A spanked child may be a better adult

[Mowich]

I am all for variety in life I do not think my parents spanked me to be an automaton but to show me some basic rights and wrong the man who beats his wife or any another person period could argue then he is expressing him self as an individual but we know that is not so .

My parents always allowed me to express my individuality and I am very different than my two sisters.
thank them for the structure which has helped me become who I am but by no means did it define me as a person just as I am sure all who have been spanked are not the same as I

Right On, Justin! I thank my parents too, they provided me with a solid foundation and a set of morals that served me well over the years. I have five youngers sisters and all of us are individuals in our own right but we have basic core values that were learned when young.

Spanking was a small part of the discipline used by my parents, and reserved for huge infractions of the rules. By far the greater punishments were having extra chores added to our daily routines or losing our TV privileges, or having our allowance taken away. No matter the method used, we learned young that good behaviour was rewarded and bad behaviour was not worth the punishment.

 

[Francis2004]

I have never spanked my child. Most importantly I have never had too..

Education of a young child is as much a tool as it is for teens and adults.

Communication with kids is important and I guess many parents lack of skill and patients on wanting to communicate. The easy way out is what most of them take due to all the pressure we face and fact they have to deal with issues right away..


I have been able to talk my children out of almost anything.. At worse I will give them a time out and need to sit with them but have never had to spank them for any reason..

I believe verbal and mental abuse can be just as bad as spanking for many kids and that parents need to be careful what road they take..

 

[justinmb]

I think it would be an interesting survey to see how many bureaucratic politicians were spanked as a child I would bet few were. Which would explain the unending discussions with no results.
This being said I believe in democracy and talking things out when it is appropriate but one must remember touch is one of the most important senses we have which is why before all else a child communicates with their mother/father through touch first and not speech which makes it a useful tool to express emotions good or bad.

I do not think you have to spank every child or any child much but one cannot discount the value of the odd one to reach a point as long as the child understands what he/she did wrong then it is a useful deterrent.

And I also believe in hugs one cannot have the bad without the good or vise verse this is what makes a person balanced

 

[MHz]

Is it retro active? you know, better late than never

 

[JLM]

I think it would be an interesting survey to see how many bureaucratic politicians were spanked as a child I would bet few were. Which would explain the unending discussions with no results.
This being said I believe in democracy and talking things out when it is appropriate but one must remember touch is one of the most important senses we have which is why before all else a child communicates with their mother/father through touch first and not speech which makes it a useful tool to express emotions good or bad.

I do not think you have to spank every child or any child much but one cannot discount the value of the odd one to reach a point as long as the child understands what he/she did wrong then it is a useful deterrent.

And I also believe in hugs one cannot have the bad without the good or vise verse this is what makes a person balanced

Exactly, spanking a child for every infracture just makes them immune to it and at the end of a month couldn't tell you what they've had a licking for but when it's for something serious like stealing, lying or back talk then it leaves an indelible mark, but if some other means can be made to work, then that is good too.

 

[Francis2004]

I think it would be an interesting survey to see how many bureaucratic politicians were spanked as a child I would bet few were. Which would explain the unending discussions with no results.
This being said I believe in democracy and talking things out when it is appropriate but one must remember touch is one of the most important senses we have which is why before all else a child communicates with their mother/father through touch first and not speech which makes it a useful tool to express emotions good or bad.

I do not think you have to spank every child or any child much but one cannot discount the value of the odd one to reach a point as long as the child understands what he/she did wrong then it is a useful deterrent.

And I also believe in hugs one cannot have the bad without the good or vise verse this is what makes a person balanced

Of course communications is much more then verbal..

That's exactly what spanking is.. A non-verbal communication of "Don't do that"..

And I agree 100% that taking your child by the hand and walking with him calmly can be more effective then holding him down when they have a hissy fit.. Hell you need to say nothing many times to calm them down.. Just taking them away from the situation lets them take a break..

I also agree that Hugs are not just for bad or sad events. They are for all times.. Good, happy and sad times..

Good for you.. :lol:

 

[Colpy]

Anyone here old enough to remember having to go and cut their own switch?

Yes!

lol

By my grandmother......who was the sweetest, kindest, and most gentle lady you ever met.......died 35 years ago in her mid-80s.

Such understanding of psychology in them old folks! I remember cutting the switch, wondering how I could have been so stupid as to commit the transgretion....but I DON"T remember the lashing....although I'm sure I got one. Probably a light one, knowing her.....

Geez....they'd throw that sweet old lady in jail for 30 years now....our society has become increasingly moronic.

 

[AnnaG]

My Mum's tongue was a lot harsher than any "switch". Dad was cool, he'd just say something like, "Well you'll be wiser next time, won't you?" They both explained things, though.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

Gee, I just hate to see all this sweetness and light, everybody (well, almost everybody) agreeing how spanking is right. Well, it is time for me to set the cat among the pigeons.

JLM, quoting a study from a Christian College? Be ashamed. What conclusion do you think a researcher at a Christian college is going to come to? Suppose she had come to the conclusion that spanking is harmful to the children (as many studies have shown), do you think she would have kept her job?

Indeed, somebody made this precisely same point. To quote from your link:

“Grant Wilson, president of the Canadian Children's Rights Council, suggested that the study's results may have been influenced by Calvin College's Christian affiliation, adding that some religious groups have opposed abolition of corporal punishment.”

