>>HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
>>
>>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
>>
>>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
>>them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
>>will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
>>of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
>>
>>
>>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
>>
>>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
>>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
>>efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
>>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
>>vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
>>allowance of vegetable products.
>>
>>
>>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>>
>>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
>>means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of
>>the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
>>
>>
>>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>>
>>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If
>>you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>>
>>
>>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
>>program?
>>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !
>>
>>
>>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>>
>>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
>>In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
>>for you?
>>
>>
>> Q:Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
>> middle?
>>
>>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
>>only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>>
>>
>>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>>
>>A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
>>feel-good food around!
>>
>>
>>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>>
>>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
>>
>>
>>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>>
>>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
>>
>> Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
>> about food and diets.
>>
>>And remember:
>>
>>"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
>>safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
>>sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
>>thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"