Jesus was black.

Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
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Dexter, one of the wittiest posts I've seen in quite awhile! Stellar!
Thanks, but I can't really take credit for most of it. It was sent to me by a close relative, unattributed, so I have no idea who the original author is. It seems to be just one of those things that float around the Internet. I added a couple of points and did some minor editing to fix some grammatical and spelling errors in the version I received, but most of it's not really mine.
 

Ariadne

Council Member
Aug 7, 2006
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Jesus was a Jewish woman passing herself off as a man. And of course she was almost black ... that hot sun makes even the whitest of the white look black.
 

Sassylassie

House Member
Jan 31, 2006
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Lighten up. You think God has no sense of humour?

I'm sorry if I don't find this topic funny, but members of CC mock Jesus Christ on a daily basis while telling me I'm a racist for questioning Extreme Islam.

Dexter, what god, you don't have any beliefs or ethos regarding my "God" other than to demean him. If you can decent from your lofty tower of Acadamia for a moment, I'd find you funny if you shared your "Humour" to other religions but you dissertation on my beliefs amuses you but you call me a racist when I question a religion that permits raping children both males and females. Excuse me I have my ignore list to edit.

Self, I wasn't refering to you. You have humanity within you others pretend they do. I don't go through life asking Jesus why me, why not me I'm not anything special.
 

Ariadne

Council Member
Aug 7, 2006
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Show me a post where I unjustifiably call you a racist. Give me a link. If you're right, I will most humbly eat crow and abjectly apologize. But if you're wrong...

Well, okay, if Jesus wasn't a woman, maybe she was black, but without a doubt God is a woman. I can agree to one of the important religious figures being male, but not both ... that's just a little too chauvenistic. And dont' start up about Marie or Mary or whatever ... she was a virign, after all.
 

L Gilbert

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Here you go, Dex:

Who was Jesus?

Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and
nationality of Jesus. Recently, at a theological meeting in
Rome, scholars had a heated debate on this subject. One by
one, they offered their evidence...

>;) THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities
But then there were equally good arguments that...

>;) JESUS WAS BLACK
1. He called everybody "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial
But then there were equally good arguments that...

>;) JESUS WAS JEWISH
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God.
But then there were equally good argument that...

>;) JESUS WAS ITALIAN
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil
But then there were equally good arguments that...

>;) JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He started a new religion
But then there were equally good arguments that...

>;) JESUS WAS IRISH
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures
But perhaps the most compelling evidence ...

>;) THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN .....
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food
2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST DIDN'T GET IT
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do.

- From: Stella Marie Arungayan <smaa@iloilo.worldtelphil.com> on the ROTI List.
 

Ariadne

Council Member
Aug 7, 2006
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roflmao Which George Washington? If you mean the first prez of the States, there's a set of his wooden teeth in the Smithsonian, pieces of clothing he wore still exist, his house at Mount Vernon is still standing and there are tours there, etc. etc. ad nauseum. Thanks for the laugh. :)

That's about as real as landing on the moon and hanging Sadam. Wooden teeth? Seriously? If human teeth were carved in soapstone, would they be proof of something?
 

L Gilbert

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Well, okay, if Jesus wasn't a woman, maybe she was black, but without a doubt God is a woman. I can agree to one of the important religious figures being male, but not both ... that's just a little too chauvenistic. And dont' start up about Marie or Mary or whatever ... she was a virign, after all.
lol According to the experts and Jesus himself, he was your god, so that would mean that if your Yahweh is a woman then Jesus (aka Yeshua) must have been a transgender. So what's this woman's address anyway? I wouldn't mind having a chat with her about these dysfunctional bodies we have to suffer with in old age and the like. I would have made teeth out of a good quality stainless steel or something less likely to rot, skin with kevlar like qualities, titanium bones, etc.
 

L Gilbert

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That's about as real as landing on the moon and hanging Sadam. Wooden teeth? Seriously? If human teeth were carved in soapstone, would they be proof of something?
I guess nothing is real to you then. Seriously.
Um, I guess he only had one set of wooden teeth. The ones at the Smithsonian are made of a combination of materials. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6875436/
Um, ever heard of DNA? They can trace a person back to longer dates than Geo's couple hundred years with DNA testing. That's one way they tell who is actually descendants of famous people.
Perhaps going back to school may help you. ;)
 

Kreskin

Doctor of Thinkology
Feb 23, 2006
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There's no evidence that George Washington Existed
Therefore it's a good thing we all don't meet every Sunday at the Temple of George Washington, pass around money plates, and convince each other that he is the son of the creator of the universe.
 

gopher

Hall of Fame Member
Jun 26, 2005
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Of course Jesus was black.

Revelations 1:15 -- ''feet colour of brass''

Daniel 10:6 -- ''arms and feet color of brass''

Song of Solomon 1:5,6 -- ''I am black but comely ... I am black''

Jeremiah 8:21 -- "I am black"

Jews are black -- Lamentations 4:8, 5:10; Jeremiah 14:2


Moses was raised in the household of the Pharoah who was black according to the art and statuary that exists. Moses did not know he belonged to a different race of people and nobody could discern that he was a Levite {Exodus 2:1} -- the only conclusion one could reach from that is that he, too, was black.

It is a fact that Jesus and Madonna were portrayed in iconography as being black well until the 14th or 15th century.

 

Dexter Sinister

Unspecified Specialist
Oct 1, 2004
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Here you go, Dex
Holy Cow! I made up--or thought I did--some of the same stuff that was in the original, word for word! I must have seen it before and not consciously remembered it, or I couldn't have filled in the stuff that was missing from the version I was sent. Man, never trust your memory to give you the truth of things.