Divorce - yes? no? maybe so?

[westmanguy]

And the tricky concept for religion: D-I-V-O-R-C-E!

My Mom and Dad have been together since my before me and my brother were born, but my father had been divorced prior and married my Christian mother (he was sort of a non-believer, back then, changed since marrying my mom!). Back in the early 70s they wouldn't marry my mother and father in the church because it was a sin...

So they had to marry at the, shudder the though, UNITED Church.. (current, worst denomination of anything that calls them Christian).

So Catholics are against it, Protestants aren't really..

But I think one thing people of Christian/Catholic persuasion need to do, is try harder to keep it working.. not give up at the sign of trouble, but give it a fighting chance before calling it quits.

But to say divorce. uh,uh.. Nope NEVER, I think is silly.

Should a women have to stay with a man that cheats on her day in and day out, and physically and mentally abuses her? Because the rules are no divorce?

I think if its a honest mishap in the marriage.. people should try to work through it, and if they can't, part ways.. but physical and mental abuse, or abuse of any kind, should not be tolerated by anyone, and that women should have the full support of her family AND the church to divorce and abusive husband.

Thoughts on divorce please!

 

[sanctus]

One thought and one thought only. If a marriage has been contracted within the Church and is, therefore, a Sacramental marriage, divorce is never an option.

 

[westmanguy]

Ok, what if the man a woman knew when she married, is being abused and fears her life.

Thats my biggest deal.. people should try to work through adultery, but abuse.. uh, uh..

 

[missile]

My Church allows this, but it is called by another term; Annulment & several of my friends have paid a sum to have this done & have since remarried into the faith,too. Personally, I don't believe in divorce & have suffered through my own stupidity in this matter.

 

[westmanguy]

Ok, people aren't getting this, so I will literally spell it out:

A-B-U-S-E... ABUSE... no divorce if your being abused..

You guys got me shaking my head in disbelief now..

 

[Sparrow]

Sorry Sanctus here I beg to differ however I do not believe that alot of divorces today are warrented. Today we see couples getting married with the thought that if is doesn't work we can divorce. This is a blantant sign that they never gave serious thought as to what marriage really is, a comitment between adults who are in love to respect and cherish each other. I was appalled a several years ago when I went to my niece's wedding (RC) when on her wedding day she told me "If it doesn't work we can get divorced". It was about 15 yrs ago but I still cannot get those words out of my head. Talk about starting a new life ass end to (excuse the expression) but that is what I think.

However I do believe there are circumstances where divorce should be allowed. When there is abuse of an adult whether it be the woman or the man and abuse of the children. In addition to the divorce because of child abuse I believe that the abuser should automatically loose parental rights. I maybe harsh! Sorry I got off the subject.

I know from someone I know that her marriage was annulled by the church because her husband and his family had hidden from her that he had been under psychiatric care since childhood and had been admitted many time into psychiatic hospitals. I would be interested about other reasons for annulments.

I also think that couples could do more to see if their marriage could really be saved. Some of the couples I have seen look as if after marriage they kept living as if they were still single and not realizing that they were married and that both have to change their ways of life and mind set. If after exhausting all the means at their disposal, both have to want to try, there is not hope for reconciling their differences staying together just perpetrated the misery and accomplishes nothing divorce should be allowed and as much as possible this should be done before any children are brought into this chaos. Divorce should not be a bandage solution but only used as a last resort.

 

[marygaspe]

Sorry Sanctus here I beg to differ however I do not believe that alot of divorces today are warrented. Today we see couples getting married with the thought that if is doesn't work we can divorce. T resort.

No choice really, if we are faithful Catholics, divorce is not recognized by the Church. If my husband and I divorced, let's say, and I re-married, the Church teaches that I am commiting adultery.

 

[marygaspe]

My Church allows this, but it is called by another term; Annulment & several of my friends have paid a sum to have this done & have since remarried into the faith,too. Personally, I don't believe in divorce & have suffered through my own stupidity in this matter.

Which Church? Annulment is not a divorce. It is dissolving the marriage on the grounds it was not valid at the time of the marriage. And it is not easy to get if you're Catholic, but it is very expensive

 

[marygaspe]

Ok, what if the man a woman knew when she married, is being abused and fears her life.

Thats my biggest deal.. people should try to work through adultery, but abuse.. uh, uh..

