The Beauty Backlash

L Gilbert

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I'm aware of it, and I only wish I had had more time to discuss that problem as well. It's disgusting how much the media effects us all. I'm so thankful my hubby can see through the projections of "male masculinity." I, like him, do my best to ensure my loved ones are happy and healthy. There are dangers no matter what gender, age or ethnicity you are. I've seen far too many friends suffer with body image, men and women alike.
Now you have it. :smile:
 

L Gilbert

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You are so right Amber, it does indeed lie within our own responsibility to create a new perspective as a society.

There are a number of ways which we could do that. What products we buy for starters. Money unfortunately seems to speak the loudest, and the buying power we exert is what will likely drive the changes in many areas - media and advertising included. As long as we succumb to the temptation to purchase products that claim to make us look younger, slimmer, sexier, we will continue to fuel the machine that promotes these things.

Another thing we need to do is be aware of is what messages we're sending our kids - not just with the products we buy and use, but what we're allowing them to use their buying power for. What sorts of toys and games are they playing with? What habits and beliefs are we (unwittingly?) instilling that will frame future choices they make as adults?

Check out the graphics and characters on almost any computer game - on or off line. In real life, the women would for the most part, be freaks of nature. This is where the kids today are spending a good deal of their money, and where many parents will plonk down their hard earned cash to put something under the tree for their kids.

We really do need to use more thought in considering just how much power we as individuals have to re-define the values within our society. Myself included, btw.
Quite right, Zan. To reiterate something I have been saying for years, we serve society. Sociteies were developed to serve people. It has gone awry and as a result, our societies are sick. We are sick.
 

Outta here

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Jul 8, 2005
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I disagree that we drive the media. The media reacts to what it THINKS we want to see. What drives the media is dollars, pure and simple. They promote what they think we want. They lobby us. They plant ideas in our heads. It is classical conditioning and we are Pavlov's dogs.

I think it's to some degree, a mutually dysfunctional relationship.... we do allow ourselves to be lead to the trough via the advertising, but I still think that if we exercise some awareness of what our buying power is perpetuating, we do have the power to change the course of the media machine.
 

warrior_won

Time Out
Nov 21, 2007
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I think you missed the main idea: that the media steers women's focuses. Actually, the media generally steers people's focuses. The various forms of media are all designed for consumerism, even the "unbiased" news media.

I didn't miss the main idea, I simply hold that the premise is invalid. I attempted to illustrate that by pointing out that women living in cultures with little or no media exposure, endure the same pressures as far as attracting a mate is concerned. My argument was that women's focuses are steered not by media, as can be demonstrated, but by something little more biological.
 

L Gilbert

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..........

When it comes to English per se the medium is the message. Your form or style, spelling and grammar, are all going to be criticized more than the intellectual content. You will soon find out what your teacher wants, and then you can feed it to her. Until then, it is hard to say whether you have a bitter and pointless rant, spell offensively, repeat yourself, or have excessively long paragraphs. Your teacher may pick on your punctuation.

........
Perhaps I missed something here. Not quite sure of what context you have in mind when referrring to style, spelling, grammar, etc. has to do with your comment that the medium is the message. This might be of interest to some; http://individual.utoronto.ca/markfederman/article_mediumisthemessage.htm
BTW, "the medium is the message" was McLuhan's comment.
 

Canucklehead

Moderator
Apr 6, 2005
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I didn't miss the main idea, I simply hold that the premise is invalid. I attempted to illustrate that by pointing out that women living in cultures with little or no media exposure, endure the same pressures as far as attracting a mate is concerned. My argument was that women's focuses are steered not by media, as can be demonstrated, but by something little more biological.

Biologically speaking, it is predominantly the male of a species that fights for a woman's attention as can be seen by the myriad of male creatures which are more colourfully adorned than the female of the species.

Looking back in hooman history, it was, for a time, a large woman who commanded the attention of the males. Why? Because a large woman presented the appearance of wealth due to her never having to want for food. These days women are raised to fear food because of the superficial attitude instilled in people by the media.
 

