Boris prorogues Parliament and visits the Queen to kickstart election campaign

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Brexit and General Election news

Ex-Vote Leave Chair Gisela Stuart says Brexiteers should vote Tory to ensure we leave the EU: Brexit News for Friday 8 November

Written by BrexitCentral

Ex-Vote Leave Chair Gisela Stuart says Brexiteers should vote Tory to ensure we leave the EU

German-born Gisela Stuart is one of three former Labour MPs to urge voters to back Boris Johnson in the next general election this week, as the former Chair of the Vote Leave campaign claimed that the Conservative Party leader is the only viable option for people wanting to leave the EU, Express.co.uk can exclusively reveal. This morning, former Labour MP Ian Austin said Jeremy Corbyn is “completely unfit to lead our country”… His comments were later echoed by John Woodcock, the former Labour MP for Barrow and Furness, who said Labour supporters had to “face up” to the choice of Mr Johnson or Mr Corbyn. As anticipation for the election grows, Express.co.uk can reveal that there is another former Labour MP who believes Leave voters should back Mr Johnson. On Tuesday, Gisela Stuart – who chaired Vote Leave during the 2016 referendum campaign alongside Mr Johnson – told Express.co.uk that in order for Brexit to happen, Britain needs a Government with a majority big enough to govern. Otherwise, Ms Stuart argued, it is possible that Britain’s departure from the bloc will not be delivered. – Express

New Speaker Lindsay Hoyle says he will disallow parliamentary chicanery permitted by Bercow to aid Brexit blockers

The new Speaker says he will not permit the kind of parliamentary manoeuvres recently used to block a no-deal Brexit allowed by his predecessor John Bercow. Sir Lindsay Hoyle said he would not allow the procedures used by MPs to seize control of the agenda. It would make it harder for MPs to derail a government after the election, even if it does not have a majority. Sir Lindsay said he wanted MPs to agree to change the Commons rules to close off those options. Speaking on Nick Robinson’s Political Thinking podcast, Sir Lindsay did not directly criticise Mr Bercow, but said that if he had been Speaker, he would not have allowed the moves permitted by his predecessor to allow amendments to business motions – the motions which set the detailed way in which the Commons structures its debates. – BBC News

‘Remain Alliance’ claims it can win at least 44 seats and stop both a Boris Johnson election win and Brexit…

The ‘Remain Alliance’ of three anti-Brexit parties says it can win “at least 44” seats and deny Boris Johnson an election win – as Labour condemned all “pacts, coalitions or deals”. Detailed polling in the 60 seats where either the Liberal Democrats, the Green Party or Plaid Cymru will stand down in favour of a single candidate shows the vast majority are “highly winnable”, they say. “That would be enough to ensure that Boris Johnson doesn’t have a majority,” said Molly Scott Cato, a Green MEP. But the initiative – the first pact by parties at a British election for 100 years – was met with a furious attack by John McDonnell, Labour’s shadow chancellor. “I remember what the Lib Dems did when they were in government. Go and ask any disabled person in this country who went through the brutality of the work capability assessment,” he said, on the campaign trail in Liverpool. – Independent

…as the Lib Dems are blasted by Tories and Labour as ‘undemocratic’ for their Remain pact with other parties…

The plot was slammed by top Conservatives who said voters would be “angry” at being deprived of a genuine choice in those seats affected. Senior Brexiteer Tory Nigel Evans said: “It’s incredible, but then the election is all about stopping Brexit and they’re throwing everything else to the wolves in order to do that. It’s not about their beliefs. If I was a Lib Dem in an area that just lost their candidate, or a Green that’s just lost their right to vote for their party, they may feel angry. I call it a rotten Remainer alliance. Its anti-democratic and it’s against what the British people voted for.” The Remain Alliance also ran into fierce criticism from Labour candidates, who pointed out several of the seats being targeted are held by strong second referendum campaigners. Senior Labour politician Wes Streeting fumed: “A ‘Remain Alliance’ that targets Labour people with impeccable pro-European credentials is nothing of the sort.” The group said it had invited Jeremy Corbyn to take part but was rebuffed by members of his frontbench team. Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell said: “We will never enter pact, coalitions, or deals like that. Ever.” – The Sun

…and the Tories seek an Electoral Commission inquiry into the pact that threatens their seats

The Conservatives have called on electoral watchdogs to investigate a Remain pact in 60 constituencies where Liberal Democrats will work with the Greens and Welsh nationalists to keep out Tories and Labour. The pact, brokered by campaign group Unite to Remain, will see Lib Dem candidates get a clear run in 43 seats where the Green Party or Welsh nationalists will stand down in a bid to boost the number of Remainer MPs and block Brexit. The Lib Dems will stand aside in 10 seats to clear the way for Green Party candidates, while Plaid Cymru will step aside in seven Welsh constituencies. Among the 32 Conservative constituencies being targeted by the LibDems are seats held by former Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt, Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab, a leading Brexiteer, Zac Goldsmith and Alun Cairns, who quit as Welsh Secretary amid an outcry over a “sabotaged” rape trial. – Telegraph (£)

https://brexitcentral.com/today/brexit-news-for-friday-8-november/

 

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The Leavers are on their way to another huge victory over the Remainers...

Poll of polls suggests Boris Johnson's Conservatives could win HUGE 96-seat majority despite losing five per cent share of the popular vote

Boris Johnson is set to return to Number 10 with an estimated 373 Tory MPs
Jeremy Corbyn is predicted to lose MPs from across the country in the election
The Conservatives are expected to win their majority despite a lower vote share
The poll of poll research has been conducted by Electoral Calculus

By Darren Boyle for MailOnline
9 November 2019

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is facing an electoral wipe out with Boris Johnson set to return to Downing Street with a majority of 96.

At the time the general election was called, the Conservative Party had 298 seats while Labour had 243.

However, according to research conducted by Electoral Calculus, Mr Johnson will return to parliament with 373 MPs - far in excess of the 326 needed for a Commons majority.

The researchers say there is a 60 per cent chance of an overall Conservative majority compared with 12 per cent for Labour.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson is set to sweep Jeremy Corbyn away to victory according to a new poll of poll which predicts the Conservatives securing 373 seats - far in excess of the 326 needed for a majority

Jeremy Corbyn's Labour party is predicted to loose seats in all areas - with heavy defeats predicted in the Midlands and the North

The research by Electoral Calculus suggests that Nigel Farage's Brexit Party will

In 2017, Theresa May lost her majority returning from her snap election with 318 seats with a 43.5 per cent share of the vote.

