... the fact that men are responsible for building the feminine ideal and women the male ideal.
There's no real evidence to support that. The evidence actually indicates the opposite. Men, for example, have the idea that muscles equal good looks. Women, on the other hand, see overly muscular men as unattractive according to surveys. Yet, men persist in building muscles in their attempt to become attractive. So who is driving that? Is it women? Certainly not! It's men!
You can put the shoe on the other foot as well. Men certainly have their ideas on what women are more attractive than others in their personal opinions, but men are otherwise not particular. Men are like male dogs. They just want to fornicate and they'll jump at any opportunity. To suggest that the whole "female ideal" is in anyway male driven is patently absurd. And that's putting it mildly.
Have you ever talked to a female about other females? They're vicious! The pressure on females comes from other females. Period.