Outta here

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"We" is a pronoun used to include "all" who disagree with the premise of the author's essay. If you agree with the premise of her thesis, you would be logically excluded from the "we". Makes sense, right?

ummm no, doesn't make sense, you did not define who you were referring to with the 'we' and therefore it was safe to assume you were speaking for the group present within the discussion. I wanted to make it clear you were not speaking for me. (Can I now assume we're got that clear?) :lol:

Was it inferred that I was speaking for you? Or even for the "little collective" of folks participating in this immediate discussion?

As I just said, yes it was inferred.

Really? What is the role that media plays in this issue? What is the issue? To me, the issue appears to be that women who do not fit the so-called "ideal" are somehow alienated from society and their peers by this evil empire dubbed commercial media. Am I missing the boat here? Or am I reading her posts a little too literally?

I don't know what boat you're on, but yes I do think you're missing something here. I can only speak from personal experience on this one aspect of your theory: I have never considered myself on the outside looking in when it comes to beauty, nor have I ever considered myself to be one of those who fit that elusive ideal (thank gawd!) and yet I do find the media plays a huge role in demonstrating for me what standard - attainable or not - that somebody, somewhere has decided is what my goal as a woman should be. This certainly hasn't caused me to feel alienated from society - but it has caused me to be diligent in teaching both my daughter and my son to beware of allowing the media to do their thinking for them, and to look deeper than physical looks before deciding what is beautiful in another.

And that's when hypocrisy set in. You take exception to my use of the word "we" than two short paragraphs later you introduce "all of us" to the argument. For the record, I do not believe myself groteque, nor do I believe myself incapable of critical thought. Yet, I am in almost total disagreement with the argument offered by the esteemed forum member. :p

You've manipulated my words with the above quote. What I said was: "You underestimate all of us who know ourselves to be beautiful and capable of critical thought". How much more clearly could I have defined which "we" I was referring to?

Assumptions are never misleading. They're either accurate or inaccurate. Assumptions, nevertheless, are a valid means for presenting an argument where little fact is known or can be known. I think my assumption is not far off the mark when viewed in the context for which the esteemed member has presented her hypothesis.

I disagree with both statements there. Assumptions should at least be based on something that more than a rare few believe before being introduced as valid within a discussion of any kind. I also think your assumption is terribly far off the mark, and motivated more by a generalized and self-admitted dislike of women than anything truly valid.
 

L Gilbert

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Therein lies the problem. I won't do the research; I don't care. I don't believe that media is responsible for low self-esteem among females. The reason I don't believe this is because females of all cultures generally suffer from low self-esteem and pressure to be beautiful in order to attract a mate. Like I said previously, this is also true in cultures where media has no role. So the influence comes from somewhere else.
You seem to be using a specific form of media in generalized terms. Perhaps you could benefit by the definition of the word "media": take it from an expert on the subject of "media"; http://deoxy.org/media/McLuhan


That depends on the culture. Different cultures have differing ideas on what is and is not beautiful. So you're right in a sense. It's not just about makeup. It's about being beautiful. Where you're wrong, is in your assertion that media is at fault for the pressure applied to women. Like I said, women who live in cultures without media receive the same pressure.
lmao The media is constantly pressuring people in general to buy this, think that, etc. So you are basically saying that women alone are not being steered by the media to buy things? That they are not being steered to thinking certain ways?
Thank you so much for the laugh.

So where does the pressure come from if not from media? Is it from men? Is it men that decide what is or isn't beautiful? Nope! Men are just horndogs. They just want to screw. And they'll screw anything that is available -- beautiful or otherwise.
lmao Yes of course. Men have no brains and are limited to one emotion, lust. :roll: Perhaps the hormonally driven teen is like that, but grown up men have a little bit broader horizons than just sex. At least this 53 year old does.

The simple fact of the matter is that men have only two choices: Take what's available or settle for nothing. I personally settle for nothing; I'm not happy with what's available. So we can eliminate men as the culprit.
That sounds like a personal issue and you are being highly subjective and I might say, projecting your own views as that of every man.

