You don't know me either - or the last thing you'd be calling me is a man-hater. Some of my best friends are men. Trump supporters even. ba-da-bing.
Name-calling: First indicator of a weak person. You calling someone a b*tch to somehow reinforce your point: first indicator of a weak
man.
You appear to have difficulty assimilating information that asks you to confront your own hypocrisy, so I'll repeat it again. I don't hate all men. I hate the
culture and behavioural reinforcement that promotes violence or dehumanization of
anyone.... this includes anyone participating willfully in that - whether they're male, female or undecided.
Throwing names that don't actually apply doesn't make it so. I love men.
And those that love me, appreciate the challenge I bring to their perspectives, just as I value theirs. Nope, they're not pussies, these guys, (ya, I saw ya going there) a couple of 'em are bikers, and we have chatted at length about their participation in promoting rape culture - and guess what -
they got it. You still don't.
I have, in the past week, run the gamut of emotions, questions, what ifs, how, and whys... and I refuse to settle for pat, ill considered answers or slogans, name calling etc as the final answer to any of it.
I ask tough questions of myself - which I don't hear being asked here. (and cannot fathom why not?) Questions like: what am I missing? Many of the people celebrating the sudden change in direction are people I like and admire - intrinsic shared values between us still exists for me, why doesn't it for them anymore?
How can we empower them enough to take away the fear that drives their hate? I'm looking - everywhere -(f*ck, even here!) and I cannot seem to find anyone who supports this kind of thinking and behaviour willing to hear anyone but themselves - with no comprehension of how dangerous it may be for them or someone they truly love at some point, if they don't elevate their vision above their own immediate wants.
Ya PN - it matters to me even why you - who clearly sees something wrong with violating women physically - cannot understand that there are so many ingrained ways to violate a woman - you don't even have to physically touch her to do it, and
you are doing it with sad regularity here.
I should have approached you in a much more open way to try and have this discussion, but I admit, I do feel like a prickly b*tch these days - it's hard to open oneself - be vulnerable - yet again, to this without approaching with one's own sword drawn. If I thought there was an opportunity to reach anyone here with an open heart instead of a harsh knee jerk post, I might have thought to try that.
Instead I submerged myself in the lowest, most base place right alongside you - in fear translated as hate. I'll own that, and even apologize for it. It's the one way we know doesn't work.
Am I helping with the way I'm posting? Clearly not, but I am still here, swimming amongst people who want nothing more than to somehow make me come away feeling less. Less everything - less empowered, less valued, less relevant, less worthy...
Because maybe, there's one curious mind poking around in here, trying to figure out what's important to them, what the big friggin deal is with all these 'leftards' - maybe pry some reluctant minds open to something that could look better for everyone - even those who have to lug around hate with them all the time to justify placing themselves above other human beings. And maybe, there's something you can teach me - but it won't happen within hateful rhetoric.
I realize I've come with unrealistic expectations. It won't stop me from trying though. It's all I can do for now. Yes, I am a progressive, and you are... what you are. I don't see anything to apologize for in that for either of us - but if you can explain to me how what I want is any different than what you want - without it costing someone else's wellbeing to get it - I'm here to listen.
But if the only way to get what you want is to stomp somebody else's rights out of existence, I'm here to stand between you and them - hopefully with my best intentions. I don't know what to do with this sword though. It still doesn't feel safe to put it away.
One humane remark PN - just one bold comment from you showing something vulnerable or curious about what it's like to be someone who isn't YOU, doesn't look like you, feel like you, earn a living like you, dream like you...
That's all it would take for me to see a light within you that somehow tells me we are both, at the end of the day, sharing the same space, being humans together in a very troubling time... and maybe open the door a crack for a much different conversation to occur.