Ve haff vays of making you laugh.


Hall of Fame Member
Oct 9, 2004
The Sun

Germans show funny side

Don't mention the war.


GERMANY’S soccer-mad new ambassador to Britain yesterday declared all-out war on his countrymen’s dour image — by promising a fun-filled World Cup.

Wolfgang Ischinger insisted the tournament was the ideal opportunity for Germans to prove they DO have a sense of humour.

And he said the nation also loved nothing better than a good knees-up.

The envoy explained: “Germans love to have parties and they have parties more than most people. There are beer festivals all over the country.

“They are celebrated with vigour and also with quite a bit of alcoholic beverage, which is not much different from the British.”

Herr Ischinger, 60, went on: “The tournament gives us the perfect opportunity to present a new image of our country. This is the year for us to show that the clichés and stereotypes of the old days are no longer relevant.

“No country likes to see itself presented in such a negative way. It’s going to be my mission to do our best to change that and show a different image of Germany.”

The dad of three, who arrived in Britain just days ago, launched his crusade after replacing controversial ambassador Thomas Matussek.

Herr Matussek sparked fury by accusing British schools of failing to teach kids about post-war Germany.

The new envoy’s arrival has already seen a bid by the German embassy to show the nation in a fresh light.

Last week it launched a student essay competition titled: “Don’t mention the War”.

The contest — fronted by comedian John Cleese who made the saying famous when he played TV’s Basil Fawlty — features summer courses in Berlin as prizes.

Herr Ischinger showed his own sense of humour by laughing off the outcry over plans for British fans to sing World Cup songs in German.

He said: “I will not be provoked into an angry reaction.”


1. EVERY New Year Germans are glued to the telly for a quirky 1950s British music hall sketch called Dinner For One.

2. Germany’s top gag is: “How do you double the value of a Trabant? Fill the tank.”

3. German striker Rudi Voller’s mullet brought laughter to millions around the globe.

4. Er . . . that’s it.


Hall of Fame Member
Oct 9, 2004
"The Germans" sketch in Fawlty Towers.

A group of Germans arrive at the hotel -

Basil: "Don't mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. So it's all forgotten now and let's hear no more about it. So that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Herman Goering and four Colditz, wait a minute...I got confused because everyone keeps mentioning the war." 

German: "Will you stop mentioning the war?"

Basil: " You started it."

German: " We did not start it."

Basil: " Yes you did, you invaded Poland..."