Now I get your aversion to self-victimization. Well, lol, I get it
more as I understood it before.
Now you see what I was up against.
The thing is, what you specifically experienced was a just microcosm of society and the reason we keep going around in circles on most of these issues, racism, religious persecution, gender discrimination,etc.
You know, me, I'm honest, and every time in my life that I've had difficulty with something I've tried to be upfront about it. And I would tell people "I have a hard time with this because" or "This makes me anxious" or whatever. And they would say to me "Well, don't be that way."
I would think to myself "Well, fuk, if I could just simply 'not be that way', don't you think I would?" Lol.
But, again being honest, every single time in my life where I've pushed through a barrier or gotten past a fear it has simply been because "I just did it".
We spend all this time obsessing over the issue that racism or sexism or whatever is within our society, all obstensibly in an effort to eradicate it yet the more we dissect it, the more of an issue it becomes.
Maybe we just need to not make it an issue.