just moved in. need a social life

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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Newfoundland!
Hi I've just moved into Edmonton. living near Whyte avenue. I am from england and my wife lives a 12 hour drive north of here. people at work don't seem to socialise or speak much. Anyone out there fancy gaining a new friend? or got any suggestions as to how i might make some? I tried joining a book club but their email got sent back... i'm considering volunteering but dont knwo what to do
 

L Gilbert

Winterized
Nov 30, 2006
23,738
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50 acres in Kootenays BC
the-brights.net
Find a good pub and buy a round for the house. :D
Win a lottery and give away a couple grand. :D
Ad lib a lotta jokes. Smile. Wink. Grin.
Just start talking to a few people and don't let up. Not to mean you should gab at them for 2 hours straight, but talk with them for 5 or 10 then again another 5 or 10 later. How did you meet friends in UK?
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
27,780
285
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bliss
Hi I've just moved into Edmonton. living near Whyte avenue. I am from england and my wife lives a 12 hour drive north of here. people at work don't seem to socialise or speak much. Anyone out there fancy gaining a new friend? or got any suggestions as to how i might make some? I tried joining a book club but their email got sent back... i'm considering volunteering but dont knwo what to do

Isn't it funny that your wife, living in an area people consider to be 'isolated', will have an easier time meeting people?

I used to live in High Level, and I had such an easy time meeting people. I made some great friends, partied a lot, it was a blast. The bigger the city, the harder that is it seems. There's something so isolating about all those people.

I wish I could be more help, but I'm not on my way to Edmonton for a few months... haven't actually moved yet! PM me though... I'll be moving in just a few months (deal on the house fell through though, so, it could be longer), and I tend to consider myself not bad to deal with for the occasional coffee... but hey, I'm a little biased LOL

Best of luck.
 

#juan

Hall of Fame Member
Aug 30, 2005
18,326
119
63
Hi I've just moved into Edmonton. living near Whyte avenue. I am from england and my wife lives a 12 hour drive north of here. people at work don't seem to socialise or speak much. Anyone out there fancy gaining a new friend? or got any suggestions as to how i might make some? I tried joining a book club but their email got sent back... i'm considering volunteering but dont knwo what to do

Edmonton is a town of house parties in the winter. It will take a week or two for people to fully warm up to a stranger but it will happen. Talk to people, ask which is the favourite watering hole for people at your work. Drift along with them after work and join in. Your proble will be short-lived....good luck :wink:
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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Newfoundland!
i know what you mean. I had no trouble talking to people in fox lake. everyone knew who i was (that crazy brit with the funny hair)

definately meet for some coffee. Since coming to canada i discovered i love coffee

Isn't it funny that your wife, living in an area people consider to be 'isolated', will have an easier time meeting people?

I used to live in High Level, and I had such an easy time meeting people. I made some great friends, partied a lot, it was a blast. The bigger the city, the harder that is it seems. There's something so isolating about all those people.

I wish I could be more help, but I'm not on my way to Edmonton for a few months... haven't actually moved yet! PM me though... I'll be moving in just a few months (deal on the house fell through though, so, it could be longer), and I tend to consider myself not bad to deal with for the occasional coffee... but hey, I'm a little biased LOL

Best of luck.
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
27,780
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bliss
i know what you mean. I had no trouble talking to people in fox lake. everyone knew who i was (that crazy brit with the funny hair)

It was funny. My sister was living in Zama for two years, and then moved to Rainbow Lake shortly after we moved to High Level. People knew me in those towns too. I'd go maybe once a month, but everyone would know who I was. There's just something special about those little northern towns.
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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Newfoundland!
where i was is even special-er. Because u have to cross a river with no bridge to get there it keeps much of it's culture, and people do thing their own way there, with less reference to the outside world than most places. it can be quite frustrating and also delightful.

where r u moving from? high level?
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
27,780
285
83
bliss
where i was is even special-er. Because u have to cross a river with no bridge to get there it keeps much of it's culture, and people do thing their own way there, with less reference to the outside world than most places. it can be quite frustrating and also delightful.

where r u moving from? high level?

No... after High Level we were transferred to Fort St John. Gorgeous little community, but, not quite the same friendliness. Everyone's really civil of course. But, the social dynamic is very different. I've never lived in a more racist environment. I find it very frustrating. The town I grew up in had a reservation on its outskirts, and there would be incidents and altercations all the time. But everyone seemed to realize it was a social problem, not a racial one. High Level was constantly having problems with the outlying reservations as well.... people would come in from Assumption, and live in the parks for a week or so until they could get a ride back to the reservation. You couldn't buy a bottle of hairspray without asking behind the counter for it, because the people living in the parks would steal and drink hairspray once they'd run out of money for alcohol. Certain areas of the park were used as toilets, others as garbage dumps for AquaVelva and hairspray bottles... and still, I heard virtually no comments about 'dirty indians'. it was viewed as an issue of homelessness, rather than race. Crime in High Level at the time was typicaclly natives breaking into houses, sheds, etc, when it was too cold to sleep outside anymore. For example, we had a camper broken into. The men at the shop were ready to call the police until they took a better look... everything valuable was left alone, a can of food was opened and eaten, the bed was slept in, and all of the coats we used for camping were stolen. The guys all just shrugged.... 'must have needed it' was all that was said after that. No freak outs, no racial fingerpointing, just a recognition that the homelessness issue was bad.

