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Falsification of business records. I'd explain, but you're too stupid to follow. Just drive the truck.

Wait. . . you think the criminal case against him is because he fucked Stormy Daniels? That's so cute!

Why does she keep calling me Jesus? I ain't Mexican. And it's pronounced "Hay-SOOS."

I LOVE it when that happens! Mark Twain made a living off it!

The proper role for law enforcement is to protect your feewings, not your safety or property.

I like my Christians with both feet up in the air, and spread wide.

It's understandable. Having your car stolen, especially without violence or threats, doesn't hurt your feels (immediately), and is therefore not a proper cause for state action.

She wants to be convicted felon Trump's running mate.

"If it's gonna happen, and there's nothing you can do to stop it, might as well lay back and enjoy it."

These guys ain't stupid. They look at the West and it's clear as day you lift the people out of the Middle Ages, they just get all pushy and demanding.

Surely Shatner and Reynolds can cough up a quick "Sore-ree." It's the Canadian Way!

Is that the noun form of "fickle?" Sure it's not "ficklacity" or "ficklory?"

That you do. It's a masking emotion for fear.

You'll also never fuck her, and you'll never use an infantry rifle in action. "A man's got to know his limitations." --Clint Eastwood, as both Rowdy Yates in Rawhide, and Dirty Harry Callahan in Magnum Force.

Who is this "we" of which you speak?

Get Ukraine out of Gaza! You ignorant fuck.

See what she's holding? That's what she wishes you had.

Rather they be teachers than amateur preachers, myself.

Or as I like to say to the big-mag fetishists: "If you've fired six shots and you still have a problem, try throwing the gun, cuz yer a lousy shot."

Too bad Louise can't seem to muster up the gumption to mandate posting the Ten Amendments (AKA the Bill of Rights) on classroom walls. Seems more relevant to an education that purports to produce informed, responsible citizens.