help?
hehe

Of course I do. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of leather pants.
 
Meeshee
#51
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

Of course I do. I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of leather pants.

I am thinking about making them myself. I think that might help me feel like I am worth something. I mean, making a pair of leather pants really has always been my dream. I wondering on color tho, is yellow too flashy?
 
DurkaDurka
#52
Quote: Originally Posted by MeesheeView Post

I am thinking about making them myself. I think that might help me feel like I am worth something. I mean, making a pair of leather pants really has always been my dream. I wondering on color tho, is yellow too flashy?

I would go with Red, and attach little tassels to the sides, they would look very 1982
 
Meeshee
#53
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

I would go with Red, and attach little tassels to the sides, they would look very 1982

OMG.....FEATHERS.
 
DurkaDurka
#54
Quote: Originally Posted by MeesheeView Post

OMG.....FEATHERS.

haha, they would work too.
 
Meeshee
#55
Quote: Originally Posted by DurkaDurkaView Post

haha, they would work too.

Thanks Durka. I hope this helps!
 
eh1eh
#56
Dear Durka,

With your infinite knowledge of the impaired can you tell me if it is possible to extract memories lost to an excess of LSD in youth?
 
DurkaDurka
#57
Quote: Originally Posted by eh1ehView Post

Dear Durka,

With your infinite knowledge of the impaired can you tell me if it is possible to extract memories lost to an excess of LSD in youth?

Well... I have been trying to extract the memories lost due to excess lsd in my youth as well. What I am thinking is:

1. Have a lava lamp running full tilt
2. Consume at least 18 beers
3. Dim the regular lights
4. Light up a fat doob
5. Throw on some doors or led zeppelin
6. Have windows media player loop trippy virtualizations
7. Lay back and enjoy the slideshow... woot

I'lll post my findings later.
 
eh1eh
#58
I will participate in this study.

Woot!
 
Pangloss
#59
Durka2:

I want to be taller, thinner and better hung. Is that a sin? If so, which one(s)?

Also, is it a sin to think you are smarter than everybody else if you actually are smarter than everybody else? Isn't that kind of like being better - just a self-evident quality that should be obvious to all with eyes to see, ears to listen and a wallet to buy me a beer?

In all false modesty,

Pangloss
 
DurkaDurka
#60
Quote: Originally Posted by PanglossView Post

Durka2:

I want to be taller, thinner and better hung. Is that a sin? If so, which one(s)?

Also, is it a sin to think you are smarter than everybody else if you actually are smarter than everybody else? Isn't that kind of like being better - just a self-evident quality that should be obvious to all with eyes to see, ears to listen and a wallet to buy me a beer?

In all false modesty,

Pangloss

Pangloss, you need to buy subscripions to Maxim magizne if you want to look like Ben Afleck. not sure if he is hung though, I'll have to ask J-Lo.

I can't comment on whether is it a sin to think you are smarter then everyone since I have never experinced that or anything close. If you can quote literature like the dude in good will hunting you might be able to score a free beer from someone though.
 

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