TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AMERICAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
FRENCH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
GERMAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
BRITISH CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Both are mad.
SPANISH/ITALIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
RUSSIAN CAPITALISM (I love this one): You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the journalist who reported the numbers.
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
EUROPEAN UNION: You have two cows. The EU declares them to be fruit in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
DYSLEXIA: You have two wocs... (I know it's not model of anything, but it's funny )
NEW ZEALANDISM: You have two sheep.
SURREALISM: You have two cows. The government paints one purple and requires you to take harmonica lessons.
PESSIMISM: You have two cows. You milk them, but the glass is half empty.
OPTIMISM: You have one cow. It's sick, emaciated, and produces sour milk but you're sure things will get better.
REALISM: You have two cows. You milk them.
CANADIANISM: You have Fifteen billion cows. One of them gets sick. The United States bans all canadian beef products.
HINDUISM: You have one cow, a wife, and seven kids. You enough have money for only two meals per day. The cow gets both.
NEWFOUNDLANDISM: You have two cows. That is, two female moose. Actually, the ratio works out to about 2.5, of you assume there are the same number of male moose and female moose. Yes, there are 5 moose for every person in Newfoundland.
MAINEISM: You have two cows. You go fishing or lobstering.
ALBERTANISM - You have 200,000 cows. An American cow you never knew existed has mad cow. It is your fault.
BRITISH COLUMBIANISM -You have 200,000 cows. They dont produce any soy milk. You go out of business
SASKATCHEWANISM - You have two cows. There is no rain. they die.
MANITOBAISM - You have two cows. The Red River floods and they both drown.
ONTARIOISM - You have two cows. They freeze to death in november.
QUEBECISM - You have two cow. they don't moo in french. You get fined.
