Ten Penny,
Well said and adeptly worded too. Those victims who survive are called, "The wreckage." There has to be a reason why the professional behavioral counselors have adopted this term. I'll bet it comes from their assessment of the damage done psychologically. Rarely does a victim ever acheive a 100% come back from this type of trauma. The other only suffers if they choose to reflect on the acts. Most are so sick they can't see anything but the continung wish to try to repeat the violent act again.
So, does anybody here actually know what they are talking about?
Tell me, normbc9 - where can I find some published item where the victim calls themselves "the wreckage?" Any interview will do. If professional behavioural counselors have adopted this term - cite it for me. I call B.S. Show me a citation.
Childhood Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse, a British Columbia group, helped produce a series of interviews with me when I had a radio show in Vancouver. An invitation went out to every member of the group, and several different folks were interviewed over a period of a few weeks.
Nobody referred to themselves or the other members of the group as "the wreckage."
Were they suicidal? Not particularly - oh to be sure, there were plenty of attempts - but they were, according to those who had tried and were talking to me - mostly of the "cry for help" variety. Were they really screwed up - yeah, many of them were.
"Rarely does a victim ever achieve 100% come back from this type of trauma." What the hell are you talking about? I'll be generous and say you mean they "got better" or some equally vague term.
Again, I'll go from what I've read and what so many of those I've interviewed have to say: like any other bad thing in your life (mugging, car accident, public humiliation, death of a friend), the thing is never totally "gotten over." It becomes a part of your life, shaping who you are - for good and for ill - and should never be forgotten. The further you grow away from the bad thing, the less important it becomes and the less you think about it. That is a pretty broad tendency, not a law.
Some people never get past it. Sad, tragic. Truly. For every bad thing in the world, there are people who will never get past it.
Sure, most pedophiles were once victims. But it is most certainly not true that every victim of a pedophile becomes one - quite the opposite. History is not predestination.
normbc9, as I've written before, everybody is entitled to their own opinions - but not their own facts.
Pangloss
Postscript: I trust this post will not be twisted by anyone to accuse me of apologizing for or excusing pedophiles or other abusers. This post is about being accurate and knowing the facts when we write something we claim to be fact.
- p