What makes a man? As male icons fall from grace, regular guys struggle to identify ‘right’ kind of masculinity | National Post
On a recent afternoon, a stream of men filtered into a massive basement venue for The Gentlemen’s Expo: a “celebration of all things that encompass a true gentleman.”
Beautiful women poured tumblers of Johnnie Walker Blue Label, a $300 bottle of scotch, for men to enjoy whilst stretched out on a tan leather sofa. Onlookers oohed and aahed as Las Vegas “bar magician” Smoothini the Ghetto Houdini pulled a playing card out of a scantily clad volunteer’s decolletage. Poker games were in full swing. Glistening sports cars were parked on just the right angle.
To be a man is to have a lifelong identity crisis
Days later, in an old red-brick theatre, more than 140 activists, academics, students and social justice types snapped their fingers in support of drawing a “new map to manhood” at the 2014 What Makes a Man conference. Hosted by the White Ribbon Campaign to end violence against women, it opened with an indigenous ceremony and identified the conference as a safe space where only “consensual hugs” would be permitted.
The timing of these two events is coincidental — but both are expressions of a larger cultural anxiety about what it means to be a man right now. As a slew of male icons fall from grace, from uber-dad Bill Cosby to Mr. Sensitive Jian Ghomeshi to tough NFLers like Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, regular guys are increasingly confused about the “right” kind of masculinity — and how it informs their relationships with and responsibilities toward women.
“To be a man is to have a lifelong identity crisis,” says Jeff Perera, community engagement manager for the White Ribbon Campaign and a conference organizer.
The struggle with the meaning of masculinity has been going on for the better part of 40 years, since the Don Drapers of the world loosened their ties, started to express their emotions and made new commitments to fatherhood. They also took on more housework and “accommodated themselves” to greater gender equality at work.
But the last few years, in particular, have been a “moment of tremendous transition,” says Michael Kimmel, one of the world’s leading researchers on men and masculinity and the author of bestseller Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men.
“Those ideas of never crying or not showing your feelings, while they tend to be policed still, men’s response to the policing has largely become more strategic.”
At the same time, though, men are also policed for showing too much aggression — and are increasingly held to account for what feminists call our “rape culture,” the objectification of women, and violence against them.
“We’re under a lot of scrutiny,” said Gentlemen’s Expo attendee Rowan Bastiansz, a 27-year-old banker in Toronto. “You don’t want to be an idiot, you never want to say stupid because, obviously, I’m very mindful of the image I put out of myself.”........
Continued on Link
On a recent afternoon, a stream of men filtered into a massive basement venue for The Gentlemen’s Expo: a “celebration of all things that encompass a true gentleman.”
Beautiful women poured tumblers of Johnnie Walker Blue Label, a $300 bottle of scotch, for men to enjoy whilst stretched out on a tan leather sofa. Onlookers oohed and aahed as Las Vegas “bar magician” Smoothini the Ghetto Houdini pulled a playing card out of a scantily clad volunteer’s decolletage. Poker games were in full swing. Glistening sports cars were parked on just the right angle.
To be a man is to have a lifelong identity crisis
Days later, in an old red-brick theatre, more than 140 activists, academics, students and social justice types snapped their fingers in support of drawing a “new map to manhood” at the 2014 What Makes a Man conference. Hosted by the White Ribbon Campaign to end violence against women, it opened with an indigenous ceremony and identified the conference as a safe space where only “consensual hugs” would be permitted.
The timing of these two events is coincidental — but both are expressions of a larger cultural anxiety about what it means to be a man right now. As a slew of male icons fall from grace, from uber-dad Bill Cosby to Mr. Sensitive Jian Ghomeshi to tough NFLers like Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, regular guys are increasingly confused about the “right” kind of masculinity — and how it informs their relationships with and responsibilities toward women.
“To be a man is to have a lifelong identity crisis,” says Jeff Perera, community engagement manager for the White Ribbon Campaign and a conference organizer.
The struggle with the meaning of masculinity has been going on for the better part of 40 years, since the Don Drapers of the world loosened their ties, started to express their emotions and made new commitments to fatherhood. They also took on more housework and “accommodated themselves” to greater gender equality at work.
But the last few years, in particular, have been a “moment of tremendous transition,” says Michael Kimmel, one of the world’s leading researchers on men and masculinity and the author of bestseller Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men.
“Those ideas of never crying or not showing your feelings, while they tend to be policed still, men’s response to the policing has largely become more strategic.”
At the same time, though, men are also policed for showing too much aggression — and are increasingly held to account for what feminists call our “rape culture,” the objectification of women, and violence against them.
“We’re under a lot of scrutiny,” said Gentlemen’s Expo attendee Rowan Bastiansz, a 27-year-old banker in Toronto. “You don’t want to be an idiot, you never want to say stupid because, obviously, I’m very mindful of the image I put out of myself.”........
Continued on Link
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