It is estimated that Mr Johnson will secure 373 seats despite the Conservative share of the vote falling to 38.2 per cent because Labour's 41 per cent share from 2017 will drop to 27.2 per cent.

Nigel Farage's Brexit Party is likely to receive 10 per cent of the vote but will not win any seats, while the Liberal Democrats' 15.9 per cent share could see them with 25 seats.

The figures used by Electoral Calculus are from opinion polls from October 25 to November 4, 2019 in a sample of 15,917 people.

The poll of poll predicts major Labour losses across all parts of England, Scotland and Wales, with many 'traditional' red areas turning blue.

The resurgent Liberal Democrats are expected to make gains in London, the South West, and Scotland.

Across the Midlands, it is predicted that the Conservatives will pick up 21 seats from Labour.

Labour are predicted to drop a further 11 seats in the North West. Over on the North East, things are equally as grim, with four Labour seats under threat - including Tony Blair's former Sedgefield constituency.

In London, Labour is predicted to lose seats to both the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats.

According to social justice campaigners, Labour's woes may be a result of losing the trust of poorer people.

According to the Telegraph, Andy Cook, chief executive of the Centre for Social Justice said: 'We're serving up evidence that low-income Britons make up a big voting bloc in our swing seats. The party leaders need to win them over and, on this evidence, they have a mountain to climb.

'No one comes out well in our survey with most poorer voters having been forgotten by their local canvassers and MP.

'The Labour Party can only muster support from just over a third of the poorest voters and they see Labour as the most out-of-touch of the lot. The evidence shows a major swing from Labour's target voters to the Brexit Party, who seem to take slightly smaller bites out of the Conservatives.'

Mr Corbyn has suffered a number of heavy blows with former home secretary David Blunkett claiming the 'anti-Semitism' and 'thuggery' in the party makes him 'despair'.

Lord Blunkett, who was an MP for 28 years and now sits as a Labour peer in the upper chamber, said the likelihood of Jeremy Corbyn winning a majority was 'extraordinarily slim'.

But he urged moderates within the party to “stay and fight” to ensure the “voice of reason” prevailed, following deputy leader Tom Watson’s decision to stand down.

The former Cabinet minister and party chairman’s comments came after a bruising week for the party which has seen two of its former MPs urge voters to back the Tories instead.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...triumphant-Downing-Street-return-373-MPs.html

 

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Labour support collapses across UK: Fresh poll blow for Jeremy Corbyn as David Blunkett blasts the party's anti-semitism while a frontbencher is revealed to have claimed a WREATH on expenses



Support for Labour is collapsing across the country as Jeremy Corbyn lurches from ones crisis to the next, a new poll has revealed at the end of a disastrous few days for the party. The new YouGov poll shows the Conservatives are pulling ahead in almost every region in the country, including many traditionally leave-voting Labourr heartlands. It comes at the end of a dismal week for Jeremy Corbyn, which has seen the resignation of his deputy Tom Watson, a string of election candidates caught in controversy, a full-frontal attack from the Jewish Chronicle, as well as Rabbi Jonathan Romain savaging the party's battle with anti-Semitism. And there was fresh woe for Labour last night when former Home Secretary David Blunket blasted his party's 'anti-semitism and thuggery', while frontbencher Marsha De Cordova admitted claiming a Remembrance Sunday wreath on expenses last year. The latest YouGov poll of 11,500 voters measured parties level of in regions support across the nation and compared it to the same figured for 2017. They showed Labour support has plummeted by 25 points in the North West to 30 per cent, giving the Conservatives a narrow three point lead. In Yorkshire the same pattern has handed the Tories a five-point lead, giving Boris Johnson's party a lead in every English region apart from London and the North East, despite support for both main parties dropping across the country with more than a month to go until the vote. The Brexit Party's support has also increased, leading many top Brexiteers to call for him to pull the party out of the election to avoid splitting the Tory vote and potentially handing seats to Labour despite their dismal poll figures.

Jeremy Corbyn has made Jews feel unsafe living in Britain: Rabbi Jonathan Romain makes devastating personal plea to voters about what Labour's anti-Semitism crisis means for his fearful congregation



RABBI JONATHAN ROMAIN: I believe that Corbyn poses such a threat to Britain's Jews that it is incumbent on all Jewish leaders to speak out.

Labour former home secretary David Blunkett blasts 'anti-Semitism' and 'thuggery' of Jeremy Corbyn's Labour party and predicts a 1983-style wipeout



Lord Blunkett, who was an MP for 28 years and now sits as a Labour peer in the upper chamber, said the likelihood of Jeremy Corbyn winning a majority was 'extraordinarily slim'.

 

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New poll shows Tories with a 12-point lead over Labour while calamity Jeremy Corbyn stumbles from crisis to crisis



Boris Johnson's uncertain start to the Election campaign has not harmed his party's poll ratings, with the Conservatives maintaining their 12-point lead from last week.

Jeremy Corbyn-supporting union boss behind Christmas rail strikes is filmed calling Jewish activist a 'Nazi' in rant about Israel

The militant leader of the rail union threatening to inflict strike misery at Christmas is accused of 'spewing out racist poison' in an 'antisemitic' tirade against a Jewish activist.

Steve Hedley is facing calls to resign from his £105,000- a-year role as Senior Assistant General Secretary of the Rail, Maritime and Transport Union (RMT) over the outburst at a pro-Palestinian meeting.

Video footage shows the militant Jeremy Corbyn supporter shouting at a defender of Israel, Richard Millett: 'You're an absolute disgrace to the Jewish people. You are a modern-day fascist, you are a modern-day Nazi, by supporting those policies that oppress a… minority in your own state.'

 

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TONY PARSONS Nigel Farage’s election threat is not a political strategy – it’s a suicide mission that could let Corbyn into No10

Comment
Tony Parsons
9 Nov 2019

NO, Nigel, No! The Farage threat to stand Brexit Party candidates in 600 seats will not deliver Brexit – but it could easily deliver Jeremy Corbyn’s Marxist rabble into 10 Downing Street.

This General Election is the last chance for this country to make good on the 2016 Referendum result.

Nigel Farage's 'strategy' to stand Brexit Party candidates in 600 seats will kill any chance of Brexit actually happening Credit: AFP or licensors

Instead he will dissipate the Leave vote and easily deliver Jeremy Corbyn’s Marxist rabble into 10 Downing Street Credit: Getty

Unlike Boris Johnson, I do not believe that the dither and delay will carry on if he does not return to Downing Street with a working majority.