They should live separate in that situation. Bear in mind it is probably different for people outside of the Catholic Church. If you are devout and faithful to Church teachings, it is harder to just go and do things you've been taught are wrong.

 

[Zzarchov]

I find it funny that people make comments on what marriage is.

This is a multi-cultural country now, and different cultures have different views.

This is to say nothing of the unique cultures which have arisen within Canada who have their own definition of marriage.

Marriage and its definition to you should be the business of those involved in it, no one else.

 

[darkbeaver]

Divorce saved my life.:wave:

 

[karrie]

Ok, what if the man a woman knew when she married, is being abused and fears her life.

Thats my biggest deal.. people should try to work through adultery, but abuse.. uh, uh..

my sister in law was granted an anulment by the Catholic Church. Her former husband on the other hand, was not. Thus, they ackowledged that she should have left, and that he shouldn't have done the things he did.

A priest gave an interesting homily on the subject at Thanksgiving. To boil it all down to its absolute simplest, he explained that the Catholic Church will not waver on it stance that the family is the most important building block of society, and should be revered. Everything possible should be done to save it. But, as he said, if it absolutely can't work, then as Christians we have no right to stand in judgement. The key being 'if it absolutely can not work.' Very few of the divorces I've seen around me these days fit that criteria. I see people who divorce only to start dating again a month or two later.

 

[hermanntrude]

Personally I believe that marriages should be ended when terrible things happen, and the two cannot live together. If a catholic woman (or man) finds herself (or himself) in an abusive relationship (to take the example cited above), then she'll almost certainly find herself (or himself) wanting to get away, eventually. When she (he) does, she (he) will want to live a normal life and may even find themselves in love. what then? deny ones-self a sexual relationship for the rest of your life because your husband (wife) beat you up? seems a little harsh, even for God.

Fortunately it doesnt matter as far as the law is concerned. That's another reason the church and the government shouldnt be the same thing.

 

[hermanntrude]

my sister in law was granted an anulment by the Catholic Church. Her former husband on the other hand, was not. Thus, they ackowledged that she should have left, and that he shouldn't have done the things he did.

A priest gave an interesting homily on the subject at Thanksgiving. To boil it all down to its absolute simplest, he explained that the Catholic Church will not waver on it stance that the family is the most important building block of society, and should be revered. Everything possible should be done to save it. But, as he said, if it absolutely can't work, then as Christians we have no right to stand in judgement. The key being 'if it absolutely can not work.' Very few of the divorces I've seen around me these days fit that criteria. I see people who divorce only to start dating again a month or two later.

I didnt know this happened. It's good to know there's some compassion

 

[karrie]

I didnt know this happened. It's good to know there's some compassion

That's why I find religious discussion so crucial.... so much of what people hear is an impression from outside of the church, not facts from within it. I hear a lot of, not necessarily false, but incomplete ideas about the church. My favorite is that we're not really Christians, we worship Mary instead. lol.

 

[hermanntrude]

That's why I find religious discussion so crucial.... so much of what people hear is an impression from outside of the church, not facts from within it. I hear a lot of, not necessarily false, but incomplete ideas about the church. My favorite is that we're not really Christians, we worship Mary instead. lol.

thanks for enlightening me

 

[karrie]

thanks for enlightening me

hermann, if you're willing to ask questions and listen to answers when it comes to religion, you were elightened to begin with. :angel8:

 

[El Barto]

Divorce saved my life.:wave:

I could never be as politically correct as to say something like that. I rather live in sin it's so much fun . the first cause of divorce is mairrage.
Why do divorces cost so much ,,,,, because it's worth it. lol

 

[TenPenny]

One thought and one thought only. If a marriage has been contracted within the Church and is, therefore, a Sacramental marriage, divorce is never an option.

Not for you, anyway.

I think divorce should be an option, but should not be taken lightly. It is a huge disruption to several lives, but, on the other hand, having parents who hate each other isn't so good, either. In theory, grown adults can work together for the betterment of the children, even if they are divorced. It takes maturity and an ability to think of others; oddly enough, that's exactly what marriage requires as well.

 

[karrie]

Not for you, anyway.

actually, for anyone marrying in the Catholic church, as he stated. It's not like they sneak it up on you. They're pretty clear about it when they agree to marry you in the church.