And I totally get that... I would never expect you to sit here and say that gays deserve the right to marry in the church. A homily presented by a priest recently shed a lot of light on the issue for me, and boiled down very simply to its basic elements what he had to say was...
"The church feels very strongly that a mother and father marrying and having children, creates the strongest foundation for society. It is the ideal which the church tries to reinforce." he then went on to address divorce, and homosexuality, as life situations which do not fit into the ideal the church wishes to maintain. "But, if someone is unable to achieve the ideal the church has put forth, it is our duty as Christians, to not pass judgement, and to accept that it is simply not possible for everyone in life to be able to meet it."
While he wasn't speaking against church doctrine, rather explaining it, at the same time, he was preaching tolerance and a more 'Christian view', than saying it's 'wrong'.
Exactly. I've said much the same in some of my homilies.