Doesn’t the Bible say ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’? What other conclusion would you expect a Christian college to come up with? Indeed, a professor at a Christian college concluding that spanking is beneficial is tantamount to a study financed by the tobacco lobby coming to the conclusion that smoking is good for you. Give me a break!

Besides, the study is probably seriously flawed scientifically. Again, to quote your link

“However this latest research, which Prof. Gunnoe admitted was previously rejected by two professional journals, including the Journal of Family Psychology, contradicts other findings that spanking is counterproductive.”

The paper was rejected by two scientific journals. The article doesn’t say that it had been published by any scientific journal, so it is quite possible that no scientific journal would publish it.

In summary this is a study by a special interest group (a Christian College) which is trying to promote their own theology (spare the rod, spoil the child). It is no different than a study sponsored by tobacco industry telling us that smoking isn’t harmful to you, or a company manufacturing candy bars, sweets, coming up with a diet which includes eating two of their candy bars every day (this actually happened).

In other word, the study is worth nothing.

 

[lone wolf]

Do you have an independent thought?

 

[justinmb]

I not a scientist but it seems to me we have a generation or two coming up where spanking was rare? if not frowned upon, now the same generations have not had a parent home for the majority I think and there is this thing called the internet but it seems to me the kids are getting worse now what does one attribute it to I am not sure but I think it is a combination of the three no discipline no structure and no monitoring. I could be wrong it is just my observation of surrounding influences

 

[karrie]

How exactly are upcoming generations 'worse'?

 

[SirJosephPorter]

I not a scientist but it seems to me we have a generation or two coming up where spanking was rare? if not frowned upon, now the same generations have not had a parent home for the majority I think and there is this thing called the internet but it seems to me the kids are getting worse now what does one attribute it to I am not sure but I think it is a combination of the three no discipline no structure and no monitoring. I could be wrong it is just my observation of surrounding influences

No spanking does not mean that there is no discipline, no structure, no mentoring, no monitoring. We never laid a hand on our son, but he had to live by the rules, by constraints. If he didn’t, there were consequences. Only that spanking, physical pain was not one of the consequences.

Indeed, that is the mistake many spanking advocates make, they assume alternatives are spanking or no discipline. Which is nonsense; one can have discipline, rules without subjecting the child to physical pain.

 

[lone wolf]

What worked for you may not always work. You may have been lucky. If there is no consequence, what aversion does the kid learn? Spanking is a last resort - spanking ... NOT beating or browbeating into sumbission. Can you provide a like to some absolute proof that a couple of slaps on the bottom ever created a monster?


BTW ... I'm not trying to start dialogue with the above poster. I am merely poking holes in his balloon.

 

[justinmb]

If you are spanking to create physical pain then it is to hard and for the wrong reason a spanking only requires a small bit of physical reinforcement to the idea you are trying to get across and only in the most extreme case it is the same as grabbing a child by the hand it reinforces they must come with you as an example

I have never stated you must spank all children but I am not oposed to the fact it may happen if need be.

Crime rates are climbing there is generally less respect for all in society, socially gids act as though they have some right to entitlement instead of working for what they want. the graffiti problem is one of the most prevalent when we were kids they did not have to lock up spray paint.

once again these are only my observations.

 

[karrie]

Crime rates are climbing there is generally less respect for all in society, socially gids act as though they have some right to entitlement instead of working for what they want. the graffiti problem is one of the most prevalent when we were kids they did not have to lock up spray paint.

once again these are only my observations.

"At a rate of 7,518 reported incidents per 100,000 people, the crime rate in 2006, the latest year for which there is statistics, was the lowest crime rate in twenty-five years.[1] The crime rate has been in general decline since 1991."

according to a cursory look on Wiki.

 

[SirJosephPorter]

"At a rate of 7,518 reported incidents per 100,000 people, the crime rate in 2006, the latest year for which there is statistics, was the lowest crime rate in twenty-five years.[1] The crime rate has been in general decline since 1991."

according to a cursory look on Wiki.

Just so, karrie. No matter how much crime rate comes down, it just doesn’t seem to sink in that crime rate is on the decline, has been for a long time now.

And of course, those who want to believe that crime rate is high and climbing for whatever reason (they much prefer the good old days, there is very little corporal punishment these days etc.) are more than willing to fall in line with the propaganda.

 

[justinmb]

"At a rate of 7,518 reported incidents per 100,000 people, the crime rate in 2006, the latest year for which there is statistics, was the lowest crime rate in twenty-five years.[1] The crime rate has been in general decline since 1991."

according to a cursory look on Wiki.

you are right over all the crime rate is down but if you look into the youth crime rate it has risen and that is what we are discussing

 

[karrie]

you are right over all the crime rate is down but if you look into the youth crime rate it has risen and that is what we are discussing

Not really, since the subject is what kind of adults people will become. Overall crime rates upon adulthood means a lot more to me than some complaints about tagging right now.

 

[justinmb]

not really it is about the children that will grow up to be adults and up until the 70"s or so spanking was still fairly accepted it is the 80's/90's born kids that we are seeing the effects on.
Check this article out you might find it interesting

Youth crime and flawed statistics | rabble.ca

I am not saying I am right things always seem better in the past but maybe they were not I am just observing the society around me.