I reckon anything other than a Tory victory kills Brexit stone dead.

If Labour gets in, Brexit will not be declared dead immediately. There will be some half-hearted nod to democracy with yet another referendum.

But the fix will be in.

If Brexit is not done NOW then it will just be a dead Brexit walking.

If this country does not return Boris Johnson with an emphatic majority, then Brexit will have failed.

And quite frankly, Brexit will deserve to fail. We have had YEARS to get this thing done.

Nigel Farage says he wants a “clean break” from the European Union but the only clean break I see Nigel offering is a clean break in Brexit’s neck.

Look, we all have our own vision of what constitutes Brexit.

For me, a real Brexit is one that allows our country to strike trade deals around the world.

That is why Theresa May’s rotten deal was green Kryptonite to so many Brexiteers. It effectively trapped us inside the EU but removed our voice — the worst of both worlds.

But the deal that Boris has brought back from Brussels — against all the odds and against the prediction of every pundit — frees us from the EU in a way that Mrs May never could.

I understand Nigel’s belief that it is not a pure, perfect Brexit because, for a start, it places an invisible customs border between the mainland and Northern Ireland.

But does anyone seriously believe there will ever be a better deal than the one Boris has placed on the table?

And does anyone doubt that Labour will do anything other than sneakily cancel Brexit?

And does anyone reckon that the Brexit Party’s dream of a “clean break” could ever come to pass?

Dream on, Nigel. If you want Brexit to happen, then you vote Tory in this General Election. Voting for the Brexit Party, and dissipating the Leave vote, does not help our country.

It only helps this disgusting excuse for a Labour Party.

Realistically this election comes down to two options - Tory and get Brexit, or Labour and remain Credit: Getty

Voting for the Brexit Party, whatever noble intentions are behind your vote, helps usher in Labour scumbags who despise this country and have always sided with anyone who hates us.

It would be a national tragedy if working-class Leave constituencies across the country were gifted to mealy-mouthed Remain MPs because the Tories and the Brexit Party are busy clawing each other’s eyes out.

That is not a political strategy, Nigel. That is a suicide mission.

I understand Nigel’s defiance. He has never been given the credit he deserves for this country’s long and painful march to independence.

Nigel has been an eloquent, unswerving advocate of British sovereignty. He has also been a wise, witty and entertaining thorn in the pot bellies of unelected Brussels fat cats.

But now is the hour for Nigel Farage — and for all of us — to decide what we really believe, and what we truly want for our country.

KAMIKAZE STANCE

Is the fight for a “pure, clean” Brexit really worth letting the friends of Hamas, Hezbollah and the IRA into Downing Street?

Is the dream of a Brexit that is untainted by any political compromise really worth a Labour government more extremist than anything we have ever experienced in our history?

“It’s not Brexit!” Nigel says of Boris’s deal. But it is the only Brexit on offer.

And if we do not grab it with both hands, then all the frustrations, divisions and poison of the last few years are for absolutely nothing.
It is this Brexit or no Brexit. It is vote Tory or get Labour.

No Deal may work out fine in Nigel’s dreams, but it will always wither and die in the real world.

In the interests of our nation, Mr Farage needs to swallow some pride and soften his kamikaze stance.

And if he will not see sense, then patriotic Brexit Party candidates must do it for him.

Nigel’s place in our nation’s history is assured. I hope he will be remembered as a true British patriot.

And not as the man who opened the door to let Jeremy Corbyn into 10 Downing Street.

Terror? I've seen scarier spiders

THE new BBC version of HG Wells’ classic The War Of The Worlds, starring Poldark’s fabulous Eleanor Tomlinson, features giant spindly-legged Martians who are not quite as scary as a spider lurking around your bathtub plughole.

From Orson Welles to Tom Cruise, War Of The Worlds needs a sense of terror.

The BBC's adaptation of War Of The Worlds doesn't quite deliver on terror Credit: BBC

These weedy mechanical Martians look like they failed an audition for Doctor Who.

I don’t know about aliens. But is there any intelligent life in the BBC drama department?

It's a rev-fur-lution

THE younger royals talk an awful lot about changing the world.

But with her customary quiet dignity, the Queen actually does it. Her Majesty’s decision to no longer wear real fur on her new clothes is a huge moment in the way this country treats animals.

At 93, the Queen shows the way forward.

Now if only the rest of her *amily would stop shooting living creatures for fun.

Bercow's betrayal

SPOILER alert. It turns out that former Commons Speaker John Bercow was secretly against Brexit all along!

Who would have guessed it from the wee man’s scrupulously unbiased handling of parliamentary procedure over the past few years?

Former Speaker John Bercow has confirmed what we knew all along - that he is against Brexit Credit: AP:Associated Press

Bercow dropped his bombshell revelation while talking to a pack of gobsmacked foreign journalists.

“I don’t have to remain impartial now,” he confessed. “Brexit is the biggest foreign policy mistake in the post-war period.”

What? Bigger than Tony Blair’s invasion of Iraq? That pointless war cost the lives of 179 British servicemen and women and put out the red carpet for the rise of IS.

Bercow should pay a visit to some of the military who lost their limbs in Blair’s obscenely unnecessary war and explain to them why Brexit is worse than invading Iraq.

He could wear his “B*****ks To Brexit” sticker.

'The fight of the decade'

IF this weekend’s boxing bout between YouTube rivals Logan Paul and KSI was “the fight of the decade”, then I am going to start watching the netball.

A little gratitude is in order

BREAKING news – Daniel Craig insists he is not a grumpy old git. The 007 actor says he comes from the old school where artists “didn’t look for approval . . .  or likes”.

Fair enough. But Craig acts as if playing James Bond is a chore.

Daniel Craig insists he isn't a grumpy old git but he acts as if playing James Bond is a chore Credit: Kobal Collection - Rex Features

He gives every impression of despising Ian Fleming’s iconic character, who he calls a “misogynist”.

A hater of women? Really?

It was old downbeat Dan who said he would “rather slash his wrists” than do another Bond film after Spectre – and then carried on glumly taking the big bucks.

Many of us hardcore Bond fans consider Craig to be the greatest screen 007 of all time.

You don’t have to be a twinkling ray of sunshine, Daniel. But a little gratitude and grace might be in order.

End is surely Unai

DURING a botched robbery, a moped mugger jabbed a long metal spike inches from the face of Arsenal’s Sead Kolasinac – and the big Bosnian defender did not flinch, retreat or bat an eyelid.

