Florida woman dies after 42 years in coma

[EagleSmack]

My dad wasn't technically in a coma, but for 5 years he couldn't eat, stand, talk or do anything for himself after a major stroke. Shortly after the stroke the hospital gave my mom the choice; with no way to know if he will ever get better you can have him tube fed and see what happens or you can let him go, basically starve him to death. She couldn't let him go.

Once established that he wouldn't improve she couldn't find it in her to pull his feeding tube. She visited him every day. Meanwhile, because there was no quality of life, all of us were hoping he would pass on. Yet 5 years later when he did we still weren't emotionally ready for it.

That was a harsh choice. What a tough decision either way. What spouse would starve their spouse to death.

I hope I never become a burden like that to anyone.

 

[CanIrish]

that is a very touching story... because it shows the real and true love of a mother
and there is nothing like the love of a mother..

 

[SLM]

My dad wasn't technically in a coma, but for 5 years he couldn't eat, stand, talk or do anything for himself after a major stroke. Shortly after the stroke the hospital gave my mom the choice; with no way to know if he will ever get better you can have him tube fed and see what happens or you can let him go, basically starve him to death. She couldn't let him go.

Once established that he wouldn't improve she couldn't find it in her to pull his feeding tube. She visited him every day. Meanwhile, because there was no quality of life, all of us were hoping he would pass on. Yet 5 years later when he did we still weren't emotionally ready for it.

Wow, what an impossible burden to put on a family, to ask them to make that decision.

Far, far different, in my mind, than removing machinery that is keeping people alive like artificially sustaining heart and breathing functions for instance.

But I don't think you ever are prepared for it. We all think we are getting prepared when we have someone we love that has a terminal condition, but we can't 'pre-grieve'.

she looked at her sister and smiled? and sis carried on with her day as usual? that's an odd coma is it not?

I think caregivers of those in a vegetative state project those kind of 'reactions' upon the patient, especially when they have to care for them day in and day out. We always hear things said like "I know they smiled a little" or "I swear I saw a reaction" when in reality there was no higher brain function present. I kind of see it as filling in the gaps of the relationship if you take my meaning.

 

[Dixie Cup]

I think that's why in Canada, most doctors and hospitals encourage people to have a "personal directive" which indicates your wishes. It's then put in the "system" so that should something happen, your wishes are accommodated. It takes the decision-making out of the hands of family who love and care about you but are too emotional to perhaps make the choices you would want. I still don't have one but almost invariably my doctor and, when I've gone to the hospital for tests or whatever, ask me if I have one and encourage me to make one. It's one of the things on my "to-do" list early next year. Also deciding where I want to be put to rest, etc. Hubby and I are now thinking about such stuff so that our relatives don't have to worry about it. Kinda sucks but needs to be done.

JMO

 

[spaminator]

I've heard stories of people who were in comas for years and could see, hear and feel, were unable to communicate. eg. overheard nasty comments by doctors and nurses, rough treatment, etc.

 

[Retired_Can_Soldier]

Bummer. Good thing they kept her alive or she would have missed the internet... Oh nevermind..