This is why you should be seeking professional help. Seriously, your behavior is quite disturbing. You are doing exactly the same things in exactly the same way as if you'd never been through it all before. It's as if you've learnt nothing at all from your previous attempts. You receive exactly the same objections every time, and yet you don't anticipate them or develop improved (or even different) responses at all.My will is not free to do otherwise.
Just let it go already. For your own sake. This is not healthy behavior.