NHL jokes

[Avro]

Q. What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?

A. The Toronto Maple Leafs


Q. What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.


Q. How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?

A. Put up a goal net.


Q. What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?

A. A thief.


Q. How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?

A. Nobody knows and we may never find out.


Q. What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

 

[lone wolf]

Q & A from Health Canada

Q: The Stanley Cup was recently on tour in my town, and I kissed it. Do I have to worry about being infected by listeria?


A: You are safe. The Stanley Cup has not been in contact with any Maple Leaf product in over 40 years.

 

[Avro]

:lol::lol::lol:

Perhaps I should have named this thread "Leaf jokes", but they are the joke of the NHL so I guess it's appropriate.;-)

 

[scratch]

:lol::lol::lol:

Perhaps I should have named this thread "Leaf jokes", but they are the joke of the NHL so I guess it's appropriate.;-)

Yo...Avro...no pity for the poor Buds!

scratch

 

[scratch]

Q. What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?

A. The Toronto Maple Leafs


Q. What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.


Q. How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?

A. Put up a goal net.


Q. What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?

A. A thief.


Q. How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?

A. Nobody knows and we may never find out.


Q. What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Good stuff.

 

[GreenFish66]

What do the maple leafs do when they have an itch??


Scratch it!......Then bring Sundin back!

 

[lone wolf]

:lol::lol::lol:

Perhaps I should have named this thread "Leaf jokes", but they are the joke of the NHL so I guess it's appropriate.;-)

Yeah ... the only team in whe whole league whose following doesn't break down into hissy fits and cry when someone pokes fun at them....

 

[TenPenny]

Why do they have the big C and H painted at the Bell Center?

So the Canadiens will know it's Center Hice.

 

[Avro]

Yeah ... the only team in whe whole league whose following doesn't break down into hissy fits and cry when someone pokes fun at them....

I hope that was sarcasm.

 

[scratch]

speling

Why do they have the big C and H painted at the Bell Center?

So the Canadiens will know it's Center Hice.

Not `politically correct!`

Good one, though!

2 little ditties:

a. Who said: `E shoot, E score!`

b. Scene: an NHL Governors' Conference call: Question...What do the Leafs need?.......a team!

lol

scratch

 

[TenPenny]

Leaf Blower

 

[scratch]

Leaf Blower

No insult intended!

`Lithen, you bad boy brutes, only two at a time.`

 

[NorthernSun]

The leafs = bad. Nice jokes. They gave me a laugh to lighten up my mood.

 

[dumpthemonarchy]

I heard these jokes on the Team 1040 in Vancouver today. They are funny! Unfortunately, so are the Canucks these days.

 

[dumpthemonarchy]

Funny like the joke about the lion eating a clown, "I ate a clown today, and it tasted funny, don't eat them."

 

[GordonfromNS]

What's blue and white and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?

Toronto Maple Leafs

What's the difference between a plumber and the Leafs? A plumber gets paid after he goes down the drain.

Why are the Leafs like grizzly bears? Every fall they go into hibernation.

The former Leaf goalie, Vesa Toskala, was so frustrated and depressed over his Leafs defence players that he jumped in front of a GO train.

Fortunately, it went between his legs.