And if Arsenal can muster just some of that fighting spirit on the pitch, then the *Gunners’ hapless Spanish *manager Unai Emery might even keep his job until Christmas.

What about ordinary Londoners?

This is personalised for you. Manage these settings at the bottom of this page.

OUR increasingly politicised justice system has proclaimed that the police acted unlawfully stopping protests by Extinction Rebellion – a green light for compensation claims against the Met.

Any chance of compensation for all the ordinary Londoners who have had their lives and work disrupted by Extinction Rebellion? No, I didn’t think so.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10312802/tony-parsons-farage-corbyn-political-suicide/

 

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TREVOR KAVANAGH Pro-Communist Jeremy Corbyn as PM would be a hammer blow to Britain’s national security — he must not slip into No10

Comment
Trevor Kavanagh
11 Nov 2019
The Sun

THE world this weekend registered two landmark events that changed our lives for the better – but sadly not for ever.

Yesterday, Remembrance Sunday honoured the dead who enabled the victory of good over evil in two world wars, while Saturday recalled the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, freeing half of Europe from Soviet imprisonment.


Pro-Communist Jeremy Corbyn as PM would be a hammer blow to Britain — he must not slip into No10, writes Trevor Kavanagh

The two are closely linked. Both involve the rise and fall of totalitarianism. Neither will be warmly celebrated by the hard-left Momentum Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn dreams of leading to power.

This lifelong pro-Communist “pacifist” and his Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell are better known for cheering Britain’s enemies than its allies.

A Labour candidate spoke for both men in her Facebook attack on the Poppy Appeal for soldiers wounded and killed defending this country.

Mhairi Threlfall, fighting a Tory-held seat in Gloucestershire, described the poppy in 2014 as a token for “legalised mass murder” and the “blatant glorification of war”.

“I shouldn’t have posted this,” she said in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday. On the contrary, Mhairi, you did us all a favour.

On the day millions stood in silence to honour the dead, you reminded voters no government led by Jeremy Corbyn will fulfil its first duty — to defend the nation.

On the day Army chief General Nick Carter warned of the threat from aggressive Kremlin boss Vladimir Putin, you reminded us of Corbyn’s silence over Russian murder on the streets of Britain.

Scourge of terror and starvation

Russia is flexing its muscles in Ukraine, occupying Crimea and testing Western resolve over the survival of three ex-Soviet Baltic states clinging to the European Union for protection.

Its regular forays into our sea and air space risk tipping the West into an accidental World War Three. Whose side would Jeremy be on then? Not ours for sure.

General Carter hailed the Nato military alliance which has kept the peace in Europe for 70 years — and warned it could only survive if member states pay their share of its costs.

“If you don’t prepare for the war you might have to fight, there is a risk you will lose the war you are trying to avoid,” he said yesterday.

Would Prime Minister Corbyn cough up billions for Nato to protect the UK against his mates in Moscow? Not likely.

Nor, it seems, would he use nuclear weapons to defend Britain. Labour defence mouthpiece Nia Griffith backed Trident but refused to say Mr Corbyn would push the button.

In 35 years as an MP, Corbyn has voted against every military action proposed by a UK government. Worryingly, younger voters might approve of this.

Alarmed by Corbyn victory

Leftie history teachers tend to play down Communist atrocities, while focusing on the menace of fascism.

A Survation poll found the overwhelming majority knew about Nazi leader Adolf Hitler, yet barely a quarter had heard of Soviet dictator Josef Stalin, who presided over twice as many deaths.

Astonishingly, 70 per cent of first- or second-time voters knew nothing of Communist China’s Mao Zedong, whose scourge of terror and starvation cost 45million lives — twice as many again.

Corbyn may not be very bright, but even he must know these hideous statistics.

Yet you will never hear a word of criticism from him about Russia, a real and present military threat to Western Europe, or China, which is steadily buying up the world.

No wonder the Jewish community is alarmed by the prospect of an anti-Semitic Corbyn victory. No wonder traditional Labour voters are following rebel MP Ian Austin’s advice not just to vote AGAINST Corbyn but to vote FOR Boris Johnson.

No wonder ex-Labour Home Secretary David Blunkett has denounced the Corbyn machine’s “thuggery”. So, how can any self-respecting Labour MP campaign to put Corbyn in No10?

Where does this leave Stephen Kinnock, or Keir Starmer, or finger-wagging Yvette Cooper, who in 2016 led the battle to oust Corbyn as leader — only to rally to his side once defeated?

How dare they risk helping him slip into Downing Street by a side door?

Why don’t they do the right thing by the British people — and give Labour one last chance to break free from the pernicious gang of militant Momentum extremists who invaded their party?

CORB SPLURGE FURY

CORBYN stooges are furious over claims of a £1.2TRILLION Labour spending spree.

They insist it just means shifting privately owned assets such as the railways and water works on to the public books.

Nobody will notice the difference.

But we will notice as our savings and pensions evaporate in a flash.

The super-rich who pay most tax will be on the first jet out, with their cash switched offshore at the stroke of a computer key.

Forget about that spending spree. Forget about everything. We will be on our knees begging for aid.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10319131/jeremy-corbyn-pm-hammer-blow-britain-vote-boris-johnson/

 

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General Election news

VAZ OUT

SHAMED Labour MP Keith Vaz has announced he is quitting Parliament after his cocaine and rent boy scandal.

The married-father-of-two is standing down as MP for Leicester East after 32 years in the job.

His dramatic departure comes after the Commons sleaze watchdog found “compelling evidence” that he paid two men for sex and offered to buy cocaine for rent boys.

BORIS Johnson has fired the Tories to a 13-point lead over Labour as Jeremy Corbyn was rocked by a candidate crisis last week.

This comes as Boris Johnson is now open to an election deal with the Brexit Party after Tory chiefs held secret last-minute talks with Nigel Farage’s team.

TORY MAJORITY SLASHED

The odds of a Tory majority have been slashed by Ladbrokes over the weekend.

A hung parliament was the most likely scenario according to the betting last week, but the bookies are reporting a fair move towards a Tory majority by punters over the weekend, forcing them to cut odds to just 4/6.

Alex Apati of Ladbrokes said: “A Tory majority now seems the most likely outcome at the next General Election with punters seemingly now convinced a hung parliament won't be the case.”

Ladbrokes Latest Betting

Overall Majority

Conservative Majority – 4/6
No Overall Majority – 11/8
Labour Majority – 20/1

GATHER ROUND THE TABLE

The Shadow Foreign Secretary even hinted this morning that a Corbyn-led government would make collective decisions about whether to use nukes in a time of crisis.

