Moscow, not that long ago
Good, now that I have your attention, a very, very short narrative.
I am no longer pursuing people who have violated the Code of Criminal Procedure, Now, I am forced to listen to tourists boasting of their theft of state property. They speak of how rude the people from St. Petersburg are, and how poorly the GUM are operated. Fools! Comrade Putin is changing things back.
Shhh! Do you hear the guard’s muted steps? Their leather boots remind me of our days in the Lenin Military-Political Academy. We were so dispassionately integrated apart.
Somewhere near Red Square, present day
Don't cry out! My time is short. Take the bus from Lenin's Tomb and go to Lenin's Museum. Once inside, go up the stairs and tip your hat to Comrade Lenin. His ghost stands on the stairway...
Look for his death mask and slippers. Begin a peasant dance. You know, the ones that Vladimir loved so much. Hum softly, but do not play the violin, lest the guards hear your musik!
This will trigger the secret entrance to the Narrow Council of People's Commissars, located between the walls. There, you will be greeted by three ghosts. The first ghost, who looks oddly like Stalin, is called the Ghost of Revolutions Past. He will take you down memory lane. The good old days before spy satellites, defectors and indoor plumbing. Beware! He will try to send you to a gulag! But he is only a ghost and is powerless.
Do you remember how they served free borscht in the days after his death?
Andropov is the Ghost of Revolution Now! A strange group of confused Communists that threw a temper tantrum and changed the way people used telephones and munitions. They may have overseen the fall of Communism, but they would gladly overturn the turner-overers to get back in power. KGB careful!
Finally, your trip to the museum will finish with the Ghost of Russian Rapper "Bolshoi Boi Goy". After seeing his futuristic show, you may want to go back to 1917.
My god, don't you see? We are trapped in a hellish dimension of time between the US and Putin! Even a Borg collective would be an improvement.
Help us, please!
Good, now that I have your attention, a very, very short narrative.
I am no longer pursuing people who have violated the Code of Criminal Procedure, Now, I am forced to listen to tourists boasting of their theft of state property. They speak of how rude the people from St. Petersburg are, and how poorly the GUM are operated. Fools! Comrade Putin is changing things back.
Shhh! Do you hear the guard’s muted steps? Their leather boots remind me of our days in the Lenin Military-Political Academy. We were so dispassionately integrated apart.
Somewhere near Red Square, present day
Don't cry out! My time is short. Take the bus from Lenin's Tomb and go to Lenin's Museum. Once inside, go up the stairs and tip your hat to Comrade Lenin. His ghost stands on the stairway...
Look for his death mask and slippers. Begin a peasant dance. You know, the ones that Vladimir loved so much. Hum softly, but do not play the violin, lest the guards hear your musik!
This will trigger the secret entrance to the Narrow Council of People's Commissars, located between the walls. There, you will be greeted by three ghosts. The first ghost, who looks oddly like Stalin, is called the Ghost of Revolutions Past. He will take you down memory lane. The good old days before spy satellites, defectors and indoor plumbing. Beware! He will try to send you to a gulag! But he is only a ghost and is powerless.
Do you remember how they served free borscht in the days after his death?
Andropov is the Ghost of Revolution Now! A strange group of confused Communists that threw a temper tantrum and changed the way people used telephones and munitions. They may have overseen the fall of Communism, but they would gladly overturn the turner-overers to get back in power. KGB careful!
Finally, your trip to the museum will finish with the Ghost of Russian Rapper "Bolshoi Boi Goy". After seeing his futuristic show, you may want to go back to 1917.
My god, don't you see? We are trapped in a hellish dimension of time between the US and Putin! Even a Borg collective would be an improvement.
Help us, please!