Easy answer: because he's like the Old Testament!
3 And in process of time it came to pass, that da Mooch brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Donald.
4 And Reince, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Donald had respect unto Reince and to his offering:
5 But unto da Mooch and to his offering he had not respect. And da Mooch was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
6 And the Donald said unto da Mooch, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
8 And da Mooch talked with Reince his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that da Mooch rose up against Reince his brother, and slew him.
9 And the Donald said unto da Mooch, Where is Reince thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
10 And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.
11 And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;
12 When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
13 And da Mooch said unto the Donald, My punishment is greater than I can bear.
14 Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.
15 And the Donald said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth da Mooch, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Donald set a mark upon da Mooch, lest any finding him should kill him.
16 And da Mooch went out from the presence of the Donald, and dwelt in the land of Nyawk, on the east of Eden.
This is the Word of the Donald.
3 And in process of time it came to pass, that da Mooch brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Donald.
4 And Reince, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Donald had respect unto Reince and to his offering:
5 But unto da Mooch and to his offering he had not respect. And da Mooch was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
6 And the Donald said unto da Mooch, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
7 If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
8 And da Mooch talked with Reince his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that da Mooch rose up against Reince his brother, and slew him.
9 And the Donald said unto da Mooch, Where is Reince thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
10 And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.
11 And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;
12 When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
13 And da Mooch said unto the Donald, My punishment is greater than I can bear.
14 Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.
15 And the Donald said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth da Mooch, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Donald set a mark upon da Mooch, lest any finding him should kill him.
16 And da Mooch went out from the presence of the Donald, and dwelt in the land of Nyawk, on the east of Eden.
This is the Word of the Donald.