Thornberry told Good Morning Britain: “I don’t necessarily believe that will be a decision made by one individual. I suspect that the way that Jeremy makes decisions is that he takes advice and we work collectively.”

In the excruciating interview, she refused to say whether Labour will use nuclear weapons if it got into power.

She said: “Nobody knows how they will use it whether they would use it because it has such extraordinary force and millions of people can be killed.

“If we are in circumstances where we are under threat it's impossible for any human to say whether they would be able to kill millions.”

Ms Thornberry said Margaret Thatcher and other politicians refused to say whether they would hit the nuclear button if they had to.
The Labour boss Jeremy Corbyn has said in the past he would never use it.

When asked what Britain and Jeremy Corbyn would do if a country threatened to bomb London, she replied: “Who knows?”

Johnny Mercer, Defence Minister hit back at the interview this morning.

He said: “If Jeremy Corbyn is unable to make crucial decisions to keep our country safe, he is not fit to be Prime Minister.

“The fact that the Shadow Foreign Secretary is openly speculating that her leader could be overruled by a committee on a matter as fundamental as using our nuclear deterrent shows just how weak Jeremy Corbyn really is. Even his closest colleagues don't trust him.”

'WHAT A DISGRACE'

It comes after Jeremy Corbyn was slammed for failing to show up at a Festival of Remembrance to honour Brit hero soldiers over the weekend.

The Labour leader's absence sparked outrage among members of the public – who blast the move as “a spectacular own goal” by the party.

Shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry was at the event but no shows by Corbyn and his right hand man John McDonnell left many furious.

HMM, GIVE ME A MINUTE

Labour's Shadow Foreign Secretary Emily Thornberry has been on the airwaves today.

She was asked what, if any, of Britain's military missions the leftie boss has supported.

She admitted she couldn't think of any off the top of her head…

NO TIME TO WASTE

Or is there? The i newspaper reports today that the Tory manifesto isn't anywhere near being published.

Instead they will unveil policies throughout the campaign to try and get more media coverage.

Labour are set to launch theirs next week after a special summit of the party at the weekend.

YELLOW MAGIC MONEY TREE

The Lib Dems are proposing a £10,000 skills fund to pay for extra training for people throughout their lives.

Interesting that it's almost the same amount they tripled tuition fees to back in 2012…

VETERANS RAILCARD

We are introducing a new Veterans' Railcard, giving those who've served our country a third off their travel. We will continue to support veterans and recognise their service to our country.https://t.co/ZA7e8wTYcz
— Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) November 10, 2019
​

The Tories also revealed yesterday a new veterans railcard, giving a third off travel for those who have served.

And they are promising extra childcare to military families too.

Labour is vowing improved support for forces kids, and better wages.

END TO COURT CHASE FOR NORTHERN IRELAND VETS

Today Boris Johnson vows to tear up human rights laws to stop British Northern Ireland vets from being hounded through the courts.

The PM said he will amend the Human Rights Act in a major victory for The Sun’s Never Forget Them campaign.

Up to 1,000 vets are facingfresh legal probes as officials reinvestigate all 302 Army killings over four decades.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10317127/election-news-today-live-tories-poll-latest/

 

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The Brexit Party has announced that it will not stand candidates in the 317 seats won by the Conservatives at the 2017 general election.

Party leader Nigel Farage said standing candidates across the country could increase the chances of another EU referendum taking place.

But he said the party would stand against all other parties - and focus on taking seats off Labour.

He had previously pledged to field more than 600 election candidates.

Explaining his decision to supporters in Hartlepool, Mr Farage said Boris Johnson had recently signalled a "big shift of position" in his approach to Brexit.

He cited pledges by the PM not to extend the planned transition period beyond 2020, and to seek further divergence from EU rules in a post-Brexit trade deal.

Mr Johnson welcomed the move, calling it "a recognition that there's only one way to get Brexit done, and that's to vote for the Conservatives".

But Tory chairman James Cleverly added there was still a "danger" the Brexit Party could split the vote in target seats, leading to the election of MPs who could "frustrate the Brexit process".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2019-50377396

 

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Lib Dems Caught Lying About Taxpayers’ Money. The Liberal Democrats and Sam Gyimah announced a new policy to give each adult £10,000 for education and skills. But the policy is flawed as it’ll increase taxation and debt. We also look at the Labour Party and the issue with their computers where they blamed Russians for it. Brexit and democracy is truly at risk with these people.

 

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Mahyar Tousi and former Ukip MP Douglas Carswell discuss the elite/Remainer mindset, bias in the Remainstream media, Boris and Corbyn

 

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Boris Johnson surges to a 14-point lead over Labour following Nigel Farage's decision to pull candidates out of Conservative seats - but allies still want Brexit party to stand down in marginals

Boris Johnson has surged to a 14 point poll lead over Jeremy Corbyn after Nigel Farage announced the Brexit Party will stand aside in seats won by the Tories in 2017. Mr Farage tore up his election strategy yesterday as he said the Brexit Party will give the Tories a clear run in 317 constituencies on December 12. That decision appears to have had a massive impact on the election campaign with the Tories now polling at 42 per cent while Labour is back on 28 per cent. Mr Farage's support dropped six points on last week, putting the Brexit Party on 4 per cent according to the poll taken on Monday and Tuesday this week. The poll deliberately excluded the Brexit Party in the Tory-held seats where Mr Farage will not stand against Conservatives, explaining the drop in support.

Australia will curb intelligence sharing with Britain if Jeremy Corbyn becomes PM, warns former envoy



Alexander Downer, the recent high commissioner to London, predicted the Labour leader's 'hostility to Western interests' would see Australian premier Scott Morrison curb intelligence sharing.

 

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On the campaign trail, Brexit Party leader Niger Farage today visited a boxing club in London and met famous boxer Derek Chisora.

Nigel Farage came out swinging at his critics this afternoon as he insisted he will not stand down any more of his Brexit Party candidates at the general election.

Mr Farage paid a visit to a boxing club in London and declared he had weathered a series of 'very heavy blows' in recent days after he announced his decision to pull out of 317 Tory-held seats.

He is under growing pressure to go even further and scrap plans to contest Labour-held Leave-backing marginal seats which will be key Tory targets on December 12.

But Mr Farage today refused to budge as he said he would not give into what he described as 'intimidation' ahead of a 4pm deadline tomorrow to declare candidates.

Moving around the boxing ring with his fists raised in a fighting stance, Mr Farage said his party would contest all remaining non-Tory seats.

