I cheated on him...

senorita

Nominee Member
Oct 29, 2007
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Ontario
Overlook the dramatic title.:p

A friend of mine is going through a disagreement with her hubby. He thinks she was chatting with some guy and had her webcam on for him. He considers it cheating. She denies it.At the same time, she states even if she did talk to some guy online and with a webcam, it is not a big deal.

What are your personal views?
 

Outta here

Senate Member
Jul 8, 2005
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Edmonton AB
The deets you gave are a little too vague for me to comment on. So many variables could change my opinion on a situation like that - such as what kind of marriage they have, degree of honesty/trust, and more than anything, what the wife's intention is when chatting, along with what they're chatting about.

Think about it. We chat here all the time. It's just a technologically evolved method of socializing for the majority of us. The web cam bit - if true, would probably raise my eyebrows though.

The disagreement appears to be symptomatic of something bigger to me - it's seems there's a trust issue and/or a control issue at play here.
 

senorita

Nominee Member
Oct 29, 2007
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Ontario
I'm sorry I should give more details. They've been married 5 years, have been together a few years before that. They have three kids. Very strong relationship. I mean I know them both, the guy is anything but controlling, usually its my friend who seems to want to have a say in everything he does. I dont know if she has talked to guys online , she told me the same thing she told him . That she hasnt done so.

Personally I dont think its a problem when the topics are more general. I'd say it was an issue if she was always talking to another guy about her personal life.
 

Outta here

Senate Member
Jul 8, 2005
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Edmonton AB
hmmm something's funny then. If they have a strong relationship and healthy degree of trust, why would he think she was engaging in untrustworthy behavior, and be so specific about what he thinks she was up to? Either she's given him reason somewhere along the line to question her loyalty, or ..... :?:
 

senorita

Nominee Member
Oct 29, 2007
92
5
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Ontario
oh he saw the webcam on the PC...and apparently they never use it. Again I honestly dont know what else..Im only getting her side of it.

I did ask her outright if she was chatting with guys via the cam..she denied it. But I know her really well, and I know even if she did, she wouldnt think it a bit deal. Only reason she's worried is because her hubby is mad..

I did express my views, I'd say it was cheating if she was talking to a guy about her personal life, and her hubby didnt know it. On the other hand another close friend is siding with the friend in question . She doesnt see how it would be cheating.
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
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It also depends what they saw on each others webcams.

Thank goodness I don't have one, I'd do something incredibly stupid with it.
 

lone wolf

Grossly Underrated
Nov 25, 2006
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One side of it is we are the yardstick we gauge others by. The other side of it is trust. Maybe they have some skeletons in closets or maybe they have some insecurity. No matter what, they better talk - soon -without judgment, reservation or interpretation.

Woof!
 

gerryh

Time Out
Nov 21, 2004
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Not just Bill....my wife and I know people...both man and women...that don't consider oral sex as cheating. Talking on the net.....even net sex...as long as they don't actually meet...it ain't cheating...many many people think this way.
 

lone wolf

Grossly Underrated
Nov 25, 2006
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Yeah, I've heard eatin' ain't cheatin' ... and cyber isn't real ... and flirting's not forever. Sooner or later, a line gets crossed and somebody cries. To each their own, I guess. No wonder lawyers are a self-propegating species/

Woof!
 

Outta here

Senate Member
Jul 8, 2005
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Edmonton AB
I have to agree wolf. Once the lines start blurring, it's just too easy to cross them. The 'rules' of online behaviour should (imo) carry the same expectations as real life. If you've got a relationship that tolerates those blurry lines, then have at 'er I guess. For me though, if it doesn't wash in RL, it doesn't in cyber life either. Leaving things to negotiation after something's come up (heh heh) is probably not gonna go smoothly.
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
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It depends on how many rye and cokes I might have consumed.
 

Outta here

Senate Member
Jul 8, 2005
6,778
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Edmonton AB
:lol::lol::lol: ok then. That's pretty close to lights out for me! You must be one of those guys that's still going when everyone else is just starting to wake up and realize what a mother of a hangover they've just given themselves. :p
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
21,155
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After that it kicks in fast and I black out, so I wouldn't know what I did. ;-)