family meals

[On.Journey]

I was wondering what relationships people in this forum have had throughout their life with their families. I personally have always had a great and healthy relationship with mine, even in the so called puberty, that I think I simply ignored.

For incidence, during meals we had together we were always talking, laughing, discussing, ALWAYS and it was custom for us to eat together.

Now I'm living here with a host family, the kids are about my age and meals pass by in silence. Everybody leans on their elbows sticking their forks over the plate while avoiding each others eyes and nobody talks. And they claim themselves a happy family. I've noticed that in many families but here for the first time I realize how lucky I am.

Is that the reality????

 

[SVMc]

Like you, when family can be together for a meal in my household it's always been a sit down meal with lots of talking and laughing that usually goes well into the night. Especially now that we (the children) have moved out of the house and family meals are less frequent. Both my brother and I have carried that tradition into our semi-adult lives, and when I had roommates we'd often eat together, my brother who lives with 5 guys (still in uni) they cook together and often eat together.
But, I have to say this is a stark contrast to my partners family. While he enjoys having meals together now and has even taken to inviting people over himself now for meals, when we go to his families house for the obligatory holidays (which are about the only time we see his family) it's a very June Cleaver looking picture, but almost no one talks, his mum makes the meal while we all stare at each other in the living room, over dinner the only discussion is typically compliments on the food and then people generally go to thier own corners. Even in our 20's we're relegated to the "kids" basement to play video games and watch TV...
I woudln't say this is the "norm" as I've got lots of friends who had upbringings like mine but it certainly isn't a slim minority that had family meals like my partners house.

 

[Josephine]

I've never had those fun family meals. Eventually I think we just started eating on our own. But my partners family is like that...with the talking and laughing, and I just love going over there! It's a blast and I hope to have that, when I start a family!

 

[lysyfacet]

I have a very good relationship wiht my family, even now at my teenage years. I can talk about almost everything with my dad, i hang out with him alot too...you could almost say we treat eachother like very good friends. I play hockey in his old timer league (i'm only 18), which is a great way to spend time with my dad.
As for meals go, its a sit down dinner with the whole family everynight, except those odd few. Its a custome here, like its just something we've done for the longest time, we'd talk about the day or just stuff, random debates about random topics.
So i'd say my relationship with my parents is fairly well, atleast compared to some of those i've heard about. Alot of kids struggle with their kids once they've reached teen hood aka puberty, but its something you need to live through.

 

[On.Journey]

I believed you to be older than teenage.

 

[lysyfacet]

I believed you to be older than teenage.

yeh alot of people do...i guess i'm just abit more mature for my age then most guys about my age. But no i'm finishing gr12 this year and soon going to college. I turn 18 in june

 

[On.Journey]

Same for me, I was once hit on by a 22 year old student 8O

Except I'm in grade 11.

 

[lysyfacet]

Same for me, I was once hit on by a 22 year old student 8O

Except I'm in grade 11.

lol yeah that happens to me abit, altho i already have a girlfriend so that doesn't happen anymore.

 

[On.Journey]

Well, not only therefore, you're certainly a lucky fellow.

 

[karrie]

And they claim themselves a happy family. I've noticed that in many families but here for the first time I realize how lucky I am.

Is that the reality????

Well, how do you measure happiness? Not all people are chatty. Just because they don't interact in the same chatty manner as your family, doesn't mean they are any less loving or joyful on the inside. Remember, everyone expresses themselves differently. For some people, it's just a matter of not knowing what to discuss. For others, there's comfort in being able to be around one another without having to talk... to just be comfortable in one another's presence is joy enough.

Family dynamics can be one of the hardest parts, one of the most alien experiences when living with a host family.

 

[On.Journey]

Well it's not that such people interact in a different manner. It's, from what I've seen, the dinner table would be the only occasion where to interact at all, and it doesn't happen. They might be joyful on the inside, I don't doubt that at all though apparently not as a family. I'm sorry, I believe if a family doesn't know anything to talk about, regardless of how chatty they are, they have an issue.

 

[karrie]

Well it's not that such people interact in a different manner. It's, from what I've seen, the dinner table would be the only occasion where to interact at all, and it doesn't happen. They might be joyful on the inside, I don't doubt that at all though apparently not as a family. I'm sorry, I believe if a family doesn't know anything to talk about, regardless of how chatty they are, they have an issue.

In exchanges I've seen in the past, host families usually try to help create an environment where their guest is comfortable. Talk to your host parents about the dinner routine, and what it meant for you at home. Talk to them about how much you miss a chatty table, and see if you can't effect some change for them. Perhaps they'll have some ideas, or you'll have some ideas, for sparking conversation. Perhaps they don't even realize they're letting an opporunity for discussion slip by.

 

[L Gilbert]

Meals around here? Discussion mostly. Fair bit of humor and a tiny, wee, small token bit of crankiness.

 

[On.Journey]

In exchanges I've seen in the past, host families usually try to help create an environment where their guest is comfortable. Talk to your host parents about the dinner routine, and what it meant for you at home. Talk to them about how much you miss a chatty table, and see if you can't effect some change for them. Perhaps they'll have some ideas, or you'll have some ideas, for sparking conversation. Perhaps they don't even realize they're letting an opporunity for discussion slip by.

Well, most likely I'll leave them and stay with somebody else for next year. There's only about two month left.

Unfortunately, It's been really hard for that matter. My host"mother" simply opposes any opinion I have, and not in a nice manner. My host"father" however, is a nice fellow to chat with but has complete different interests.

 

[ottawa224]

Well at hour house, we can not afford chairs at the rate that they get broken. Everything is poor quality these days. Yet when it comes to food, we all eat at different times, and yet we still talk to each other and have a healthy realationship.

I was wondering what relationships people in this forum have had throughout their life with their families. I personally have always had a great and healthy relationship with mine, even in the so called puberty, that I think I simply ignored.

For incidence, during meals we had together we were always talking, laughing, discussing, ALWAYS and it was custom for us to eat together.

Now I'm living here with a host family, the kids are about my age and meals pass by in silence. Everybody leans on their elbows sticking their forks over the plate while avoiding each others eyes and nobody talks. And they claim themselves a happy family. I've noticed that in many families but here for the first time I realize how lucky I am.

Is that the reality????