He told activists: 'We are back in the ring again. A lot of people over the last week have tried to land some very heavy blows on me, virtually everybody in establishment politics, many sections of the media.

'But I tell you what, we are still there, we are still moving.'

Asked if he intended to withdraw his candidates from Labour-held seats, Mr Farage replied: 'No, that is just an attempt at intimidation that has come from elements of the press.

'We are going to take on all of the Remainers who are standing in this country.'

He added: 'We're going to stand against every single one of them.'


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...didates-stand-election-vows-Nigel-Farage.html

 

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Hillary Clinton claims Margaret Thatcher wasn't a real woman

Local Liberal Democrats in Canterbury are working with Labour to have a Remain alliance by standing down their candidate, Tim Walker. But Lib Dem HQ and leader Jo Swinson aren’t too happy. On the other hand, Gina Miller has created a new website, Remain United, to help Remainers vote tactically to stop Brexiteers and the Conservatives. If their plan works, they can stop Brexit by either revoking article 50 or having a second referendum, people’s vote. In other news, Hillary Clinton has written a new book about women but didn’t include Margaret Thatcher. She was interviewed by the BBC on this.

 

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Meanwhile, in Glasgow today Corbyn was accused of being a terrorist sympathiser by a member of the public:

 

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QUENTIN LETTS Politicians can say what they want, claim the sky is about to fall and even bonk like a bonobo… the public don’t care

Comment
Quentin Letts
14 Nov 2019
The Sun

THUNDERBOLTS! Scandals!! Ruses and sound bites, pivots and plans!!!

As you will have noticed, there is no shortage of *exclamation marks during a General Election campaign.

Emily Thornberry’s Fag Ash Lil routine on Good Morning Britain went unnoticed by the electorateCredit: refer to caption. YOU decide!
Voting in the election opens in
It is, we are told, a time of strategy grids, artfully staged rallies and cunning “dead-cat” tactics when mire-stricken candidates try to distract our attention after stepping in some political cowpat.

Then there are the TV debates with their practised evasions, their wardrobe calculations — was my hair all right, luvvie? — and the endless post-debate squabbles over who “won” and who had a shocker.

Officially they’ve been at it only nine days and there is still the worst part of a month to go. Already the hyperbole levels have reached warp factor ten and our political class is in a state of advanced neurosis. Conservative Party campaign HQ is full of koala-eyed young analysts by 5.30am each day.

Arron Banks has been shrieking at Nigel Farage that there are “only 48 hours to save Brexit” — and that must have been at least two days ago. Emily Thornberry has been doing her Fag-Ash Lil routine on Good Morning Britain, pushing away questions with a flap of her scarlet-varnished hands.

Don’t watch, children. She’ll only put you off your *breakfast.

BONK LIKE A BONOBO

Meanwhile, Gloria Swinson has been on to Magnet *Kitchens to order herself a new cooker for the PM’s living quarters at 10 Downing Street.

Apparently the Lib Dems are going to form a majority *government. Their voters are just hiding in the bushes from the opinion pollsters at the moment. Don’t want to peak too soon.

Policy initiatives, instant rebuttals, image revamps, whizzy placards. Does any of this stuff impress us? Nope.

Politicians, who supposedly pride themselves on being in touch with the public, have *forgotten the most important thing in national life.

You can say what you want, claim the sky is about to fall in, come up with the most dynamic slogans and even bonk like a bonobo monkey and fiddle like Yehudi *Menuhin (need one mention Keith Vaz?), and the great British public, by and large, will shrug.
Much of the time we really couldn’t give a fig.

It’s a free country. If *politicians want to make fools of themselves, let them do so.

So long as we don’t have to pay attention. And by the sounds of it, we’re not.

Jacob Rees-Mogg’s blunder over the Grenfell tragedy was one of the few election headlines people recallCredit: Universal News & Sport (Europe)

Not a single candidate has bonked like a bonobo monkey . . . but voters probably wouldn’t care anyway Credit: Getty - Contributor

Four out of every ten of us can’t remember a single *incident, event or story from the last few days, according to a poll released by Lord *Ashcroft this week.

The most memorable *incident was Jacob Rees-Mogg’s blunder over Grenfell — and only one in 20 people remembers that.

Even in a landslide election the number of swing voters is pretty small. Electioneering is even less energy efficient than wind farms.

For all that canvassing, *leafletting and postering, for all the handshakes and rosettes and selfies and town-hall hustings, remarkably few *punters change their minds between the start and end of an election campaign.

Most of us probably know what we think of Boris and Corbyn, and no Barry *Gardiner interview on the Marr *programme or Matt Hancock Facebook ad is going to change our view.

Opinion polls rise and fall, yes. But if you think people always tell opinion pollsters the truth, I’m afraid you are *touchingly naive.

This does not stop the *politicians. Making a palaver is what they do, just as sparrows chirrup and goats bleat.

Party leaders have been *tearing around the country, leaping off their battle buses to pose for photographs, kiss babies, sip a pint of bitter and then hop back on the bus, grinning like dopes.

It all happens at such a crazy pace they look like one of those speeded-up segments in a Benny Hill show.

Not that the Green Party have a battle bus. It’s a fart- fuelled tandem for them.

Next time you see Boris Johnson or Jeremy Corbyn on the campaign trail, try humming Benny’s old Yakety Sax theme tune. The whole farce makes more sense that way.

No one has yet said, “Hello, Cardiff” when in fact addressing a crowd in Aberdeen but it may only be a matter of days. No one has yet tripped off a TV studio podium, as that born clown Ed Miliband did in 2015 — what a gift to comedy he was with his bacon sarnie and his chiselled EdStone — but there remains plenty of time.

LIVES ARE RUINED

Will Boris be photographed with his flies open? Will Nicola Sturgeon meet her namesake at a fish market?

Will Jacob Rees-Mogg be recorded singing My Old Man’s A Dustman? We might even get to see Chuka Umunna meeting the working classes of, er, Westminster and the City of London.

That’s where man-of-the-people Chuka is standing for the Lib Dems. He’ll be the Che Guevara of Mayfair.

One day the campaign focus is on the NHS, the next day it is foreign affairs, or education or the environment.

Spin doctors, jaws flexing with anxiety, angrily assert the importance of each detail of policy proposals and keep their stump events secret until the final moment.

They obsess over the tiniest particulars, as though each sub-paragraph bullet point is the Battle of Waterloo.

Minor party leaders threaten legal action if they are not given the airtime they think they deserve. And then there are the rows about nasty things said by obscure *candidates on their social media feeds, often years ago.