Men are out. Media is out.
Only in your mind.
What's left? Ah, other women! It's a jungle out there. The pressure comes from other women. The spirit of competition is alive and well in the mating game. So I really feel no sympathy for women who whine about how they're expected to be beautiful. Besides, women are getting fatter and fatter by the day. Have you noticed the number of fat assed hags in your town lately? Pretty funny, huh?
Ah, finally a little factual info from you. Yes, part of the pressure does come from other women. But that does not negate the fact that media and men are also part of the problem.



Women have what some refer to as "pussy power". It's really the only power women have.
Yes, women have no brains. Just bodies. :roll:
If men want you in their bed, you have power over men. As you get older, your pussy power fades. So it's not about feeling less beautiful. You hit the nail on the head when you alluded to cheating and abuse as being fears of aging females. And I'm sure that in some instances, the fears become realities. So it's more about becoming powerless.
Yes there are no powerful older and ugly women. :roll:
And to generally paint all men with the same brush is absurd.
lol I agree. But you have done that exact same thing: let me refresh your memory and quote you; "Men are just horndogs. They just want to screw". Also you've done nothing but paint women all with the same brush. You really are a comical little fella.

Why do you suppose that is? Is it because of media? Is it because of men? No! It's because of women. Women choose to gain their place in society through their tits and their twat. As long as women identify themselves as sex objects, they will be forever cast in that role. Sucks, I know, but you did it to yourselves. C'est la vie, as they say in the olde country.
I am beginning to feel sorry for you. Misogyny seems to drive your thoughts.
.....

Girls are taught by other girls. Although that's slowly changing. I see a lot of girls now that really don't give a crap about how men or other girls perceive them. But this is coming from a guy who typically views females as losers.
Ahah! I knew it, a definite, dyed-in-the-wool misogynist. No bias in your views. lmao



So in other words, you became a s-l-u-t and you wondered why people treated you like a s-l-u-t. You probably needed a mirror for something other than applying makeup. You needed to see yourself and ask yourself why you were portraying yourself as a promiscuous s-l-u-t.
Ahah!! Resorting to the ad hominem attack as an argument. tsk tsk.



.............



Makeup is not a part of the problem at all. The problem is not that women apply makeup to their faces. The problem is not that women have eating disorders. The problem is not that women age or are expected to be attractive. The problem is that women make the conscious choice to sell themselves as s-l-u-t-s. If that's the image you present, that's the image people expect. Remember, if all women refused to get breast implants... If all women refused to wear makeup... If all women refused to be thin... If all women refused to wear suggestive garments... Men would still find them attractive enough to f-u-c-k, date, and marry. You can't blame men or media for a problem that is one of women's own creation. And it is women, and women alone, who perpetuate the problem.
Laughable

I apologize for the vulgarity in this reply, but I'm just sick and tired of listening to the feminist bullcrap that has become so much of my daily life.
It's only BS to you.

Have a nice day. :)
 
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L Gilbert

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I think it's to some degree, a mutually dysfunctional relationship.... we do allow ourselves to be lead to the trough via the advertising, but I still think that if we exercise some awareness of what our buying power is perpetuating, we do have the power to change the course of the media machine.
Yes we do. If we all actually pointed out to the media that what they think we want and need is wrong and they should actually pay closer attention to what we DO want and need, it'd be a start. Unfortunately we all just won't do that because we are apathetic, lazy, etc. So it is up to a few to speak for the masses. And this just feeds the problem all over again.
 

L Gilbert

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I didn't miss the main idea, I simply hold that the premise is invalid. I attempted to illustrate that by pointing out that women living in cultures with little or no media exposure, endure the same pressures as far as attracting a mate is concerned. My argument was that women's focuses are steered not by media, as can be demonstrated, but by something little more biological.
You really have no idea what media is, do you? Yet you ASSUME that you do and pontificate about it profusely. You are funny.
 

triedit

inimitable
I'm a large middle aged woman. Im cool with that. I buy magazines like "Scientific American". I do wax my chin though, middle age brings itchy hairs. I don't do it to be more appealing. I do it to be more comfortable.

And just for the sake of saying it, if warrior was my son I'd slap him upside the head.

Now where was I. oh yes, body image. There comes a point in life where you assess your overal value. What you have been taught by your family, by society, and by advertising will play a role in that, but as an adult with a brain you have the OPTION of discarding the negatives.

