where absolutely everything is politicised, and where politicised invariably means oppressive, Caleb Luna ponders the gay hook-up app Grindr, and why he – sorry, they - attracts so little interest:
When not being unhappy and resentful in the pages of Everyday Feminism, the being named Caleb Luna is “a first-year PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, and their work explores the intersections of fatness, desire, fetishism, white supremacy, and colonialism from a queer of colour lens.” So not at all predictable or conformist. Readers wishing to get busy with said being, in a suitably woke and political way, can seek titillation via Twitter.
davidthompson
enjoy the decline
As a fat person, I have rarely received any messages on Grindr, and people frequently don’t respond to my messages.
Conceivably, some users may be familiar with Mr Luna’s written output and its wearying effect. I’m guessing that declaring oneself a they, and a writer for Everyday Feminism, isn’t widely regarded as a potent aphrodisiac.
The only times I’ve been approached on Grindr have been by people who come to the app knowing they’re attracted to my body type. This gives me reason to believe that the same is true for other Grindr users. Most Grindr users have a predetermined body type they are attracted to – a thin one.
In much the same way that fat pornography remains a niche interest. A shocking revelation. Less shocking, however, is that the option of weight loss isn’t explored.
So, while Grindr is discussed as a place where anyone who might be considered a man can find men to have sex with, who are (mostly) looking to have sex with men, this isn’t how my experience has played out.
It’s a sad tale, yes, and about to get sadder.
And while there is certainly nothing stopping me from staying on Grindr, when I get no conversation or dates, it ultimately only takes up space on my phone.
You’ll find tissues at the bar.
That space is better used for pictures of people who actually do love and want me,
Wait for it.
like selfies.
There’s more, of course, on the “privilege” (by which Mr Luna means outrageous unfairness) of some people having more conventionally alluring anatomy and some mastery of their weight, but I think, for now, we’ll just leave it there. And get on with our lives.
When not being unhappy and resentful in the pages of Everyday Feminism, the being named Caleb Luna is “a first-year PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, and their work explores the intersections of fatness, desire, fetishism, white supremacy, and colonialism from a queer of colour lens.” So not at all predictable or conformist. Readers wishing to get busy with said being, in a suitably woke and political way, can seek titillation via Twitter.
davidthompson
enjoy the decline
