Am I missing something here? Oral sex is sex! Oral sex with someone outside the marriage is adultery. How can it be anything else?
I cheated on him...
- Thread starter senorita
- Start date
Am I missing something here? Oral sex is sex! Oral sex with someone outside the marriage is adultery. How can it be anything else?
I thought it was virtual oral sex that was mentioned. I also think oral sex outside of marriage is aldultery, but
If you can simulate the act in your mind you'er guilty or lucky (depending on marital status) if you're married you have committed a sin, if you're not married you have a good imagination and lucky for it. I am exhausted now, sex is a lot of work.:smile:
Talking to someone online is not actually cheating in itself, but I am a bit amazed at the web cam part. I wouldn't want to use web cam to talk to any online friend, unless it was a really personal and intimate relationship. So, I guess the hubby is right to be upset...
talking to a friend on a webcam may or may not be cheating. I'd say if they talked and said such things as "er...hi... it's weird to actually see you... how are you" and they were both wearing full compliments of clothes... that's not cheating.
However if they said things like "oooo yeah, that's good, a little lower... show me your...." and they were naked.... then yes that's definitely cheating, especially if the other half doesnt know about it.
However if they said things like "oooo yeah, that's good, a little lower... show me your...." and they were naked.... then yes that's definitely cheating, especially if the other half doesnt know about it.
Where does one buy one of these web cams of which you speak?no, not cheating:roll:oboyoboyoboyoboyoboy:headbang:
Alot of people think flirting isn't cheating.
Of those, alot more think there is nothing wrong with kissing.
Of those, alot only think actual sex (not other forms of sexual activity such as oral sex) is cheating.
Of those, a few think its only cheating if you have an emotional attachement.
The end rule is:
Its cheating if you break the rules of your relationship. If you both think "eatin aint cheatin" then it isn't, if one of you thinks flirting is cheating, then it is. If you don't like the rules of the relationship your in..leave it.
Of those, alot more think there is nothing wrong with kissing.
Of those, alot only think actual sex (not other forms of sexual activity such as oral sex) is cheating.
Of those, a few think its only cheating if you have an emotional attachement.
The end rule is:
Its cheating if you break the rules of your relationship. If you both think "eatin aint cheatin" then it isn't, if one of you thinks flirting is cheating, then it is. If you don't like the rules of the relationship your in..leave it.
Exactly Zzarchov.
I know people who think that looking at another woman is being unfaithful.
I know people who date outside their marriage.
What it boils down to is the lines each couple draws. And if she and her hubby hadn't bothered to discuss those lines, they must be a bit naive. But, in the end, the best tell for 'is it cheating or not' is to consider whether you'd be hurt if your partner was behaving the same. If she'd be ticked to come home and catch her hubby having the same sort of webcam convo with a woman, then it's cheating. If not, then her intentions were fine. Only she can really know that.
I know people who think that looking at another woman is being unfaithful.
I know people who date outside their marriage.
What it boils down to is the lines each couple draws. And if she and her hubby hadn't bothered to discuss those lines, they must be a bit naive. But, in the end, the best tell for 'is it cheating or not' is to consider whether you'd be hurt if your partner was behaving the same. If she'd be ticked to come home and catch her hubby having the same sort of webcam convo with a woman, then it's cheating. If not, then her intentions were fine. Only she can really know that.
Its not important what they think. Its important what their divorce lawyers think.
If both partners have the same definition, there is no problem.
I think, if you can't look your partner in the eye and honestly tell them what you have been doing, you have cheated. Regardless of who you are, and regardless of what you have done.
All of this is just hedging or having your cake and eating it too. People who date outside their marriage probably don't have a marriage that is worth much. I could be wrong but I have seen so many of these so-called free relationships fall apart that I wonder if there was ever any commitment.
I've seen it work, I've seen it not work, just like monogamy. So I really don't know juan. To my way of thinking, there are simply too many people in the world to look at it on the surface and decide if it 'works' or not.
I've seen an open marriage in its 25th year, I was a little surprised, but they are happy togethor.
Marriage is about more than sex, they just don't even consider it an important part of being married (not my cup of tea but whatever makes them happy)
Marriage is about more than sex, they just don't even consider it an important part of being married (not my cup of tea but whatever makes them happy)
so if i asked for your pic, you'd think I was curious about 'other' things
.thanks for all the comments guys.
*Update with my friend. They're not getting along too well, but this time its not the web cam accusations...maybe they just need to work on some stuff...needless to say...relationships are complicated.
It makes me think though. When party A doesnt like a certain action of party B, we tend to bring into the discussion the fact that party A might be insecure. Is it really about insecurity though. What if part A just isnt comfortable with party B getting involved with somebody else.
so if i asked for your pic, you'd think I was curious about 'other' things
Probably - unless I thought I knew you well enough to not think that.
I agree. It isn't always about insecurity. It's often just a matter of different boundaries and comfort levels for certain situations.
Sometimes the word insecurity is used inappropriately too. For example, if someone in a relationship does something outside the agreed boundaries of the relationship, they've introduced a breach of trust - paying attention to the red flags that raises isn't necessarily being insecure, it could just be using the ol' noodle.
so if i asked for your pic, you'd think I was curious about 'other' things
thanks for all the comments guys.
*Update with my friend. They're not getting along too well, but this time its not the web cam accusations...maybe they just need to work on some stuff...needless to say...relationships are complicated.
It makes me think though. When party A doesnt like a certain action of party B, we tend to bring into the discussion the fact that party A might be insecure. Is it really about insecurity though. What if part A just isnt comfortable with party B getting involved with somebody else.
Aren't both the same thing - insecurity based? Is it possible Party A has been doing a little hanky-panky on the webcam? We do tend to be the yardstick we gauge others by.
Woof!