So moving here, having to deal with a town where the natives are rich and working, and therefor worse than scum in the eyes of jealous white folk who don't have as much money, has just killed me. I'm fed up with it. Locals will complain about the 'drunk indians' in the street, but never mention that there are usually only a few drunks, hanging out in front of the bar, and it's typically a mix of white and native. They also don't mention that half the white men in this town are meth addicts, snapping and beating the snot out of anyone who looks at them wrong. You don't see that problem in the other races here like you do in the white guys... I'd take drunk over that any day. In a town where there is virtually no problem compared to what I've seen in the past, people are even MORE bitter. I hear the term 'dirty indian' thrown around here constantly. I'll be happy to be gone. I'm so ready to move.

Sorry for the ramble.
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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Newfoundland!
racism was pretty common in this place too. but it was anti-white racism, and not overt. There were jobs u couldn't get if u were white, and people who didnt look at you, and stores where u didnt feel entirely welcome. generally though, if u stuck with the right people it was lovely. there's always a few people who dont understand we're all just apes

No... after High Level we were transferred to Fort St John. Gorgeous little community, but, not quite the same friendliness. Everyone's really civil of course. But, the social dynamic is very different. I've never lived in a more racist environment. I find it very frustrating. The town I grew up in had a reservation on its outskirts, and there would be incidents and altercations all the time. But everyone seemed to realize it was a social problem, not a racial one. High Level was constantly having problems with the outlying reservations as well.... people would come in from Assumption, and live in the parks for a week or so until they could get a ride back to the reservation. You couldn't buy a bottle of hairspray without asking behind the counter for it, because the people living in the parks would steal and drink hairspray once they'd run out of money for alcohol. Certain areas of the park were used as toilets, others as garbage dumps for AquaVelva and hairspray bottles... and still, I heard virtually no comments about 'dirty indians'. it was viewed as an issue of homelessness, rather than race. Crime in High Level at the time was typicaclly natives breaking into houses, sheds, etc, when it was too cold to sleep outside anymore. For example, we had a camper broken into. The men at the shop were ready to call the police until they took a better look... everything valuable was left alone, a can of food was opened and eaten, the bed was slept in, and all of the coats we used for camping were stolen. The guys all just shrugged.... 'must have needed it' was all that was said after that. No freak outs, no racial fingerpointing, just a recognition that the homelessness issue was bad.

So moving here, having to deal with a town where the natives are rich and working, and therefor worse than scum in the eyes of jealous white folk who don't have as much money, has just killed me. I'm fed up with it. Locals will complain about the 'drunk indians' in the street, but never mention that there are usually only a few drunks, hanging out in front of the bar, and it's typically a mix of white and native. They also don't mention that half the white men in this town are meth addicts, snapping and beating the snot out of anyone who looks at them wrong. You don't see that problem in the other races here like you do in the white guys... I'd take drunk over that any day. In a town where there is virtually no problem compared to what I've seen in the past, people are even MORE bitter. I hear the term 'dirty indian' thrown around here constantly. I'll be happy to be gone. I'm so ready to move.

Sorry for the ramble.
 

mapleleafgirl

Electoral Member
Dec 13, 2006
864
12
18
34
windsor,ontario
Hi I've just moved into Edmonton. living near Whyte avenue. I am from england and my wife lives a 12 hour drive north of here. people at work don't seem to socialise or speak much. Anyone out there fancy gaining a new friend? or got any suggestions as to how i might make some? I tried joining a book club but their email got sent back... i'm considering volunteering but dont knwo what to do

why dosent your wife live with you
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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Newfoundland!
she works in a school in a reserve in the north of alberta. we're planning on moving in together but my job started this term and i would have been a fool to turn it down, and we need the money from both jobs and it would be unprofessional, and a bad career choice for her to resign. so we're apart. again.
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
27,780
285
83
bliss
she works in a school in a reserve in the north of alberta. we're planning on moving in together but my job started this term and i would have been a fool to turn it down, and we need the money from both jobs and it would be unprofessional, and a bad career choice for her to resign. so we're apart. again.

it's an epidemic I swear, my husband moved away to Edmonton too. i think this is worth some research... what is it exactly that makes men ditch their families and run off to this particular city? lol
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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Newfoundland!
harsh. i complained and cried that i'd have to leave my wife. It was only because it'd be bloody stupid to turn down the job that i came.
 

karrie

OogedyBoogedy
Jan 6, 2007
27,780
285
83
bliss
harsh. i complained and cried that i'd have to leave my wife. It was only because it'd be bloody stupid to turn down the job that i came.

