"Best mom" chosen as face of currency

[Outta here]

Interesting to note that much of this discussion has so far centred on 'choices'.

There's a great many women out there - myself among them - who weren't in the position of being able to 'choose'. If I'd had my druthers, I'd have definitely stayed home longer with my kids. No contest. I've worked all my adult life outside the home apart from my maternity leaves. I can honestly say that I've never received the same degree of satisfaction from any of my jobs as I did from my role as a parent. Drudgery is drudgery - and every job has it's share - whether in the house or at the computer in an office. The rewards are completely different though, and I think everyone garners their sense of satisfaction differently. Mine was in providing a home environment for my kids as best I could.

I was at least fortunate enough to be in a position to use child care providers at a minimum, due to both my ex and I working shifts - which we set up so that one of us was always home with the kids - but that takes it's own toll (note the word 'ex' lolll)

When one is in the fortunate position of being able to choose, I am pretty sure the choice is best made according to what works for the individuals in question. If a parent wishes to work outside the home - it's possible they wouldn't do the best job raising their kids if they felt stifled or resentful at having to stay home.

On a side note - re: stay at home dads... I've known a couple stay at home dads who I thought made better parents, and brought more to their children's childhood experience than some mothers do. IMO, all parents who make it to the finish line with their kids intact, healthy, happy and ready to contribute in a positive way to society should get their faces on a wad of money!

There's no one right way to do it, but whatever way you choose (or accept) it's hard work, and any way they manage to do it successfully should be applauded.

 

[karrie]

Wonderfully put Zan.

 

[gerryh]

Interesting to note that much of this discussion has so far centred on 'choices'.

There's a great many women out there - myself among them - who weren't in the position of being able to 'choose'.

Really? Aside from being a "single mother" I can't think of any other reason why a choice couldnot be made as to stay home or not. Even if one is a single parent there are options to "stay home" besides welfare.

 

[Outta here]

Interesting. Such as... ??

 

[gerryh]

Interesting. Such as... ??

Work from home....do daycare for those that "choose" to not stay home. For 2 parent families, there is no excuse not to be able to "choose" to stay home for one of the parents.

 

[Outta here]

Aside from divulging all my personal circumstances - which I'm not about to do - I'll just add that it's impossible to determine for another what their choices are unless you do know what those specific circumstances are, and thank you for your comments on my post and be on my merry way.

 

[gerryh]

Aside from divulging all my personal circumstances - which I'm not about to do - I'll just add that it's impossible to determine for another what their choices are unless you do know what those specific circumstances are, and thank you for your comments on my post and be on my merry way.

I'm sorry Zan, you stated that you worked outside the home for pretty much your entire life except for maternity leave. That would have been a chpice you made rather than staying home. I'm not saying that that choice was wrong, I'm saying you did have a choice.

 

[Outta here]

Choices and the perception that choices are limited are sometimes based on other things than what you've mentioned. Like I said though - in my case those aspects are highly personal and not up for discussion.

Regardless, I would respect anyone's assessment of their own situation as to whether or not they felt there were other feasible choices.

 

[gerryh]

Life is about choices. Everything we do involves choices. Those choices may not be choices that we like, kinda of like "between the devil and the deep blue sea", but they are choices non the less. Those that make statement like "I didn't have a choice" are usually ones that don't want to take responsibility for the choice that they did make.

 

[Outta here]

I disagree. If the consequences of one of the so called 'choices' result in further distress or hardship, then it's really not a choice at all. It may be an option, but not necessarily a more beneficial one. I'd suggest that anyone who says they didn't have a choice might be more accurate to say they had other choices, but they chose the lesser of all other presented evils.

As I appear to be re-defining my words after using them, I'll just go whole hog here and say that my definition of the word choice involved an aspect of 'satisfaction' in the results of said choice.

I take full responsibility for the 'choice' I made as the alternatives would have yielded much worse results.

If the option most desired is not available, that option is not a choice one is free to make.

 

[Unforgiven]

Some people just aren't cut out for staying at home and raising kids. It isn't an easy task by any stretch. Most people don't have a clue about what goes on other than when they see the kids on the weekend or after work for a few hours.

Once a kid comes along, it's no longer all about you. Your last as a matter of fact. The kids take first consideration 99.9% of the time. On top of that, if you have a partner working, you're expected to make sure all the aspect of the home are managed well enough so that they can concentrate on making a living for the family.

For those who are apt at caring for children there are avenues to revenue that open up as time passes. Timing is everything and I happened to have the right skills at the right time to fill a demand that lead to an income. In the process of taking care of my kids. During those years I did see people who were smart, good people with plenty of talents floundering under the pressure and limitations that raising kids puts on you. Not only financial and physical but the mental stress you can be put under is staggering.