Careers are splintered like kindling. Lives are ruined. Yet none of it has any clear impact on voting intentions.

Break this to them gently but almost everything they do in a General Election *campaign may be pointless.
Even the manifestos.

In 2017 it was said that Theresa May threw away the Tory majority by publishing her social care policies.

They certainly were not *popular. But people leapt on those policies as an excuse not to support a prime minister who was, they had rapidly spotted, a humourless bore.

That’s what drives voting choices. The rest is just *displacement activity, bone-wearying twaddle and noise.

No one would remember if one of the candidates fiddled like Yehudi *Menuhin . . . even shamed Keith VazCredit: News Group Newspapers Ltd

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10341...ade-you-change-your-vote-nope-didnt-think-so/

 

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Owen Paterson: The EU is the enemy of science, innovation and technology. Post-Brexit, we can finally lead the world

In his speech on the future of Conservative environmental policy today, Boris Johnson will highlight why it is only by leaving the EU that we can fully realise the potential of the UK as an environmental leader by harnessing “the power of science, innovation and technology.” He is right. Brexit undoubtedly represents an enormous opportunity for UK environmentalism, precisely because the EU has stood squarely against “science, innovation and technology” for decades. – Owen Paterson for the Telegraph (£)

Robert Tombs: This Brexit election will decide if we can call ourselves a true democracy

Few general elections can properly be described as historic. Fewer still mark a watershed in the way we are governed – perhaps one a century. In 1831, the victory of the Whigs under Earl Grey ensured that the old constitution would be reformed and a slow movement towards popular government began. The election of 1910, won by the Liberals, marked a victory of “the People” over “the Peers” and heralded full democracy. And now the election of 2019 will decide whether that 
very democracy, created so slowly 
and so painfully, can still function in 21st-century Europe. – Robert Tombs for the Telegraph (£)

 

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Fake Nurse! Labour withdraws election broadcast featuring 'health worker' slamming Tory policies after it emerges she is an ACTRESS - not a real medic

The 30-second clip was broadcast in Wales on the BBC, ITV and S4C on Tuesday featuring a nurse wearing a NHS-issue blue tunic. She slams the Conservative Party for trying to 'sell the NHS to Donald Trump' and promises to increase funding for the Health Service. But Labour have been forced to withdraw the party political broadcast after someone pointed out the nurse was an actress. Broadcast guidelines in the run-up to elections state: 'The use of reconstructions or actors in a broadcast must be made clear to the audience'.

Lord Buckethead is dead... long live Count Binface! Ballot box warrior who has stood against Prime Ministers in elections since 1987 announces 'promotion' to fight Boris Johnson

Lord Buckethead has stood against Prime Ministers in elections for over 30 years
Various people have portrayed character since it stood against Maggie Thatcher
Took its name from a 1984 film Gremloids but film creator has recently objected
Says after 'battle on Planet Copyright' character will rebrand as Count Binface
The Count will take on Boris Johnson constituency of Uxbridge & South Ruislip

By Rod Ardehali For Mailonline
15 November 2019

The human behind Lord Buckethead's 2017 election campaign against Theresa May is set to run in Boris Johnson's constituency under a new alias.

Jon Harvey will stand in the Prime Minister's constituency of Uxbridge and South Ruislip as Count Binface, citing 'an unpleasant battle on the planet Copyright' as the reason for his regeneration.

Mr Harvey won 249 votes in May's constituency two-and-a-half years ago as Lord Buckethead, a character from Gremloids, a 1984 film, but reportedly gave up the role after discussions with the film's creator.

Take out the trash? Count Binface aims to defeat Prime Minister Boris Johnson in the election

Count Binface – described in a statement as 'independent space warrior and prospective parliamentary candidate for Uxbridge and South Ruislip' and 'Leader of the Recyclons' – will campaign to bring back Ceefax, as well as fighting for 'a cleaner, greener galaxy'.

Addressing his return, Count Binface added 'I predicted that Brexit would be a s***show and so it proved.'

Jon Harvey previously fought Theresa May as Lord Buckethead, seen here on US TV in 2017

Count Binface released a video yesterday talking of fighting against Boris Johnson in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip area

And while Count Binface's attention will no doubt be fixed in part on the Prime Minister, a more personal battle could be on the horizon with another Lord Buckethead running in the same constituency, this time for The Official Monster Raving Loony Party.

'I look forward to both the hustings and to challenging the new 'Lord Buckethead' to take part in a Receptacle-to-Receptacle debate,' Count Binface said.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...head-2017-election-run-PM-s-constituency.html

 

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Chances of Labour majority almost zero, claims polling expert John CurticeI

Written by: Kevin Schofield Posted On: 14th November 2019

Labour’s chances of winning a majority in the general election are virtually zero, according to the UK’s top polling guru.

Professor Sir John Curtice said the party’s ongoing slump in Scotland meant the best Jeremy Corbyn could hope for is to lead a minority government.

He also claimed that the election was now a “binary contest” between a majority Tory government delivering Brexit and a Labour-led coalition calling a second EU referendum.

Sir John said that up until 2010, Labour was guaranteed to send at least 40 Scottish MPs to Westminster.

But now, with Labour defending just seven seats north of the Border, he said that results there are “potentially fundamental” to Boris Johnson’s chances of winning on 12 December.

He said: “The chances of the Labour Party winning a majority are frankly as close to zero as one can safely say it to be given they look utterly incapable of regaining anything in Scotland.”

Sir John’s comments are at odds with John McDonnell’s claim at the start of the election campaign that Labour is aiming to win an overall Commons majority.

Elsewhere, the Strathclyde University academic said that the most likely outcome to the election, based on current opinion polls, was a majority Conservative government.

But he added: “This is a pretty binary contest. Either Boris gets a majority and we’re leaving the EU on the terms he’s negotiating, or we get a hung Parliament in which case we have to anticipate that a minority Labour administration which will apply for an extension and there will be a referendum, the result of which we do not know.”

However, he said that Labour’s policy on Brexit - which is to renegotiate a new deal with Brussels and hold another referendum next summer - could end up being a drag on their support at the election.

“The problem the Labour Party has is they’ve tried to satisfy everybody and have ended up satisfying nobody,” he said.

https://politicshome.com/news/uk/po...86/chances-labour-majority-almost-zero-claims

 

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TONY PARSONS Jeremy Corbyn lives in a world where our enemies — no matter how barbaric — are always the goodies

COMMENT
Tony Parsons
16 Nov 2019
The Sun

JEREMY CORBYN a pacifist? Do me a favour! No chum of Hamas, Hezbollah and the IRA is a pacifist.