it wasn't meant to be harsh hermann... honestly. i was seriously just joking. my hubby phones two or three times a day... moving away from your family is never easy, but, i find it easier to laugh about being apart than throw a pity party for myself. being snowed in here with two kids, no man to help shovel my van out of the driveway, or help keep up with things while this flu kicks the snot out of me, it would be too easy to be mopy about it. sorry if I hit a nerve or came across as rude.
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
7,267
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Newfoundland!
it wasn't meant to be harsh hermann... honestly. i was seriously just joking. my hubby phones two or three times a day... moving away from your family is never easy, but, i find it easier to laugh about being apart than throw a pity party for myself. being snowed in here with two kids, no man to help shovel my van out of the driveway, or help keep up with things while this flu kicks the snot out of me, it would be too easy to be mopy about it. sorry if I hit a nerve or came across as rude.

nah no rudeness. just jibes. She only went back a few days ago so still sore. just wish there was something to do other that go to work, come home from work and sit and stare at the walls
 

MagnoliaApples

Electoral Member
Apr 26, 2006
383
0
16
Hey

I used to live in Edmonton and unfortunately, and i hate to say this but - edmonton is pretty click-y. Groups seem to stick together and aren't overly friendly in letting 'others' into the 'circle of trust'. I lived there most of my life and the friends that i had were the same friends i made when i was in grade school. I have since moved and my friends there pretty much have stuck together. No one new in the 'circle'.

However, 2 of my friends have friends outside of the group but that's because they are the only 2 of us that aren't married. 1 made other friends because she worked as a waitress in a couple of bars so her friends are all work collegues from the bar and the other is just a plain out extrovert and social butterfly. She hangs around the art scene and if you are an artsy type you may want to try looking there but honestly these artsy type friends are sometimes flaky and don't last to long if you don't have anything to offer them.

I'm wondering what you're age group is? Edmonton is great if you're in the 20-30 range because going to the bars and things are normal for younger people and easier for them to 'hook-up'. But if you're married you're not looking to hook-up so it's harder. Seeing as how you're working - school is out of the question. Taking a course or something is a good way to meet people.

The only thing that i can suggest is to wait for some of the many festivals that come along - Edmonton is know as the City of Festivals. You can meet many people at these things. Seeing as how these are festivals, people are generally in a 'festive' mood and are willing to be open to new things and people.
Keep your eyes and ears open for them because i think you have a good chance at meeting people at these things. There's the Jazz festival downtown and the very popular Fringe Festival that takes place at Strathcona just off Whyte Ave and it lasts like 10 days or something like that. There is also the Folk Festival that is fun with alot of people that you might relate to. There are alot of them. Unfortunately most of these festivals begin in the late spring and summer so you have a little bit of a wait.

But keep trying with the book clubs and stuff. You might have gotten the e-mail address wrong but you can certainly try again or find some other bookclub or something else of the like that interests you. It's too bad i don't still live there. I would've taken you out for a coffee and shown you around. Oh well.

But, to make you feel better, the winter months are always dry even if you have friends. So maybe all you can do right now is go to some pubs but i would suggest to the local Chapters and buy yourself a couple of real good books and wait t'ill the Festivals start .
 

hermanntrude

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jun 23, 2006
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Newfoundland!
haha thanks for the advice

i'm 28 and married so not many options. I had noticed the festivallyness, but was hoping for something sooner. guess i'll just shout at people as they walk past and throw frozen dog turds
 

Sаbine

Electoral Member
Jan 11, 2007
119
1
18
.......people at work don't seem to socialise or speak much........

Make a cocktail party at your place and invite your colleagues. You'll make a whole bunch of friends, trust me. But if you don't drink alcohol.... well.... then a gingerbread party will do! :grin:

Luck,

Sabine
 

snowles

Electoral Member
May 21, 2006
324
16
18
Atikokan, Ontario
Sometimes it takes a while to make friends, that's for sure. When I moved to a different community twice, I found it difficult to make friends, but it will come naturally, it just takes some time and some patience (a little prodding doesn't always hurt either).

Talk to those you work with in a friendly manner; the place I used to work we'd go out once every couple of months to celebrate something, even if it was just drinks. Arrange a poker night once a month, or host a housewarming party the next time your wife comes into town; small things like that will get people talking about you, and people talking to you. These are the bonds of friendship that cannot simply appear, they must be planted and cared for.

You should be lucky, with your British accent you've got a natural talking point. People here are drawn to those with a unique characteristic about you; if you get them into a small localized setting, you've got a ton you can talk about. Likewise, you can seek advice from them about making your life easier in Canada. I've found the best friendships are based on those with a good rapport and those where the friendship is based on guidance and mentorship, in addition to sharing common interests.

My advice is to engage in conversation, and then to be a good listener. Take what they've said and find common interests that can spawn wonderful conversation. People respect those who not only listen, but can remember what they've said. If you do that, you'll find what you're looking for.
 

Ariadne

Council Member
Aug 7, 2006
2,432
8
38
I lived in Edmonton for a year and finally at the end of the year, when I'd had enough and was packing up to move, everyone I'd tried to befriend was suddenly calling. Bad timing, I suppose. My daughter lived there for a year and made tons of friends. She went to church ... seems like a good way to meet people.