I am actually thankful for what the church did to help me when I was young.
What did "the church" (meaning you're either Catholic or Mormon, because those are the only denominations I'm aware of to call themselves "the church") do to help you when you were young?
That does not change my views of their moral position.
What moral position, and when did you decide there was a problem with it?
That makes your psychobabble all wrong. That is generally the case with psychobabble.
Oh really.
So... you're stuck in a love-hate relation with your religion, where on one hand you feel gratitude for the things they did to "help you" when you were young, while on the other hand you have serious issues with their "moral position" now that you're old enough to think about it.
That's the classic dilema of a Recovering Catholic, and it's why they go round-and-round the mullberry bush trying to figure out where everything stands.
Most of the time, the core dilema will be that someone has identified a hypocracy within the administration of their church, which is a problem, because hypocracy is about the only thing Jesus would not forgive.