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It's five o'clock somewhere in the Empire. . .

It was early last September Near as I can remember While strolling down the lane in tipsy pride Not a word did I utter As I lay down in the gutter And this pig came up and lay there by my side Not a soul was I disturbing As I lay there by the curbing When this high-tone lady come and I heard her...

Only you. . .

Tissue, candyass?

You asked for it, boy. . . OH YEAH? OH YEAH?

Nerd fight!

You believe you're a hard man, too, so I don't pay a lot of mind to your delusions.

Intel. Which covers a lot of ground. I've been in East Germany, Yugoslavia, and El Salvador, back in the day when I don't think there was much debate about whether they were Communist countries. Trust me, you wouldn't know communism if it walked up and bit you in the ass. And it's entirely...

Of course. Raw sewage is organic! Hey, the rectum is an organ!

Appreciate it, Jin, but x-meat isn't insulting me. He ain't smart enough.

USAF, twelve years. Ever been in a Communist country, Jody?

Ever actually do any of that fighting, hero?

So. . . Can we call 'em the Commieservatives now? Would a Conservative politician who hurts your feels be a CINO or a TINO?

Commie girls like anal sex. One of 'em asked me to do it once. I tried it, but I wasn't impressed. Frankly, it was fucking shit.

But if you don't carry a red card, how are people supposed to know you're a citizen of a communist country?

But. . . they're DEADLY! That's why "conservatives" wanna ban 'em!

This is pretty normal for communist countries.

Damn right! How they hell are ya supposed to manipulate the market with stable and inexpensive goods and services, dammit? But. . . but. . . whatabout the fishies?

The Commies'll get ya anyhow.

Everybody's terribly worried about "the economy" until their side does something economically damaging. Then it's "there are more important things than money." A sentiment with which I agree, as it happens, just I hope not quite so hypocritically (and waaaay less whiny).