No vacations, no time off for emergencies, no bonus and no advancement. All the crummy jobs go to you and at the end of it you are left all along to figure out what to do with yourself. You better be able to work for yourself because there is no shortage of moms that end up with crappy entry level jobs because of their limited work experience and a changed labour market.

Having said that, there is nothing in the working world that compares with watching a little kid flourish because of the efforts you have put in. A family that makes it through the tough times and the good ones too is a reward that can't really be compared to with any monetary balance. And once in a while when someone looks at you and tells you that you are amazing and they mean it, you don't feel so bad about all the diapers, bad days thrust upon you and heart ache when you are no longer needed in the way you once were.

For the most part I don't think you can tell anyone how to go about it. They have to find it themselves for themselves. There are always tips to share and stories that might give someone else ideas they can use, but there has never been a manual for this sort of thing. Yet when you see an older person whose family has grown up and moved off into their own lives, you never notice the degrees that they have unofficially earned through experience and the vastness of their knowledge. If you could, it would be as impressive as any trophy wall of many a CEO.

The nurturer whether mom or dad, is a very under valued commodity these days. Much to the missed opportunity of business.

 

[gerryh]

I disagree. If the consequences of one of the so called 'choices' result in further distress or hardship, then it's really not a choice at all. It may be an option, but not necessarily a more beneficial one. I'd suggest that anyone who says they didn't have a choice might be more accurate to say they had other choices, but they chose the lesser of all other presented evils.

As I appear to be re-defining my words after using them, I'll just go whole hog here and say that my definition of the word choice involved an aspect of 'satisfaction' in the results of said choice.

I take full responsibility for the 'choice' I made as the alternatives would have yielded much worse results.

If the option most desired is not available, that option is not a choice one is free to make.

and see...now you admit that there were choices to be made..... only the choices were basically bad, worse, and catastrophic...lol..... Even when choices are limited to ones we would prefer not to choose, they are still choices. We can't always be blessed with choices that make us and ours happy 100% of the time. But, a choice that seems to be undesirable right now, may turn out to be one of the best choices we made in out life.

 

[gerryh]

Some people just aren't cut out for staying at home and raising kids. It isn't an easy task by any stretch. Most people don't have a clue about what goes on other than when they see the kids on the weekend or after work for a few hours.

Once a kid comes along, it's no longer all about you. Your last as a matter of fact. The kids take first consideration 99.9% of the time. On top of that, if you have a partner working, you're expected to make sure all the aspect of the home are managed well enough so that they can concentrate on making a living for the family.

For those who are apt at caring for children there are avenues to revenue that open up as time passes. Timing is everything and I happened to have the right skills at the right time to fill a demand that lead to an income. In the process of taking care of my kids. During those years I did see people who were smart, good people with plenty of talents floundering under the pressure and limitations that raising kids puts on you. Not only financial and physical but the mental stress you can be put under is staggering.

No vacations, no time off for emergencies, no bonus and no advancement. All the crummy jobs go to you and at the end of it you are left all along to figure out what to do with yourself. You better be able to work for yourself because there is no shortage of moms that end up with crappy entry level jobs because of their limited work experience and a changed labour market.

Having said that, there is nothing in the working world that compares with watching a little kid flourish because of the efforts you have put in. A family that makes it through the tough times and the good ones too is a reward that can't really be compared to with any monetary balance. And once in a while when someone looks at you and tells you that you are amazing and they mean it, you don't feel so bad about all the diapers, bad days thrust upon you and heart ache when you are no longer needed in the way you once were.

For the most part I don't think you can tell anyone how to go about it. They have to find it themselves for themselves. There are always tips to share and stories that might give someone else ideas they can use, but there has never been a manual for this sort of thing. Yet when you see an older person whose family has grown up and moved off into their own lives, you never notice the degrees that they have unofficially earned through experience and the vastness of their knowledge. If you could, it would be as impressive as any trophy wall of many a CEO.

The nurturer whether mom or dad, is a very under valued commodity these days. Much to the missed opportunity of business.

Well....I'm done...I don't think anything could be added to that..... VERY well put.

 

[Sal]

Some people just aren't cut out for staying at home and raising kids.

Bingo! And if not, should not.

Just like having kids to begin with. That should be the job of a much smaller number of people in our society. Every Tom, Dick and Cathy should not be popping out kids. Everyone thinks because they have the parts, they should be used.

Not so.

Zan, I see what you are saying. Sometimes all the options suck.

And as gerryh said, a choice is a choice regardless of our feeling about it.

 

[MikeyDB]

When there's a movement by single male parents to address the pros and cons of individual child rearing...then Canadians might re-examine the dynamic more enthusiastically...

Part of the glass ceiling I suppose....

Our cultural conditioning imposes the responsibility for child-rearing on the female that stems from Grog taking the family club out into the wild to down a wildebeast...

If anyone ever tells you that evolution occurs.....