So Do you sleep with your children?

[VanIsle]

This topic should be easy but...

It was a sore point in my marriage.. I was dead against our kids in bed and my ex wanted our newborn to sleep with us so she could more easily breast feed him.. To me that was just laziness..

There are many reasons I would not want a child in bed and only a few exceptions..

Personally I would love to have split beds anyway.. Two beds together so I can sleep a much better as I am such a light sleeper..

Second I was always against having our newborn in bed as I saw it as a dangerous issue.. Then I read an article that confirmed my belief that adults could (and I believe had ) rolled over and suffocate their newborn and that made it even worse..

As to when they get older, it is no doubt a no brainer as far as getting a better sleep.. Both you and your child are much better off in your own beds..

For the most part, what you say is true Francis but there are always situations that change that. I had what we called a "doll crib" that I kept pulled right up beside my bed so that I could just reach over and pick my baby up to feed him in the night. It's not laziness. You have to stay awake (or at least try to) while you feed your baby who goes right back to sleep (if you're lucky) and meanwhile you are now awake and having difficulty going back to sleep. Sometimes I did keep the baby in the bed as I would drift off. My Mom taught me that you keep your baby on the outside of the bed on your outstretched arm as you cannot roll over on an outstretched arm. It works well. I am also a light sleeper so it's unlikely I would ever have rolled over on my child anyway. I can see where my husband could have and I would never have put a baby between us for that reason alone. I have woken in the night gasping for air only to realize that he rolled over on top of me!!! He has no memory of it but he's a deep sleeper. I can vacuum while he sleeps in ths same room.8O

 

[Francis2004]

For the most part, what you say is true Francis but there are always situations that change that. I had what we called a "doll crib" that I kept pulled right up beside my bed so that I could just reach over and pick my baby up to feed him in the night. It's not laziness. You have to stay awake (or at least try to) while you feed your baby who goes right back to sleep (if you're lucky) and meanwhile you are now awake and having difficulty going back to sleep. Sometimes I did keep the baby in the bed as I would drift off. My Mom taught me that you keep your baby on the outside of the bed on your outstretched arm as you cannot roll over on an outstretched arm. It works well. I am also a light sleeper so it's unlikely I would ever have rolled over on my child anyway. I can see where my husband could have and I would never have put a baby between us for that reason alone. I have woken in the night gasping for air only to realize that he rolled over on top of me!!! He has no memory of it but he's a deep sleeper. I can vacuum while he sleeps in ths same room.8O

Again, this is why I hate answering these questions as some parts always get left out as it seems irrelevant.. :angryfire:

Our son was a fantastic baby from the day he was born.. He woke up once a night for feeding and change.. There was no real reason to have him so close and with me being a light sleeper I would usually wake up and have to get my ex up to feed the baby anyway.. It seemed pointless.

 

[El Barto]

This question doesn't really apply to me as I have no kids but , if you ask if my sheets gets sticky .................umm................ no comment :-|

 

[VanIsle]

Again, this is why I hate answering these questions as some parts always get left out as it seems irrelevant.. :angryfire:

Our son was a fantastic baby from the day he was born.. He woke up once a night for feeding and change.. There was no real reason to have him so close and with me being a light sleeper I would usually wake up and have to get my ex up to feed the baby anyway.. It seemed pointless.

Mothers usually need the new born close. Close enough to hear the breathing. I don't sleep with as much as a night light on in my room yet when my youngest was "new" we slept with a night light. After 3 months I moved him into a room with his brother but I never slept soundly until he was about a good 6 months old. I can picture that bedroom with the night light on even today. Odd what memories stay with you.
I so understand the light sleeper part but I would have slept with operating room lights on just to feel he was safe. My husband knew beyond a doubt that I was listening and he slept well. Have you ever heard that old old song "The Railroad Runs Through The Middle of the House"? Well, that could pretty much happen and my husband would ask when it went through! lol My son goes to sleep knowing his son could have a seizure. He appears to be a deep sleeper but he hears him everytime so it isn't just Mom's who listen. You didn't need to feel :angryfire: because I understood what you were saying and I was just telling you how it was with me.
I need someone to come over and finish my dinner dishes, iron my work shirt and curl my hair. Any volunteers? The ferries are finished running for the night you say!!! Darn!

 

[karrie]

What this boils down to, is our modern society trying to limit parent connectedness 'just incase'.

It's bull. Parents need to decide on an individual basis what their child needs, what their marriage needs, etc.

My husband and I shared our bed with our kids quite regularly when they were nursing. It made for a better night's sleep and much more rested, sane, mother.

When the kids hit about five years old the sleeping with us had weaned itself down to virtually non-existent, and our sex life had kicked back into high gear. Now the kids don't even come into our room without knocking, and they're only 9 and 8.

But I wouldn't sit and judge someone who still sleeps with their kids when they have reasons and it works for the family, just because of the small number of people who are twisted, and will find a way to hurt their kids regardless.