My mother put me on a diet at age 4. I stayed on it through high school and eventually became anorexic. She did it because HER mother did the same to her--and her mother did it because in the 40's and early 50's glamour was everything. Im pleased to say that my girls are not only a healthy weight, but are also comfortable in thier bodies.

I would like to lose 100 pounds for health reasons. I don't wear makeup unless it is a very special occasion. I have comfortable clothes and shoes without those crazy heels. Ive never had a problem getting laid. Ever. Even when I was larger than I am now.

I worry about things like the economy, the household things, whether my kids are getting the education they should. Beauty et al has no place in my mind. Ive done my assessment and discovered Im just fine being me. THAT is what we need to be teaching our children.

Thus ends my menopausal rant for this evening.
 

Outta here

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Jul 8, 2005
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I like the tact Dove ™ has been taking in recent years - I hope they can help establish a new standard - they've aimed their advertising towards a process of celebrating what makes all women unique and real - which is a great first step. Check this out.
 

jimshort19

Electoral Member
Nov 24, 2007
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Can't we all just be friends?

Zen, thanks for the welcome. I must have come in through the back door. I didn't see an intro thread.

L Gilbert, I was quoting McLuhan but not meaning anything so enigmatic. English in its own context, a work of language written for an English professor - I have spoken literally.

Perhaps Warrior got out of the wrong side of the bed. Surely we needn't resort to a misogenistic interpretation of his bitterness against feminism. He has simply missed the end of the battle of the sexes. A penile napoleonic complex is a blinding thing.

Finally Amber gets some better balanced grist for her essay. Surely enough is here. But what is the word count target, and when do we see the next draft? I guess it's a popular subject.

I posit that the battle of the sexes ended in profound symbolism at 11:39 A.M. EST January 28, 1986 when a school teacher named Christa McAuliffe rode the rocket to death and stopped the American space program in front of the whole world in the Challenger disaster.

Now we are just cleaning up, acknowledging error, taking additional precaution, and making the path straight for half the human race. Women are not always their own best allies, and the entertainment media is too often a dead ender, abetted by women to the point of self-destruction.
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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very good essay. i agree with all of it.

there is, however a simple solution to the problem: don't read it, and don't let your kids read it.

also, i'd like to point out that "it's" is a contraction of "it is" and not the way to show that something belongs to "it" (you use "its" there).
 

AmberEyes

Sunshine
Dec 19, 2006
495
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There was no word count, it was supposed to be about a 6 page essay, double spaced. It was not meant to be the final word, and with such a small limit there's no way I could stuff anything else into it. It was a draft, the final copy is in the hands of my english professor. The essay posted was already proofread, and so whatever punctuation/spelling errors were present were already eliminated way before I put it up for scrutiny.
 

darkbeaver

the universe is electric
Jan 26, 2006
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Zen, thanks for the welcome. I must have come in through the back door. I didn't see an intro thread.

L Gilbert, I was quoting McLuhan but not meaning anything so enigmatic. English in its own context, a work of language written for an English professor - I have spoken literally.

Perhaps Warrior got out of the wrong side of the bed. Surely we needn't resort to a misogenistic interpretation of his bitterness against feminism. He has simply missed the end of the battle of the sexes. A penile napoleonic complex is a blinding thing.

Finally Amber gets some better balanced grist for her essay. Surely enough is here. But what is the word count target, and when do we see the next draft? I guess it's a popular subject.

I posit that the battle of the sexes ended in profound symbolism at 11:39 A.M. EST January 28, 1986 when a school teacher named Christa McAuliffe rode the rocket to death and stopped the American space program in front of the whole world in the Challenger disaster.

Now we are just cleaning up, acknowledging error, taking additional precaution, and making the path straight for half the human race. Women are not always their own best allies, and the entertainment media is too often a dead ender, abetted by women to the point of self-destruction.

Hi I'm darkbeaver, nice to met you, can I get you some tea or coffee. I was curious about your suggestion that a profoundly symbolic event for women had occured 11.39 AM EST January 28/86. I posit that Margaret Meade or Golda Mier or one of thousands of other women throughout history would have preceeded the wreak victim.