The Labour leader has no *objection to murderous violence, just as long it is being done by the *enemies of our country. Corbyn dismissed the Falklands War as a “Tory plot.”

Jeremy Corbyn is not a pacifist, he is dangerous

Corbyn said he would not have killed Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi

He attended a wreath-laying ceremony for Palestinian terrorists who castrated and murdered Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics.

The old booby was surprisingly understanding when two of Vladimir Putin’s thugs were poisoning Russian exiles on the streets of Salisbury.

Do you see a pattern emerging?

Jeremy Corbyn has a soft spot for violence, just as long as it is being used by the heroic freedom fighters of the IRA, Palestine and Russia.

But God forbid that the wicked British should ever defend themselves! Since Corbyn became an MP in 1983, he has voted against every military action proposed by a British Government.

Corbyn is a counterfeit man of peace. Because for almost half a century he has been the *useful idiot of terrorists.

In 1984, just two weeks after the IRA nearly succeeded in murdering a British government in Brighton, Jeremy invited representatives of the IRA and Sinn Fein to Westminster for tea and biscuits.

Corbyn has even been unequivocal about 9/11, the greatest terrorist atrocity of our time.

COUNTERFEIT MAN

Three years ago, tweeting on the 15th anniversary, the Labour leader wrote: “My thoughts are with those whose lives were shattered on 9/11/2001 — and in the wars and terror unleashed across the globe in its aftermath.”

Why could Corbyn not limit his thoughts to the 3,000 men, women and children — never forget the children who died in terror on those doomed planes — who lost their lives on 9/11?

The answer is — because in a secret chamber of his chicken heart, Jeremy Corbyn always believes that the wicked West has got it coming.

Because the nauseating old *armchair revolutionary is never, ever on our side. Because Corbyn always carries a candle for those who would do us harm.

Corbyn is best friends forever to men who would dance on the graves of everything and everyone we love.

So there is no surprise that *Corbyn thought that IS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi should have been “arrested.”

Even though the jihadist monster was wearing a suicide vest when he was cornered by American special forces and killed himself and three of his children when he detonated it.

How do you “arrest” a man in a suicide vest, Jeremy? How would you do it in Islington? With great difficulty, I suggest.

What world does Jeremy Corbyn live in? It is a world where the *racist, colonialist, capitalist West is always in the wrong. A world where our enemies — no matter how barbaric — are always the goodies.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi lorded it over a caliphate that matched Nazi Germany in its *murderous cruelty. And Corbyn thinks the evil *bastard should have been arrested.

Even when children were blown apart at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester in 2017, Corbyn linked the slaughter to the West’s foreign policy in the Middle East, bleating that Labour would “change what we do abroad”.

MURDEROUS CRUELTY

That must have been an enormous comfort to all the parents whose children were ripped to pieces at a pop concert.

But then there are no real *innocents in the wicked West, are there, Mr Corbyn?

Even when journalists and aid workers were being beheaded on social media by IS butchers, Corbyn said it was “the price of jingoism” by the US and UK. So that’s all right then.

The thought of Corbyn being responsible for our national *security chills the blood. This nation has not been invaded for 1,000 years.

All our freedoms were bought with the blood and sacrifice of the generations who came before us.

A fake pacifist like Corbyn does not deserve to lead the country our ancestors fought and died for. Because Corbyn has never stood up for this country. Corbyn only ever stands up for our enemies.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10360663/jeremy-corby-enemies-are-goodies/

 

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TOBY YOUNG From dial-up modems to blocked porn sites, here’s what Jeremy Corbyn’s free broadband could look like

COMMENT
Toby Young
The Sun
17th November 2019

IN its latest supermarket sweep, the Labour Party has promised to give away full-fibre broadband to every UK household if we elect Jeremy Corbyn PM.

And Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell says the “free” service will only cost the taxpayer £20billion. That’s a drop in the bucket, given the £1.2trillion cost of Labour’s other giveaways.

Here's what our columnist Toby Young thinks Jeremy Corbyn's free broadband could look like

A similar policy was adopted by the Australian Labour Party in 2006, with an initial price tag of £8billion.

Thirteen years later, the cost has climbed to £26billion, it still hasn’t been rolled out in some rural areas and only a quarter of users have a good enough connection to access Netflix and other streamlining services.

McDonnell says a future Labour Government would create the British Broadband Service by nationalising BT’s Openreach, and the broadband arms of Sky, TalkTalk and Virgin Media. In other words, not just the main supplier, but all the competitors.

So if Labour’s service doesn’t work there won’t be any alternative. You’ll have to sit there staring at the word “loading” until your hair turns grey.

So here’s what I think the British Broadband Service will look like:

Instead of a wi-fi router, you get a dial-up modem.

The service only works four days a week.

Access to porn sites blocked — apart from Soviet-Angels.com, featuring female Russian border guards. Payment in rubles only.

The British Broadband Service’s “content moderators” will block access to all sites promoting “hate speech” and “fake news”, i.e. any newspaper that criticises Corbyn. This includes disparaging references to manholes or allotments.

The first 10GB of data will be free but you’ll be charged for anything above that, with your monthly bill calculated by Diane Abbott. Remember, this is the woman who told LBC’s Nick Ferrari that the annual cost of hiring an additional 10,000 police offers would be £300,000, which would mean each officer being paid a salary of £30.

If you try to log a complaint about delays and cancellations on Britain’s new nationalised railway you get “Error 404 — page not found”.

You won’t be charged for a home visit by a fault engineer, but the waiting time will be 15 years.

If you address your internet-connected Alexa device by the wrong gender pronoun, your service will be suspended for a month.

The “terms of service” prohibit putting masking tape over the camera on your laptop — Magic Grandpa is always watching.

You have free access to an online game, ‘If It Moves, Nationalise It’. Have hours of fun pursuing Britain’s last remaining entrepreneurs as they try to flee to another country.

Any Google searches for anything football-related will be directed to Arsenal FC’s website.

If you Google “capitalism” you get the spinning wheel of death.

To activate your full-fibre broadband network each day, users are required to issue the following voice command: “Workers of the world unite. Long live Comrade Corbyn.”

When setting your password, only use letters from the Cyrillic Alphabet. Example: Птин (translation: Putin).

You will still be able to book cheap, family breaks, but only in such holiday hotspots as Venezuela and North Korea.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10362104/what-jeremy-corbyns-free-broadband-could-look-like/